For The First Time
by Hidge
Summary: In the aftermath of San Francisco, April and Jackson try to make sense of the sudden shift in their relationship, and friends, family, and fellowships only serve to complicate things even further. Please R&R!
1. What Does This Mean?

**A/N: This story is canon through Season 8 until the very end of 8x22 – "Let the Bad Times Roll". So ignore that final scene where they return to Seattle Grace and get their Boards results.**

**Timeline: For my purposes, they took their Boards on April 14th.**

**This story is un-betaed so forgive any errors. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters. **

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**Chapter 1 – What Does This Mean?**

Meredith Grey's description of the Boards couldn't have been more accurate. They were hell…actual physical hell. The fifth year residents found some solace in the fact that they _all_ felt miserable about the exam. Maybe they had all failed. It was a small victory that when they returned to Seattle they had the rest of the day off. The five of them headed to their homes except for Alex Karev, who felt compelled to check with Dr. Robbins about how Morgan was doing.

Jackson Avery and April Kepner dejectedly shuffled into their new, barely lived in apartment. They left their luggage in the porch and walked into the kitchen. They both had the same thing in mind.

Jackson opened the refrigerator and groaned. "We're out of beer."

"I have liquor in my room," April revealed. "Come on." She gestured for him to follow her as she headed to her bedroom.

"Why are you hording booze in your room?" He asked with a laugh.

"Because I don't want you and Alex to drink it all," she replied as if it was the obvious answer.

When they entered her bedroom, Jackson fell back onto her bed while she riffled through one of her drawers.

"Found it," she said triumphantly as she held up a large, full bottle of whiskey.

Jackson smiled as he sat up and removed his suit jacket. "Have I told you today that you're my best friend?"

April laughed and sat down next to him on her bed. She followed Jackson's lead and pulled off her blazer and kicked off her heels. She had never spent an entire evening drinking before but she didn't feel like doing anything else right now. She needed a drink and she needed one badly.

They both sat on her bed, legs fully extended, with their backs leaning against the headboard. She opened the bottle and took the first sip. She coughed as the dark liquid burned her throat.

"God, that's strong!"

She passed the bottle to Jackson and he grinned. "Good, the stronger the better." He sighed in pleasure after taking his first taste. "Perfect."

April's cell phone, which she had laid on her dresser, began to ring and she uncharacteristically ignored it.

"Are you gonna get that?" Jackson asked curiously.

She shook her head. "No. Definitely not. It's my parents calling to see how my exam was and I just can't talk to them right now. I'll cry and I won't have the heart to tell them that it was a disaster and that I probably failed. I mean, how many Chief Residents fail the Boards?" She asked desperately.

"You're not going to fail," he answered supportively. "I'm going to fail and I won't be able to talk to my family ever again. Harper Avery's grandson cannot fail the Boards."

"You're not going to fail Jackson."

He groaned and took another sip of whiskey. "Let's talk about something else." He realized that both of them dwelling on their Boards catastrophe was not helping.

"Okay," she said in agreement.

There was a silence in which they passed the bottle of whiskey back and forth until Jackson turned to her and laughed. "I still can't believe you punched that guy in the face."

She laughed along with him and covered her blushing face with her hands. "Me either, but he deserved it."

"Yeah he did," he agreed. He was actually glad that April had stood up for herself because he had been seconds away from punching the guy himself. "He was a douche."

"Do you know what sucks though?"

"What?" He asked curiously.

"The Case Western Reserve Head of Trauma, Dr. Stevenson, did flirt with me a little bit during my interview." She was embarrassed to admit it but she needed to vent.

"Really?" He was both surprised and enraged. He hated the doctors who preyed on people who were eager to learn and succeed. He had practically grown up in a hospital so he had seen it happen on countless occasions, and someone like April was innocent enough not to see someone's ulterior motives. She saw the good in people; it's why she put up with Karev and Yang, no matter how mercilessly they teased her.

"Yeah, I thought that it was harmless but what if he's expecting something," she said worriedly.

Jackson pondered her statement for a moment. He knew that the very last thing that April wanted was to be offered a job because she was an attractive woman. "Well, if it comes up, you set him straight or," he purposed, "you take a job somewhere else and avoid the situation all together."

She sighed and took a rather large gulp of whiskey. "It's not like hospitals are breaking down my door Jackson."

"April," he began with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "You're the most in demand resident after Yang." He had overheard Hunt bragging that she had job offers from four programs besides Seattle Grace Mercy West, and she hadn't had the time to have interviews with countless others. "As you should be. You're a great doctor."

"Thank you," she replied softly before she repeated her mantra. "I'm a soldier."

"Okay," he chuckled, "you have to tell me what that's about now."

"Before we left for the Boards, Chief Hunt gave me a little pep talk. He told me that trauma surgeons battle every day. We're soldiers." It was a motto that she was trying to take to heart. She wanted to be a solider and not the emotional, annoying, little girl that so many people saw her as.

"See, that makes so much more sense to me now," he teased.

She giggled and he smiled at her dimples and the way she crinkled her nose.

Jackson took another drink and then stared at the half empty bottle. He was starting to feel a little lightheaded and he was definitely on his way to being drunk. April was obviously farther along than he was; she was a lightweight and usually limited herself to two drinks when they went out. He loosened his tie as his eyes drifted to her bare legs. Her skirt fell just above the knee and her legs were crossed at the ankles.

He was a man, so he had previously noticed that his best friend was an attractive woman, but recently he had started to see her in a different light. He blamed Mark Sloan. Everything had started to shift. In San Francisco they had crossed that imaginary line and now everything about her was sexy. He had no idea if it had been the wine, or the adrenaline, or the stress, or if it was a part of herself that she kept hidden, but last night she had been bold and confident, and it had seriously turned him on.

The sex had been beyond anything that he had expected. _She_ had been beyond anything that he had expected. He hadn't been with a virgin since he was a virgin himself and they were best friends. He had expected it to be shy, timid, and perhaps even slightly awkward but it had been none of those things. She had known exactly what to do. Every touch, every sound, and every taste was catalogued in his memory. Her first time had been incredible for him and then again this morning, in the men's bathroom…she was driving him crazy.

Now that the Boards were over, being with her was all he could think about.

He knew that she felt guilty, like she had betrayed Jesus, and he felt terrible for being the cause of that guilt. He recognized the weight of what they had done, that she had given him something that she couldn't give to any other guy and he loved that she chose him. But he couldn't help but think that in some way he had taken advantage of her. He hadn't exactly put up much of a fight after she had kissed him for the first time. He kept telling himself over and over again that he wasn't that kind of guy. He wasn't the kind of guy who made his best friend break her promise to Jesus. But she had said it was okay and he couldn't bring himself to regret it, no matter how hard he tried.

"Hey," he called quietly and she turned her head to face him. "Can we talk about last night…and today?"

"What about it?" She questioned uneasily.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He had lost count of the number of times he'd asked her that question but her answer was very important to him.

"Yes," she smiled genuinely. "I know that I freaked out a little…" She paused and reconsidered her comment when he raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I freaked out a lot, but it was because everything was hitting me all at once. I had a weird epiphany today during the exam. I don't regret what we did. You're my best friend, I'm glad it was you," she told him honestly.

The only man in her life who meant more to her than Jackson was her father. She was still confused about her faith but she was happy that someone who was so important to her had taken her virginity. He was kind and sweet, and he really cared about her. She knew that they loved each other; it just wasn't on a romantic level.

"Good," he smiled back. He took yet another gulp of liquid courage before he broached a potentially dangerous topic of conversation. "It was really great, I didn't say that just to be polite or whatever. It was really, _really_ great."

"Yeah it was," she giggled. "It really was." She hadn't expected her first time to be enjoyable but her toes had curled. It had been painful and uncomfortable at first but that had eventually subsided. He had been slow and gentle, and she had loved the feeling of him inside of her…the feeling of being connected to him.

The one thing that they had both noticed that neither of them had addressed yet was that their connection had seriously intensified since last night. They had a spark. There was fire and passion that neither of them could have predicted.

Jackson rolled over onto his side and scooted closer to her. He was more than confident in his abilities in the bedroom but the curiosity was too much, he was drunk enough to ask the question and April was drunk enough to honestly answer. "You…um..._enjoyed_ yourself, right?" She had been rather vocal, and he was pretty sure that she had, but he wanted verbal confirmation.

She met his gaze and grinned. "Yes, I _enjoyed_ myself." She swallowed a mouthful of whiskey before she added, "Multiple times." He smiled smugly and she rolled her eyes. "Like you needed the ego boost? You already know you're irresistible to women."

"You think I'm irresistible?" He teased playfully.

Her face felt like it was on fire and she knew that all of that could not be attributed to the alcohol, which was now all gone. She laid the empty bottle on her bedroom floor and turned back towards a still grinning Jackson. "Stop it," she said as she smacked his chest. "You're embarrassing me."

"I'm sorry." His apology was half-hearted and they both knew it. "I'm sorry," he repeated as he reached forward and tickled the skin of her knee.

She quickly pulled away from him and looked at him in warning. "Jackson, don't." She was ticklish and he now knew every sensitive spot on her body.

"I'm sorry." He said it again but this time he was serious and his voice had dropped several octaves. He propped himself up on his elbow and stared down at her as he slowly moved his hand along her body, from her knee to her ribs. His thumb grazed the outside of her breast and she inhaled sharply. He whispered her name before he leaned down to capture her lips.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his body down on top of hers. She kissed him back and her kisses were just as confident as they had been the night before and earlier today. He really liked the self-assured side of her.

"Do you really want to do this again?" He asked considerately. He was drunk and he wanted her but she was drunk too and he needed to make sure that she was okay with what they were doing.

"Yeah," she answered breathlessly. "Yeah." She was already removing his tie.

"You sure?" He double-checked despite the fact that his hands were pushing up her skirt as if he had no control over them.

She laughed into his ear and it sent shivers down his spine. "Yes. You don't have to be a gentleman all the time."

"Trust me, I'm not a gentleman," he replied huskily.

If he was a gentleman, he wouldn't have taken his best friend's virginity. If he was a gentleman, he wouldn't be having sex with her again, for the second time today. If he was a gentleman, he wouldn't have had a quickie with her in a men's bathroom. If he was really a gentleman he wouldn't have started it by teasing her about finding him attractive. He wouldn't have tickled her knee just as an excuse to touch her. And if he was a gentleman, he would find the willpower not to kiss her and to go back to just being her friend. She seemed to have a much higher opinion of him than he did of himself. He didn't deserve her and he knew it.

He pulled her shirt and camisole over her head and she set to work on the buttons on his shirt. Their clothes hit her bedroom floor quickly until they were in just their underwear.

She slipped a hand into the back of his boxer briefs and he reflexively pushed his hips into hers. She gasped as she pulled away from his mouth to kiss his neck. "Jackson, do you have a…um…?"

He raised his head and looked at her in confusion. "What?" She stared at him pointedly and it clicked. She was asking him if he had a condom. "Oh, yeah, I do, in my room." He cradled her face and gave her a soft kiss. "I'll be right back."

He rushed to his bedroom and grabbed the box of condoms out of the drawer of his bedside table. They were about to have sex for the third time in twenty-four hours, he was bringing the whole box just to be prepared. He returned to April's room and closed and locked the door behind him. Neither of them wanted Karev interrupting.

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"So, um, what does this mean?" April asked as she lay on her back and attempted to catch her breath.

"That is a good question," Jackson answered honestly. He lay next to her and reached for her hand beneath her freshly rumpled bed sheets. "Do you want to talk about it now?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I think we should."

"Okay," he nodded.

They both agreed that they were going to talk about…whatever they are…yet they were silent. Neither of them knew where to begin. They had been friends since their internship and best friends since the shooting and now, all of a sudden they couldn't keep their hands off each other.

The real question they were trying to answer was: where do they go from here?

"We're best friends," she simply stated.

"Yes, we are," he confirmed.

"You're not supposed to sleep with your best friend."

She was on the verge of another freak out and Jackson could feel it. He propped himself up on his elbow and gently stroked her face with his other hand. "We can go back to the way things were, if you want."

He was leaving the decision up to her because he was trying to be the gentleman she accused him of being, and because he honestly didn't know what he wanted to do. When it came down to it, they were all each other had and the possibility of ruining that scared the shit out of him. He was afraid that they would hurt each other and ruin the most honest friendship he had ever had. The relationship that he had with her was the most important one in his life and he had told her as much this morning when she had brought up his relationship with his mother. She had a big family that she only saw at Thanksgiving or Christmas, and the Fourth of July because of her crazy schedule and large medical school debt, so he was the person she regularly leaned on. He was her protector. And he depended on her just as much, if not more.

They could be an incredible couple but they were also capable of ending a beautiful friendship.

"I don't know if I want to go back to the way things were," she confessed dejectedly.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm not sure if I do either."

"So, what do we do?"

He gave her a small smile and answered her truthfully. "I have no idea."

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**A/N: This story is already completely written and I will be updating on Tuesdays and Fridays! It's great to be back! Please review and tell me what you think!**


	2. The Results Are In

**A/N: Thanks for the support! Un-betaed and rated M for a reason! Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

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**Chapter 2 – The Results Are In**

Alex Karev was so happy that he practically pranced into his apartment. He had passed the Boards! He was in absolute shock. He had passed the Boards and so had Meredith and Cristina.

He found Jackson in the kitchen in shorts and a t-shirt drinking a cup of coffee. "Dude, it's almost midnight, what are you doing drinking coffee?"

Jackson chuckled, "April and I went a little overboard on whiskey earlier."

"Where is she?" He asked quickly.

"In the shower. Why?"

Alex beamed with excitement. "The Boards results are in early. I passed!"

"Holy shit!" Jackson laid his mug on the counter and then raced to his bedroom. He grabbed his cell phone off of his bed and promptly checked his email. He breathed a sigh of relief before he exploded with joy. "I passed!"

Alex came down the hallway laughing as he heard Jackson repeating that he passed. The two men high-fived before they converged to bang on the bathroom door, they needed their roommate to check her result.

"April, get out here!" Jackson yelled.

"I'm in the shower!" She bellowed back.

"The Boards results are in!" Alex added.

They both heard the water shut off and then waited a minute or two before the bathroom door opened and April stood before them, soaking wet, with a towel wrapped around her body.

"You guys passed?" She smiled.

They nodded and Jackson handed her his phone. "Here! Check!"

She accepted his phone and blankly stared down at it. "Um," she started nervously. "I just need a minute."

This was the culmination of everything that she had worked for since she was fifteen. Four years of torment disguised as high school. Four years of undergrad at Butler. Four years of med school at the University of Chicago. Countless exams. Five years of residency. Everything came down to this and she wasn't ready for the possible disappointment and failure. She had never failed at anything academically in her life. When she had gotten fired from Seattle Grace Mercy West it had devastated her. She couldn't fail this test; she wouldn't know what to do.

"Come on Kepner," Alex encouraged, "it's like a Band-Aid."

"You're a soldier," Jackson grinned.

Alex turned to him in confusion. "What?"

"Long story," he replied.

April cracked a small smile before her fingers began to slowly move over the keypad. She was a solider. The webpage loaded and she exhaled the breath that she had been holding. "Thank God," she chuckled.

"You passed?" Jackson asked excitedly.

She smiled and nodded. "I passed!"

"We passed!" Jackson exclaimed with his arms in the air.

April was quickly enveloped in a hug from her two male roommates as they celebrated becoming Board certified surgeons. They were going to be attendings. They would be upgrading to different colour scrubs and bossing residents around. It was exciting.

Alex let go first and laughed. "Well, I'm going to grab a drink at Joe's. You guys coming?"

Jackson shook his head. "I've already had too much to drink today."

April grimaced, "Yeah, me too."

"I'll catch you two later then! Don't wait up!" He bounded out of the apartment with a smile still plastered on his face.

April and Jackson stood in the hallway and listened to the front door slam shut. She looked up at him and whispered happily, "We passed."

"We passed," he repeated. He would say that phrase as often as necessary until it finally sunk in.

They were both aware that this was a moment that needed to be shared between just the two of them. They were the two survivors from their Mercy West intern group. They had been through hell together and now they were embarking on a new chapter.

"I can't drink anymore," she laughed. "So I guess that form of celebrating is out."

He chuckled along with her. "Yeah me either, I just had a cup of coffee."

April shifted her feet awkwardly. "I should…um…finish my shower." As she spoke her eyes strayed to Jackson's chest and studied the way his t-shirt stretched across his broad, muscled frame. When she met his gaze she saw the hungry look in his blue-green eyes that she was growing accustomed to. "Do you maybe…want to join me?"

"Yeah," he groaned. "I do." He had wanted an invitation when she had first gotten in the shower.

Earlier, they had decided that they were going to take some time to figure out what they were doing, how they could be defined, and during that time they were just going to do what came naturally. They were also going to keep it private, they didn't want hospital gossip swirling around them. He had been willing to take the newfound physical aspect out of their relationship, as difficult as it would be, but she had argued that it would just confuse her thoughts and feelings even more to suddenly stop.

She took his hand and led him into the bathroom.

"Are you sore?" He asked in concern as he closed the door behind him. The thought hadn't struck him until now but it was something that he should have considered before.

"A little," she nodded. She stepped into the shower and tossed the towel behind her. She pulled the shower curtain over before she started the water.

He felt the guilt creep back in as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and pushed down his shorts. She had been a virgin, she should be sore, and he hadn't exactly been gentle with her in that men's restroom. He followed her into the shower and immediately wrapped his arms around her from behind. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For what?"

"For this morning," he explained. "I was rough."

"Don't apologize. I kinda like it," she admitted with a nervous giggle.

"Duly noted," he grinned. He could just imagine the blush that was spreading across her face and down her neck so he spun her around to face him. He pushed her wet hair out of her face and smiled as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "This new thing between us isn't just because we had sex," he told her sincerely. He had been feeling their relationship change since his breakup with Lexie; he just hadn't realized where exactly it was going until she had kissed him.

"I know," she answered.

"Which is why I'm just going to kiss you and wash your hair." He leaned down to kiss her and it was long and slow, completely languid and unhurried. It was different from the other kisses they had shared and it had the desired effect on the woman in his arms. She moaned and pulled him down for another.

As they continued to kiss, Jackson pushed her forward so that they were both standing under the stream of hot water. He held her face in one hand and ran the other slowly up her back until it was tangled in her hair. It was harder to stop kissing than they had both anticipated. They were like a couple of teenagers, but it made perfect sense. He was a guy with a very healthy sex drive and she was having the first sexual experiences of her life. Also, they were insanely attracted to each other.

He pulled away from her mouth to place a tender kiss on her temple. "Pass me your shampoo."

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April lay awake in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She missed Jackson even though he was sleeping in the room next door. She missed him and was hoping that he would knock on her door before the night was over. She had only ever shared a bed with her sisters and Reed, so maybe it was just the curiosity of what sleeping next to a man would feel like. However, when she was honest with herself she admitted that she had wanted to ask Jackson to stay last night but she had been feeling emotional and on the verge of a small breakdown and she hadn't wanted him there for that. She had just been so confused about God and him…and the incredible sex.

She was a naturally insecure person and sadly, she always had been. She was insecure about her looks, her personality, and her skills as a doctor. And she was deathly insecure about the fact that no one had loved her yet. She pushed people away without even knowing it; she hadn't allowed anyone to love her yet. Most of the time she managed to put on a brave face but she was insecure at heart and losing her virginity to Jackson had brought a lot of those insecurities to the surface. He was kind, brilliant, and talented. He was gorgeous from head to toe and had women throwing themselves at him wherever he went. It was hard not to feel vulnerable and insecure around him, despite the fact that he was her best friend and had already seen her at her worst.

But she had firmly decided in San Francisco that she was done hiding. She was done trying to be someone that she wasn't, and she was finished with feeling guilty for giving her virginity to Jackson. Being with him had felt good. It had felt right. It wasn't like she had gone and had sex with some random.

She finally gave in and got out of her bed. She crept next door and slowly opened the door.

Jackson heard his bedroom door open and close and he sleepily rolled over. He reached for his bedside lamp and flicked on the light. April stood in his room in a baggy Butler t-shirt and shorts, with her back pressed against the door.

"April, what's wrong?" He asked groggily.

"Last night I wanted you to stay, I just couldn't…" she confessed.

He sat up and smiled. "That's okay."

"Can I stay with you tonight?" She asked as she nervously bit down on her bottom lip.

"Of course." He moved over in his bed and pulled back the covers in invitation. "Is anything else bothering you?"

She shook her head as she turned off the lamp before sliding into bed beside him. They lay on their sides so that they faced each together and she waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness before she spoke. "I just realized how scared I am."

He gulped. "What do you mean?"

"I missed you," she explained with a slight hint of panic in her voice. "You were sleeping in the room next to mine and I missed you. We've been apart for less than two hours and I missed you."

He pulled her close and kissed her passionately. "Relax," he whispered. "I missed you too." He grabbed her hand and entwined their fingers.

He sounded so sincere and his eyes were so soft. She knew that it was time to reveal some of her insecurities. "As long as we're sleeping together, I don't want you seeing other women."

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "I wasn't planning on seeing other women. I don't want to see other women."

"Are you sure?" She asked shakily.

"Yes I'm sure," he confirmed. "And I don't want you seeing other guys either." She rolled her eyes and he added, "Please don't say something self-deprecating right now." He hated how low her self-esteem appeared sometimes. "Men notice you." He saw men checking her out all the time; she just didn't seem to notice. "Luckily, I'm just the only one who knows how sexy you really are."

"Sexy?" She repeated with a small laugh. That was not a word she was used to hearing in reference to her.

Jackson grinned as he repositioned himself so that he was holding his body above her, his weight braced on his forearms. He wanted to see that confidence again. "The way that you took control last night was very sexy." He saw her lips start to curve into a small smile so he continued. "Your body is sexy." He bent down to kiss her and she ran her hands down the flexing muscles of his back. She wrapped her calves around his and rolled them over so that she was on top of him. His head hit the pillow and he grinned as he watched her straddle his waist and pull her t-shirt swiftly over her head. She leaned forward to kiss him and enthusiastically gripped his face.

There was the confidence he was looking for.

He sat up and placed his hands in the small of her back as he kissed the base of her neck. "And when you're confident like this…really sexy."

She guided his mouth back to hers for a fervent kiss. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip and she moaned. She shifted her hips against his and felt him large and hard beneath her. "Jackson," she gasped. "Take off your boxers."

He stopped kissing her jaw line and looked up at her in surprise. "Aren't you sore? We don't have to have sex. We can do other stuff."

"Jackson, it's okay," she smiled.

He found her hard to say no to; especially when her voice deepened and she looked at him like that. He kissed her as he gripped her sides and gently pushed her onto her back. She quickly pushed his boxers down and he grinned at her eagerness. He placed kisses from her chin down to her navel as he slowly lowered her shorts and panties.

April groped in the dark for the condoms that Jackson had returned to his room earlier. She finally found the handle of the top drawer of his bedside table and pulled it open. She squealed and dropped the condom that she had managed to get a hold of when Jackson simultaneously tickled the inside of her thigh and playfully nipped the top of her breast.

He laughed gruffly at her reaction and kissed her softly on the lips. He enjoyed teasing her like that; he liked to see her loosen up a bit. April was high-strung, a type A personality, and being the Chief Resident stressed her out. She needed to relax more often and she seemed to do so around him at least.

Jackson continued to tease her with foreplay until she finally pushed the condom into his hand impatiently. He chuckled as he took it from her and slipped it on. She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around his waist as he slowly pushed into her.

She felt incredible, tight and warm, and just perfect. He grazed his nose against hers and stared into her eyes. "You okay?" He whispered.

He sounded so tender that it almost hurt. She hummed in the affirmative and ran a hand down the side of his face. Her fingers played along his masculine, defined features as if she was trying to commit them to memory. "Yeah, I'm great." And this time she meant it.

His eyes never left hers the entire time they were connected. They had a powerful, unspoken conversation.

They were best friends.

They were exclusively sleeping together.

They missed each other when they weren't together.

They were two people who were afraid to express the depth of their feelings out loud.

He made love to her slowly. He took his time and he worshipped her.

When she fell over the edge, she wrapped her legs tightly around him and gripped his biceps. Her actions triggered his own orgasm and he carefully let himself collapse on top of her. She tilted her head back and exposed the full length of her neck to him. Her eyes slipped closed as he placed lazy kisses down her neck and she let out the satisfied, breathless laugh that he was starting to love.

"God Jackson," she panted. "That was…" She paused and laughed again.

He chuckled into the crook of her neck. "Tell me about it."

"I don't think I can feel my feet," she laughed.

He laughed along with her loudly and after a long kiss, he slowly moved off of her to lie on his back. He removed the condom and tossed it into his nearby trashcan. He turned his head to look at her and said, "We're good together." All traces of laughter were gone and he was being completely serious.

"Yeah," she swallowed. "We are." His eyes were dark and intense, and his expression was earnest. This experience differed greatly from last night when they had laid in bed together. Neither of them was leaving and she was not freaking out, in fact she felt perfectly at ease. She rolled into his side and rested her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her side. She sighed in contentment before she drifted off to sleep.

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**A/N: This story works better in a world that realizes how awesome April is, so she passed. Lol. Leave me your thoughts!**


	3. It's New

**A/N: A big thank you to everyone who is supporting this story! I love all of your reviews! Enjoy the update :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual!**

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**Chapter 3 – It's New**

Jackson awoke the next morning before his alarm sounded and smiled at the woman sleeping beside him. April was sound asleep on her stomach with the bed sheets pooled at her waist. Her arms were beneath the pillow and her head was turned towards him. It was odd for him to be awake before her. Maybe he had worn her out, he thought smugly.

She looked peaceful. She was absolutely beautiful and while she was sleeping, he had an uninterrupted chance to just stare at her. Her skin was gorgeous; pale, soft and flawless. Her eyelashes were incredibly long and he liked the way they felt against his skin. He knew that he could go on and on about her every feature…her auburn hair, her lips…pretty much every inch of her body. She even had cute feet.

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him sleepily. "What are you doing?"

"Admiring how beautiful you are," he answered honestly.

She blushed. "Jeez Jackson, at least wait until I'm fully awake."

"What?" He laughed.

"You can't say things like that to a girl first thing in the morning," she yawned.

"Well," he chuckled as he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her shoulder. "I figured if you weren't fully alert then you wouldn't be able to argue with me. You don't hear it enough," he said sincerely.

He continued to kiss down her naked back and she giggled. "Jackson, what time is it?"

He raised his head to check the time on his bedside clock. "Six thirty."

She groaned and rolled over onto her back. Jackson took advantage of her new position to kiss her on the lips. "I have to get in the shower," she said regretfully.

"Fifteen more minutes," he bargained. He moved onto his side and pulled her back against his chest. He hauled the bed sheets up before he wrapped an arm securely around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Just lie with me for fifteen more minutes."

She was silent for a moment before she laughed. "Jackson, are we…cuddling?"

"Yeah," he answered slowly. He was a tad puzzled. "Do you not like to cuddle?" In his experience, women loved to cuddle so he assumed that April would as well. She was girly, feminine.

"I don't know. I've never cuddled with a guy before."

"Really? You don't have to have sex to cuddle. What kind of guys have you been dating Kepner?" He asked teasingly.

"Ones who don't cuddle apparently," she laughed.

When the fifteen minutes passed and she realized that she didn't have anymore time to waste, she got out of the bed. As much as she was beginning to enjoy lying in Jackson's arms, she needed to be in the shower before Alex woke up. Their roommate catching them together before they were ready to tell him was not a desirable situation. She dressed in her clothes from the night before and had her hand on the doorknob when she turned around and smiled. She walked back to the bed and placed a hand on his face as she leaned down to kiss him. "I've decided that I like to cuddle," she smiled.

Jackson grinned broadly at her retreating form.

April stepped out into the hallway and looked around. The apartment was quiet and Alex's bedroom door was shut.

She showered, dressed, and readied herself for the day. She entered the kitchen to find Jackson and Alex at the table eating their bowls of cereal. "Good morning," she greeted pleasantly. Jackson replied as he read the morning newspaper while Alex grunted in response. He looked significantly worse for wear. She joined them at the table with a cup of coffee and placed the mug in front of Alex. "You look like you could use this."

"Thanks," he muttered.

"He closed down Joe's last night," Jackson grinned.

April laughed and promptly teased their companion. Jackson looked at her over the top of the newspaper and smiled at the way her eyes sparkled and her red curls bounced. Even when they were just friends, he had always thought that she had the prettiest smile, and when she genuinely laughed she looked gorgeous. His eyes returned to the paper and he frowned to himself as he absentmindedly stirred his spoon in his bowl of cereal. He hadn't considered how difficult it was going to be to keep how he felt about her a secret. He was not the kind of guy who kept a girl he cared about a secret.

* * *

Congratulations were flying around Seattle Grace Mercy West when the fifth year residents arrived for rounds. The attendings were swelling with pride at the news that their students had passed the Boards. However, as happy as they were, they were now on edge about the possibility of their babies leaving the nest for jobs at other hospitals. This level of concern was not present amongst the newly Board certified surgeons. They were smiling, carefree, and more efficient at their jobs than ever before. Word was also spreading throughout the hospital that there was going to be a party to celebrate at Meredith Grey's house.

Jackson leaned against the nurses' station and smiled as he watched April arrange the OR board for the day.

"Good morning, Dr. Kepner," he whispered as he snuck up behind her.

She jumped at the sound of his voice so close to her ear and spun around to face him. "Don't scare me like that," she chastised as she placed a hand on her chest. Despite her warning, she was smiling at him.

He grinned, "I apologize. Are you going to Meredith's tonight?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "It should be fun. Also, the Boards results are released to programs today. Hospitals might start fighting over us," she stated excitedly.

He found her enthusiasm contagious and was now looking forward to programs potentially making him crazy offers because they wanted him so badly. And to make things even better, the programs that wanted him didn't want him because he was Harper Avery's grandson. They wanted him because he was a great plastic surgeon and a charming guy.

"Avery!"

They both turned at the call of his name and saw Mark Sloan walking down the hallway.

"I'll see you later," April told him before she walked off.

"See ya," he smiled brightly. He watched April until she was out of sight and turned back around in time to greet his attending. "Good morning Dr. Sloan."

Sloan didn't respond right away. Instead, he embraced the younger man. Jackson chuckled awkwardly and eventually returned the man's hug.

"Congratulations Avery."

"Thank you, sir."

Sloan finally pulled back but held his protégée by the shoulders as he took a good look at him. He raised an eyebrow in question as he observed Avery's bright, uncontrollable smile. "Why are you so happy?" He asked suspiciously.

"I passed my Boards; I'm not allowed to be happy?" Jackson asked with a laugh.

"No, you are," Sloan answered slowly. "But that smile looks an awful lot like the kind that can only be caused by a woman. Have you been holding out on me Avery?"

Jackson laughed lightly. It was impossible to keep anything from Sloan, the older man read him very well. "It's new but it's great." He had to give something away or otherwise Sloan would question him at every opportunity.

"Anyone I know?" Sloan asked nosily. Jackson just smiled and didn't give any indication either way. "Fine." He sighed before he lowered his voice, "Is the sex good at least?"

"Best I've ever had."

Sloan smiled in satisfaction. "Atta boy," he said as he clapped the younger man on the shoulder before walking away.

* * *

The party at Meredith's house was everything the celebrating fifth year residents had hoped it would be. There was tequila, vodka, whiskey, rum, and tonnes of beer. The alcohol was flowing freely, the music was loud, and residents from every department were present. As April had predicted, some people had already received phone calls from competitive hospitals willing to raise the stakes. The most significant development so far was that Mayo was willing to offer Cristina a research lab.

Jackson sipped his rum and Coke and laughed to himself as he kept an eye on April from across the room. She was dancing on top of the sofa with Meredith and Cristina, something she never would have done this time last year.

"Kepner is wasted," Alex commented at his side.

And it was true. Jackson had seen her drunk before, she was a giggly and adorable drunk, but he had never seen her like this. It was interesting to see a different side of her and he realized that she was really starting to let loose in a variety of ways. "We're going to have to carry her home at this rate," he replied.

Alex scoffed, "You can do the honours, dude."

Jackson smirked to himself; he would gladly bring his drunken girlfriend home. He stilled and his drink stopped just before it reached his lips. He had just inwardly referred to April as his girlfriend and he liked the sound of it…a lot. He really hoped that she would too.

His eyes tracked April as she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and hopped off of the couch. She stared down at her phone as she disappeared from the crowded living room. He followed her and found her alone in the kitchen, leaning against the island.

"Important phone call?"

She shook her head. "No, it's a text from my sister."

"Which one?" He chuckled as he moved to stand in front of her.

"Ali," she answered. She replied to her sister's text and stuffed her phone back in her pocket. "Just congratulating me on my Boards."

April had a big family that she was close to and he was able to remember most of what she had told him over the years. He knew that Ali was short for Alice and that she was the youngest of the Kepner girls. He already knew a lot about her and her family but he wanted to know everything. He smiled down at her and recognized that he had to tell her what had struck him earlier.

"So, I realized what we're doing. We're dating," he declared with a grin. "I think of you as my girlfriend."

"Dating. Girlfriend," she repeated with a giggle. "I like that." She laid her empty beer bottle on the island counter before placing both of her hands on his chest. "It's actually distracting how attractive you are." He even looked sexy now and he was wearing a simple grey sweater and dark blue jeans.

He laughed, "You are really drunk."

She didn't hear his comment so her train of thought continued. "Your eyes are so sexy. I couldn't stop thinking about you and your eyes all day."

Inebriated April was always entertaining but he was really enjoying this. "Oh really? Anything in particular?" He probed. He watched her blush and he knew right away that he wanted to hear whatever she was thinking. He finished his drink and placed the empty glass on the counter behind her before hooking his thumbs through the belt loops of her jeans and pulling her to him. "What is it?" He coaxed.

She raised her head and met his penetrating gaze. "I was thinking about kissing you." She ran her hands down his chest until they settled on his belt. "Everywhere."

He simply stared at her as her mouth curved into a mischievous grin. Before him, April had been a virgin in every sense of the word and they had had sex, amazing sex, several times now but they hadn't engaged in oral sex. He didn't want to bring it up like an asshole because the last thing that he wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable. But now she was bringing it up…

"Jackson."

His name from her lips brought him out of his thoughts. "Yeah?"

"Take me home," she breathed.

He was not about to argue with her. "I'll meet you in the porch. I just gotta tell Alex that we're leaving."

He rushed out of the kitchen and back to the living room where he quickly found Alex chatting with a blonde ortho resident. "Hey man," he started as he did his best to sound disappointed. "I'm going to take April home. She's really drunk."

Alex gave him a pitying look. "Sorry dude."

Jackson shrugged, "Its okay." He sent Alex a small wave and then quickly turned around so that a boyish smirk could finally erupt on his face.

* * *

April slowly kissed her way up Jackson's torso as he caught his breath beneath her. She had never done that before but she was glad she had given it a try. It hadn't been as…unpleasant…as she had imagined. She found it to be strangely empowering, and she liked selflessly pleasuring Jackson. It didn't hurt that he was physical perfection. She placed a kiss on his chin and smiled. "Was that okay?" She asked timidly. She was still fairly drunk but it was impossible not to be a little shy in this situation.

Jackson smiled weakly. "Um…yeah," he panted.

He tenderly pushed her hair out of her face but he was unwilling to make eye contact with her and it was obvious that his smile was forced. She blushed and started to panic. She climbed off of him and scurried off of his bed. Realizing that she was in only her underwear, she immediately searched for her clothes. She grabbed her jeans off of the floor and quickly pulled them on.

Now she remembered why she had needed to be really drunk to do that for the first time. "This is so embarrassing," she muttered as she pulled up her zipper.

"April, what are you doing?" He asked in confusion as he sat up. "Where are you going? What's wrong?"

"I'm going to my room. I'm embarrassed, Jackson! Being bad at _that_ is embarrassing!"

"What? April, it wasn't bad," he argued quickly.

"Yeah," she said sarcastically. "That's why you couldn't look at me just now." She finally spotted her shirt underneath his sweater and angrily snatched it up before heading for the door. She was wearing a bra and jeans but she was embarrassed, frustrated, and drunk, and therefore, she couldn't care less if she ran into Alex Karev in the hallway.

Jackson jumped to his feet and grabbed her by the waist before she could leave. "Just wait a second," he whispered as she fought against his grip. She was strong for her size; he had learned that trying to hold her back from kicking that guy's ass in San Francisco. She was strong and feisty when she wanted to be. He ran a hand seductively down her stomach and his fingers played with the top button of her jeans. "It wasn't bad. In fact, it was really, really good. I was just a little surprised," he told her honestly.

She relaxed marginally and tilted her head to look at him. "Surprised?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, well, you were a virgin so I guess, I dunno, expected there to be a bigger learning curve or something," he explained inelegantly.

"I'm a doctor Jackson," she laughed quietly. "I understand the human body. Besides, I've had a lot of time to read on the subject."

He instantly felt like the world's biggest idiot. For a brief moment he had considered the possibility that April had lied to him about her celibacy, which was absolutely absurd. She was a well studied, fast learner; he guessed that was a perk of dating a perfectionist. He kissed her neck and tightened his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry, you're incredible, and I'm naked. Let me make it up to you."

She turned and smirked at him. "This better be good, Avery."

He grinned back at her as he took her by the waist and tossed her onto his mattress. She laughed as he covered her body with his and quickly captured her lips.

* * *

**A/N: Leave your thoughts please! :)**


	4. I Want To Take You Out

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 4 – I Want To Take You Out**

For the next two days, Jackson and April continued to spend whatever time they could together. It was hard being around each other at the hospital, where everyone had no idea that they were a couple, but they didn't act any differently around each other. At home, they spent most of their time in the privacy of Jackson's bedroom. Alex seemed very preoccupied with his own life and didn't notice anything going on between his roommates.

They spent the majority of their time talking, going over everything that they possibly didn't know about each other. They had known each other for five years. Even when they were just friends, April had never been closer to a member of the opposite sex and Jackson had spent more time with her than any girlfriend he ever had. They already knew a great deal of personal information but now they were discovering so much more. They extensively discussed childhood, hometowns, college, med school, and anything else that had happened before they had met as interns. April talked about the farm and her large family. Jackson shared embarrassing teenage stories. They spent hours talking about the most frivolous things, even things they had talked about before like what she enjoyed to cook, the kind of music he listened to, her favourite books, and his sports obsessions.

Neither of them had expected the transition from best friends to lovers to be so seamless. But it was easy. Effortless.

April loved being with a man that already understood her so well. He already knew that she could be a little eccentric…a little emotional…a little crazy. She didn't have to hide anything from him and it took a lot of the pressure off. Her older sister, Libby, had always told her that nothing was better than falling in love with your best friend but the idea had seemed so unromantic to April. Until Jackson.

She cuddled into Jackson's side and lazily trailed a finger down his chest. She smiled as he ran a hand through her hair. It was early in the morning, too early for even her to get up, but they were both awake and he was spoiling her with all the cuddling they were doing lately. She loved the warmth from his body, the way he smelled, and the way his fingers ran through her hair and played across her skin.

"Can I ask you something?" Jackson began tentatively.

"Sure," she answered quickly.

"I've been thinking about it for a while and I'm just wondering…why you never told any of us how you feel…about God?" He really had been pondering that question for a while and he was curious, if not a little hurt. He had always thought that she told him everything and it seemed like a big secret to keep.

She scoffed, "Come on Jackson, people already make fun of me enough, why give them that?"

He frowned. "What makes you think people would make fun of you?"

She looked up at him and raised her eyebrows as if to say, 'Are you serious?'

"Okay," he conceded. He could easily imagine Yang and Karev being all over her for being religious. "Did you ever tell Reed?"

She shook her head. "No," she answered quietly. "It's always been private, personal. I'm a doctor, I know that I'm supposed to believe in science and facts but I find it hard to do what we do without believing that there's a higher power. I grew up with God, it's comfortable, reliable, and for me, believing in God makes seeing death everyday a little easier." And she had never been the most popular or well-liked person; at least God had never given up on her or singled her out. "But I know a lot of people think it's weird—"

"April," he cut her off. He tilted her chin up and kissed her softly on the lips. "I think it's cool."

She grinned at his word choice. "Cool?"

He chuckled before he kissed her again. "Yeah, cool." He stroked her cheek as he said seriously, "And just for the record, you can tell me anything."

"I know," she replied happily. She trusted him more than she had ever trusted anyone. She moved her hand up to cradle his face as she kissed him. She swung her leg over his hips and slowly shifted on top of him.

She had really come to terms with her faith since revealing it to Jackson in San Francisco, especially the guilt that had surrounded her after she had lost her virginity. At first, she had been devastated by the reality that she wasn't going to be a virgin on her wedding night because it had been what she had imagined since she was a teenager. However, she was an adult now and she was not ruining her relationship with God by physically expressing her feelings for Jackson. It was beautiful.

They continued to kiss as he slipped his hands underneath her worn out college t-shirt.

"I want to take you out tonight," he spoke against her lips.

She pulled back and looked down at him with a slightly surprised smile. "You want to take me out?"

"Yeah, I want to take you out. We've never been on a date. We should go on a date." He really wanted to take her out somewhere nice and public. All they did was work and lay on his bed…not that he didn't enjoy what they did on his bed…he just really wanted to take her out on a date. She had gone on some pretty terrible dates over the past year and that really didn't sit well with him.

"You don't have to," she said softly. He was being incredibly sweet but he didn't have to do anything special for her. She was content with ordering a pizza, drinking beer, and watching TV, even if Alex Karev would be present the whole time.

"I want to," he declared firmly as he caressed the skin of her back. He was adamant about this; she was not going to talk him out of it.

"Well, what do you have in mind?" She asked curiously. The idea of going on a date with Jackson was appealing to her more and more with each passing second.

"We could go see a movie, or we could go dancing," he proposed with a grin.

"You know how to dance?" She asked incredulously. "Like really dance? Not just grind on a woman?" She teased.

"First," he grinned, "I'm offended by that. Second, I'm an Avery—"

"You know these things," she finished with a roll of her eyes.

"Exactly!" He smiled as he playfully squeezed her waist. "Or we could go to some fancy restaurant."

"I'd love to go out with you," she chirped. "You pick and just let me know so that I can dress appropriately."

"Wear a dress," he replied without a thought. "I want to see you in a dress."

* * *

During his lunch hour, Jackson texted April to tell her that he had made a dinner reservation for eight o'clock. But he had one last thing to take care of before he allowed himself to get excited.

He sat down at a cafeteria table next to Karev and began to pick at his tray of food. Cristina and Meredith were also sitting at the table. April was stuck in the OR and Lexie was buried under research material for Shepherd.

"Hey man," he said to Alex. "I need you to do me a favour."

Alex didn't tear his eyes away from his fries. "Depends on what it is?"

"I need you stay clear of the apartment tonight until midnight or so."

Cristina looked at him slyly. "Having a lady over Avery?"

He ignored her and focused on Alex. "Please," he pleaded.

"She must be something special," Meredith laughed. "You're begging."

"Who is it?" Cristina probed. "Does she work here?"

"Nobody that you know," Jackson answered quickly. And in a way he wasn't lying, he saw a completely different side of April than they did.

Alex sighed before finally relenting. "Fine, but the next time we're at Joe's you're buying my drinks for the night."

"Done!" Jackson smiled triumphantly. Paying Karev's tab for a night was a small price to pay for a little privacy.

"What about Kepner? I'm assuming that she's banished too. What's she doing tonight?" Alex questioned curiously.

"I think she's going to the movies or something," Jackson lied smoothly.

* * *

"April, are you ready?" Jackson called out as he entered the apartment. He had decided to leave while she got ready, he didn't want to ruin the surprise, and he sort of wanted to create the feeling that he was picking her up. Also, he had gone out to buy flowers. He was trying to be romantic and he had never tried this hard for a girl before. Not even Lexie.

Fortunately, Karev had kept his word and hadn't entered their apartment so far this evening.

"Yeah!" She yelled from her bedroom. "I'm just putting on my shoes."

She finally stepped out into the hallway and his mouth dropped open. "Whoa."

She looked absolutely stunning. She was wearing a knee-length, black dress that tied around her neck with black, strappy heels. Her red hair was curled and swept up into an elegant bun except for a few strands that framed her face. Her makeup was subtle but breathtaking.

She didn't seem to notice his blatant staring so she walked towards him with a smile. "You brought me flowers."

"I did." He handed her the bouquet of lilacs, her favourite. He had thought of some witty first date lines to make her laugh but they had all slipped his mind upon seeing her. "You look gorgeous," he finally said.

Blush tinged her cheeks as she answered, "Thank you. So do you." She smoothed down the lapels of his jacket with her free hand as she slowly looked him up and down. He was wearing a black suit, a white shirt, and a blue tie. The tie really brought out the blue in his eyes and Jackson really was built to wear a suit.

He groaned as he watched her eyes rove over him. "Okay, we gotta get out of here now or you're never going to leave my bedroom."

She giggled but could tell that he was being completely serious. "Just let me put these flowers in my room!" She actually ran to and from her bedroom and Jackson was waiting in the porch with her coat. "Okay," she smiled, "let's have dinner."

* * *

Jackson waited patiently on the doorstep as April found the keys to their apartment in her purse. Dinner had been wonderful, and expensive, and everything that he had wanted her to experience. The food and the wine had been heavenly, and conversation had flowed as easily as it always did between them. He was glad that the label of "the first date" hadn't put her on edge. She had been happy and comfortable. But the entire evening, in the back of Jackson's mind, he had been thinking about getting her out of that dress.

He'd had a hard time not thinking about her graceful, exposed neck, or how long her legs looked in those heels, or how she had the best cleavage he had ever seen. He had been imagining untying her dress, pulling her hair out of its bun, and…

"Thank you so much for dinner," she gushed as they stepped inside their home. "I had a lovely time but I still feel guilty that you paid for everything when—"

He cut off what he sensed was going to be a lengthy ramble with a passionate kiss. He swept her up into his arms and she squealed in surprise. On reflex, she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. He had already started to carry her down the hallway towards his bedroom.

"Jackson!"

He blindly kicked his door open as he kissed down her neck. "Dinner was excruciating," he murmured. "The next time that you look like this we're_ not_ leaving the apartment."

She grinned teasingly, "I thought it was good foreplay."

He growled in her ear and playfully bit down on her earlobe. She dropped her purse on his bedroom floor before he deposited her on the bed. She hastily removed her jacket and tossed it aside while he carelessly kicked off his dress shoes. He devoured her mouth and pushed her into the mattress with the perfect amount of force.

They were chest to chest and their hips were aligned. "Jackson," she moaned as she pulled away to catch her breath.

He kissed along the neckline of her dress as one of his hands slid along her thigh, underneath the dress. He had never wanted anyone like he wanted her. He couldn't stop touching her and he couldn't kiss her often enough. She began to push his suit jacket off his shoulders and they both sat up to make the process easier.

She was feeling a little lightheaded from the wine and his touch, and she felt an earth shattering sentiment on the tip of her tongue. But she was scared to say it. They both needed to be ready to hear it aloud and she wasn't sure if either of them were. Obviously, she loved him as a friend. She loved being with him. She was pretty sure that she was in love with him but she wanted to be _absolutely sure_ before she told him.

He gently held her face in his large hands and brought her back into the moment. "April? Are you okay?"

"Sorry," she smiled. When she spoke again she settled on something a little less daunting. "I was just thinking about how much I care about you." She started to slowly loosen his tie. "Make love to me Jackson," she whispered softly.

He pulled her into his chest and kissed her in reply. Whatever she was feeling, he felt too, and possibly more.

After removing his shirt, she gripped the back of his neck and guided him back down on top of her. He kissed her slowly, his tongue exploring her mouth, as his fingers worked on the knot of her dress. The garment slipped down to her waist and he caressed an uncovered breast. His mouth dropped to her other breast and she arched her back into him. He kissed, licked, and nipped practically every inch of her chest before he slipped her dress down over her hips. He carefully removed the dress that he was now very fond of and unhurriedly took off her shoes.

He watched her chest flush and her breathing intensify as he slowly peeled her black, cotton panties from her body. He smirked mischievously and chuckled when April shyly bit down on her bottom lip. He thought that it was adorable that she always got a little flustered before he went down on her. The first time, he had to actually persuade her to let him do it; she had held her knees together. She had been embarrassed and he had found it impossibly endearing. Once he had finally convinced her to relax, it had been more than an enjoyable experience for the both of them.

He settled between her legs and pressed a kiss to her center. She squirmed beneath him and he grinned as he held her hips to keep her still. It didn't take very long for her to call out his name and dig her heels into the mattress. She was incredibly sensitive.

As she recovered, he languidly kissed his way up her body. He found the spot on her neck that drove her crazy and her satisfied, breathless laugh turned into a low moan.

She pulled his mouth away from her neck and kissed him hungrily. "Jackson, I want you inside me."

He loved it when she said things like that. She chuckled and he immediately realized that he had said that out loud. He was going to apologize but she rolled them over so that she had the upper hand and deftly unbuckled his belt. She impatiently tugged down his pants and boxers and he kicked them off the rest of the way.

She ran her warm hand along his length and his breath hitched. "April, wait a second," he panted.

She understood why he was pausing so she gracelessly flopped onto her back on the other side of the bed. She attempted to catch her breath as she watched how his body moved as he retrieved a condom from the bedside table. The muscles of his back and shoulders flexed beautifully and he had the cutest butt. She closed her eyes for a moment to regroup and when she opened them, Jackson's face was hovering above hers, grinning boyishly. She kissed him and rolled them over so that she was on top once again, straddling him.

He sat up and removed the clips that held up her hair. Her red curls tumbled down over her shoulders as she lowered her body down onto his. He threaded his fingers through her silky hair and couldn't contain his slightly smug grin when she bit down on her bottom lip and whimpered.

"How does that feel?" He whispered.

She chuckled at the cocky tone to his voice and ran her hands over his chest and around to his back. "Really, really good." Everything regarding sex was still very new to her and she both loved and hated that Jackson Avery was good at _everything_. "Kiss me," she sighed.

He quickly obliged as he slipped a hand between their joined bodies. She moaned into his mouth and quickened the pace of her movement. She eventually switched tactics and began to kiss his neck. He spoke her name through gritted teeth and firmly grasped her hip with his free hand. A woman had never had the power over him that April did, and he had been with some pretty incredible women. It was like he was in a constant state of frenzy around her, physically, mentally, and emotionally. He watched her every move. It was involuntary. His eyes followed her wherever she went because of lust and protective instinct and…

He vividly remembered what April had said to Lexie about Sloan's staring.

"_He loves you! That's why he stares at you! Because he can't keep his eyes off the woman he loves!" _

He loved her. He needed her. But he couldn't say it right before they were both about to climax; she would think that he got swept up in the moment and the hormones.

"Jackson." She moaned his name loudly at the moment when her body tightened around his. She felt the familiar tingling in her belly and extremities and she smiled before kissing him slowly.

In the afterglow, Jackson held April and softly caressed her sides while kissing her shoulder. She was so amazing and she didn't even see it. A smile graced his face as she breathlessly laughed into his ear and continued to run her hands along his back.

"Well," he began with a small chuckle, "I don't know about you, but this is the best first date I've ever been on."

She was silent for a second before she buried her face in the crook of his neck and let laughter overwhelm her.

* * *

**A/N: I hope that I've done the religion issue justice so far. Leave me your thoughts! :)**


	5. Good Job Solider

**A/N: A big thank you to everyone who is following this story! Enjoy the update :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual!**

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Good Job Solider**

Jackson awoke the next morning, alone, and slowly got up out of bed. He pulled a pair of pyjama pants over his boxers before he padded out to the kitchen. He grabbed a mug of coffee and took his first sip as he leaned against the counter. He could hear the shower running. He assumed it was April since his bed had been empty, the coffee was ready, and Alex slept in the latest of the three of them.

His eyes widened in surprise as a strange brunette wandered into the kitchen. "Um, good morning," he greeted awkwardly.

She smiled, "Hey. Can I have a cup?" She asked as she gestured towards the coffee pot.

"Sure." He grabbed another mug out of the cupboard and handed it to her.

It was hard to miss the way her eyes roamed over his naked torso.

"So," she smirked, "you must be Jackson."

"I am," he nodded. He was used to interacting with Alex's one night stands but they usually didn't talk, or check him out, this much.

"Alex and I didn't get back until almost two last night and you were still…_entertaining_. A stallion."

Jackson choked on coffee and spluttered nonsensical words. Luckily for him, April walked into the kitchen before Alex's latest conquest had a chance to further comment on his sex life. She was fresh out of the shower and wearing her fluffy, pink bathrobe.

"Good morning," she said in a pleasant voice. She tried to ignore the stranger in her kitchen, the less she interacted with Alex's skanks the less she yelled at him, but Jackson was giving her an alarmed look. She frowned at him before she looked at the woman standing next to him. This woman was making no effort to hide the fact that she was staring at Jackson's body. She laughed a little to herself at first, women usually didn't scare Jackson or make him uncomfortable, but then her jealous side kicked in. She sidled up to him and possessively placed a hand on his abs. "Morning baby," she cooed before standing on the tips of her toes to give him a kiss.

Alex's hook-up chuckled before finishing her coffee. "Well thanks for the coffee. I should get going." She placed her empty mug in the sink and strolled out of their apartment.

April screwed up her face in displeasure before she stepped away from Jackson and towards the refrigerator.

"Baby?" He repeated with a laugh.

She shrugged while grabbing the carton of orange juice. "It got the point across. You look too pretty without a shirt on."

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and whispered, "Feel free to say it anytime." He kind of liked the use of the pet name. He placed his hand under her chin and tilted her head so that he could kiss her good morning properly.

She tore herself away from his mouth and gently pushed on his chest. "Alex will be up soon."

He scratched the back of his head as he watched her pour herself a glass of orange juice. "Do you want to tell him that we're dating?" He asked tentatively.

"Um…is it okay if we wait a little longer?"

She turned around and he could see how uneasy she looked. He could understand why she still wanted to keep their relationship a secret…the gossip, the teasing, the prodding…but he knew that he wouldn't be able to wait much longer. Making it public made it that much more serious and they both knew that. "Okay," he conceded, "just a little longer."

She returned to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She placed a kiss on his bare chest and smiled. "Thank you."

* * *

Owen Hunt was less than thrilled about beginning their morning staff meeting. This was the staff meeting that the attendings had been dreading all year. It was time to discuss every one of their fifth year residents and assess their options for next year. Some were leaving, some were staying, and some were undecided. All of their names were written on a whiteboard with either a 'x', a checkmark, or a question mark along with the other programs that had extended them job offers.

He sighed as they finally reached the five residents that he absolutely did not want to see leave his hospital.

"Where are we with Avery?" He began.

Mark Sloan spoke up immediately. "Still holding offers from Penn, USC, Emery, and Tulane. Emery and Tulane are in love, they want him bad, but he's up in the air."

Hunt scribbled the names of the programs on the whiteboard and put a question mark next to Avery's name. "What about Grey?"

"Between Boston and Seattle," Derek Shepherd answered.

Hunt sighed once again. It was possible that he was going to lose a talented resident and his top neuro surgeon. "Yang?" There was an awkward silence as most of the attendings present expected him, as her husband, to be able to provide insight into where she was going to be next year.

Thankfully, Teddy Altman responded. "Stanford and Columbia are playing hardball. Mayo is back in the mix but I'm confident that we're still in it as well."

"Well Karev is staying," Arizona Robbins chimed in cheerfully.

Hunt nodded; at least that was good news.

"What about Kepner?" Callie Torres asked curiously.

"She has offers from Case Western Reserve, UVA, Mount Sinai, and University of California, Irvine. But Dr. Webber and I both received interesting phone calls inquiring about her this morning."

* * *

"Nice work Avery!" Sloan said proudly as his plastics protégée finished his last suture.

"Thank you, sir," he responded.

Today, he and Sloan were working with Karev and Robbins on a toddler's facial nerve repair.

"What did I tell you Avery?" Sloan murmured. "You work better when you're getting laid. How was your hot date last night?"

"How do you know about that?" Jackson asked surprised.

"Word spreads," the attending answered simply.

Jackson looked over the operating table at Karev. "Thanks," he said sarcastically.

"Hey, I was a good roommate last night, a good friend. I stayed out until almost two so that you could bring this mysterious girl home and get some and when I get home, you're still going at!" Karev complained.

It was obvious that Sloan was grinning beneath his mask and Arizona rolled her eyes. She was not getting involved in this conversation.

"Some of us have surgeries in the morning," Karev muttered angrily.

"Yet you still managed to bring someone home last night," Jackson quipped. And he was not about to apologize for having sex three times last night.

Arizona laughed despite herself before concentrating on her work once again.

Karev offered his standard response. "Whatever. If you have her over again, tell her to keep it down. She's a screamer."

* * *

Hunt walked into the pit and spotted April charting at the ER's main nurses' station. He sighed in regret but he was the one who had to tell her. He was her teacher, he was the Chief of Surgery, and it was his responsibility. He walked up to her. "Kepner?"

"Yes, Chief?" She answered cheerily.

"I need to talk to you for a second."

She stared at him in confusion. "Okay…"

He pulled her into a nearby, empty trauma room and closed the door. "Harper Avery is on a plane right now and he's coming here."

"Um, okay," she answered lamely. She was still confused. She wasn't sure why Dr. Hunt felt the need to pull her aside to tell her something like that.

Hunt continued, "He wants to talk to you."

"Um," she stammered. She looked around the room as she tried to piece everything together. Her first irrational thought was that Jackson's grandfather had somehow found out that they were together and he wanted to talk to her about that, but that didn't make one shred of sense. "Chief, I'm confused. Why does Harper Avery want to talk to me?"

"He wants to offer you a trauma fellowship at Mass Gen."

Her mouth dropped open in shock. "What?" That didn't make any sense either. Hospitals had already conducted interviews and made offers. It was set in stone. She already had five great offers, she hadn't been expecting any more. Yes, she had passed her Boards, but she had pretty much had a meltdown during her second session so she hadn't impressed anyone there. She had no idea why Massachusetts General Hospital would be interested in her at this late stage. It was the best hospital in the country.

"Kepner?" Hunt called to pull her out of her stunned stupor.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, sir. It's just that this doesn't make any sense."

He gave her a wry smile. "You're an impressive surgeon, of course it makes sense." He reached for the door but he turned back at the last minute. "Good job soldier."

She finally smiled. "Thanks Chief."

Dr. Hunt left and April stood in the trauma room alone. She could have stayed there for seconds, minutes, or hours, she wasn't sure. She was still shocked. Fellowships at Mass Gen were something that residents all over the country dreamed about. It was the pinnacle. It was unbelievable. She never thought in a million years that a hospital like that would want her.

When she finally exited the room, the first person that she encountered was Alex.

He smiled broadly and held out his hands in excitement. "Hopkins wants me!"

She smiled back and all of her happiness and astonishment spilled out. "Mass Gen wants me!"

He pulled her into a hug and even lifted her off of her feet.

On the other side of the pit, Dr. Webber watched the two fifth years interact. He had taken both of the calls from Harper Avery and Keith Collier and he had been surprised but incredibly proud and pleased. In a resident year that had an Avery, a Grey, and someone as brilliant as Cristina Yang, Kepner and Karev had emerged as the cream of the crop. He smiled to himself as he returned to his patient's chart. He had always had a thing for the underdog.

* * *

Jackson grabbed his patient's chart from the nurses' station and headed down the hall to check on her post-op. He stopped in his tracks when he heard a familiar voice call his name.

"Jackson!"

His entire body froze and he almost dropped the chart he was holding. He turned around slowly and stared at the person approaching him. "Grandpa?"

His grandfather smiled and pulled him into a hug as soon as he reached him. Jackson was stunned to say the least. The very last person that he had expected to see today was his grandfather who lived on the other side of the country. He didn't enjoy the awe and adoration that accompanied his grandfather's name and he knew that the hospital would be in an uproar as soon as people heard that he was here.

"Congratulations on your Boards!"

"Thank you," he spluttered.

"Have you chosen a program yet?" His grandfather questioned curiously.

"Um, no, I'm keeping my options open. Why are you here?" Jackson finally asked what was really on his mind. He was happy to see his grandfather, their relationship had made long strides since his stay at Seattle Grace Mercy West a few years ago, but he was worried that the man was here to talk about his career. He was sick of his family trying to talk him out of plastics.

The older man chuckled. "Don't worry; I'm here on business, to sweep one of your colleagues off their feet. We can talk about you later."

"Oh," he answered simply. Everything made a little more sense now and he was relieved. His grandfather was here to lure one of the fifth year residents to Mass General. Probably Yang. "A little late in the game aren't you?" He jibbed.

His grandfather smiled arrogantly. "That's why I'm here."

Jackson chuckled and eyed the quiet, middle-aged man in the suit who had accompanied his grandfather to Seattle.

Harper Avery noticed where his grandson's eyes had drifted and chided himself for his manners. "Dan, this is my grandson, Jackson. Jackson, this is Dr. Dan Roberts, my Head of Trauma."

Jackson reached forward and shook Dr. Roberts' hand. "It's nice to meet you," he said politely. "You should have a fairly easy time—" He abruptly stopped talking and his hand stilled as he fully processed his grandfather's introduction. "You're the Head of Trauma? Not Cardio?" He turned back to his grandfather with a slightly shocked expression. They weren't here for Yang. "You're here for a trauma surgeon?"

"Yes. April Kepner comes highly recommended from Dr. Webber and Dr. Hunt. She's one of your friends, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she is," he answered quietly.

But his response went ignored as his grandfather spotted the Chief of Surgery over his shoulder. "Dr. Hunt," he greeted happily. "Did you find her?"

"She's waiting in the conference room."

His grandfather gave him a rushed goodbye and Jackson watched with his mouth open as he walked away with Hunt and Dr. Roberts, Head of Trauma for Massachusetts General Hospital.

His grandfather was here to woo his girlfriend.

* * *

**A/N: Please review and tell me what you think of the fellowship twist! :)**


	6. Mass Gen

**A/N: You guys seemed to enjoy the last chapter so thanks! Enjoy the update :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 6 – Mass Gen**

April practically skipped around the hospital after her meeting with Harper Avery and Dan Roberts. Mass Gen actually wanted her. It was official. And they wanted her badly. It hadn't been an interview, it had been a courtship. It had started out as a casual meet and greet where she tried not to appear too nervous. They discussed her residency and Dr. Roberts talked a little about the trauma program at Mass Gen and then the legendary Harper Avery, who had flown across the country for _her_,started saying crazy things. They made her an outrageous offer in an effort to get her to turn down her other offers and choose them immediately.

A base salary higher than all of her other offers.

Moving expenses.

Her student debt erased.

An opportunity to be in charge of the trauma training exercise taught to interns.

They wanted to buy her a house.

It was unbelievable and overwhelming, and she knew that this was not a decision that she should rush in to, no matter how amazing it sounded. In the end, she told them that she would need at least a few days to think about it. Naturally, they agreed, they didn't want to scare her away.

She spotted Jackson approaching from the opposite hallway and smiled. "Hey Jackson."

"Hey." He seemed a little flustered. "Can I talk to you for a second?" She nodded so he grabbed her by the hand and led her to a nearby on-call room.

Before he had a chance to speak, she exclaimed, "Mass Gen offered me a job! They want me!"

She was so happy that he had to smile back at her. "That's amazing," he offered.

Now was not the time to have the conversation that he wanted to have. It would crush her and he didn't have the heart to do that. How was he supposed to tell the girl he loved that he thought that a fellowship at Mass Gen was a terrible idea? How was he supposed to tell her that he had a feeling that her job offer was just another move in the giant chess game that he played with his family? His grandfather knew that it was futile to offer him a job at Mass Gen so he was trying to steal away one of his friends to spite him. He couldn't have that conversation right now. So he put on a happy face.

"That's really amazing," he repeated.

She swiftly locked the door and took him by surprise by kissing him hungrily on the mouth. It reminded him of the first time she kissed him, full of passion, excitement, and adrenaline. She pulled at the drawstrings of his scrub pants and he gently pushed her backwards with his hands on her hips.

"April?" He questioned curiously. Sex in an on-call room was very out of character for her.

"I'm on cloud nine right now," she laughed. She yanked her scrub top over her head and kicked off her pink Nikes. "I'll probably never want to have sex in this hospital ever again, but I do…right now…really badly."

He groaned as she continued to strip and she pulled her hair out of its ponytail. He was a man and she was in such a good mood…and almost naked. He rid himself of his scrubs before wrapping his arms around her waist and capturing her lips.

* * *

Jackson lay back on the on-call room bunk and watched April redress. He caught his breath as he stared at the hickey he had left on the top of her breast. She always looked especially beautiful post-coital and if they weren't in the hospital, he would pull her back down onto the bed without a second thought. "That was incredible," he told her.

She grinned and leaned down to kiss him. "It really was. Thank you."

Sex in on-call rooms and supply closets had always seemed so dirty and unprofessional to her. Her colleagues were adults, world-class surgeons, yet they couldn't control themselves long enough to wait until they got home. She understood the concept a little better now however. It was a mood elevator, a stress reliever, and there was the added rush of its potential publicity. Also, she really was in one of the happiest moods of her life and her boyfriend was undeniably attractive. She could forgive herself for this one indiscretion.

She kissed him once more before she stood up straight and refastened her name tag to her scrub top. "I'm working in the ER tonight so I probably won't see you until tomorrow morning."

He grasped her hand and entwined their fingers. "You can crawl into my bed if you want to. Whatever time it is."

"Okay," she smiled. "Oh! What did you want to talk about?"

She looked so happy and relaxed, and he wanted to keep her happy for as long as possible, so he shook his head. "Nothing important. We can talk about it later."

* * *

Mark Sloan was walking down the hallway, minding his own business, when he spotted Kepner emerging from an on-call room. "Hey Kepner!" He called out.

She twirled around to face him with a smile. "Hi Dr. Sloan!"

He approached her slowly. "I heard about the offer from Mass Gen. Nice work."

"Thank you, sir," she chirped as she bounced on her toes.

Sloan grinned at her. She seemed perkier than usual. She was slightly flushed, her lips were a little swollen, and her hair wasn't as tidy as usual. His instincts were telling him that virginal April Kepner had just engaged in an on-call room romp. He was more than a little curious to discover who was on the other side of that door. He didn't even know that she was dating. He would have to ask Avery about it later because Kepner was not the kind of girl who gave it away to just anyone.

"Well, have a good day Dr. Sloan," she said pleasantly before departing.

He watched her walk away and nodded appreciatively. Once you got beyond all her energy and obsessive tendencies, Kepner was quite cute and she had a nice body. Besides, that energy could definitely be put to good use.

He casually leaned against the wall next to the door and folded his arms as he waited for Kepner's Prince Charming. He was beginning to think that he had misjudged the situation when _finally_; he heard the door open and a man in light blue scrubs and black sneakers stepped out.

Sloan grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Hey Avery!"

So Kepner was Avery's mystery woman. Maybe Kepner had taken his advice after all. They were definitely more than study buddies now and he had never seen Avery happier. He knew that they had chemistry!

The younger man stalled and turned to him in shock. "Hello," he responded tentatively.

"How's it going? How are the post-ops?"

"Good," Jackson replied. "I was just catching up on some sleep." Sloan continued to madly grin at him and Jackson knew that they had been caught, and by one of the hospital's biggest gossips. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," he laughed.

Jackson sighed and ran a hand over his face. "What's it gonna take for you to not talk about this? We're keeping it private."

Sloan thought for a moment. "Turn down one of your offers."

He accepted the deal instantly. "Done! I'll turn down USC."

"Not USC, Emery," Sloan bargained.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, okay." He had sort of already eliminated Emery but he wasn't about to tell Sloan that. He spun around, intent on fleeing the scene immediately, but his mentor grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back. "Yes?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Sloan leaned forward and whispered, "Kepner's a freak in the sheets, isn't she?"

"We are not having this conversation," Jackson told him seriously.

"We will eventually!" Sloan yelled as Jackson walked away. "The curiosity is going to kill me!"

* * *

Jackson sat on the bench in the empty residents' locker room and waited for the time to pass. His shift was over and he had changed out of his scrubs but he wasn't meeting his grandfather for dinner for another half an hour. He had no reason to go back to his apartment beforehand so he had decided to just stick around the hospital. A lot of things were weighing heavily on his mind but it had been a great day in the OR and he had managed to shut Sloan's big mouth about him and April.

Lexie entered the room with an armful of papers and smiled. "Hey."

He quietly greeted her in return.

She carefully laid down her files on one of the tables and sat down in a chair. She began to arrange everything in preparation for getting some serious work done tonight. She had come to the residents' locker room for a quiet place to work; she hadn't expected to find a rather glum looking Jackson.

"Are you okay?" She asked after a little while.

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm just waiting to go to dinner with my grandfather."

"Oh." Right, she had heard that Harper Avery was here and that was certainly enough to dampen Jackson's mood. "I heard that he offered April a fellowship at Mass Gen. That's great!" Jackson was unable to hide his frown and her face fell. "Oh…that's not great?"

He finally had an opportunity to air his frustrations and he wasn't about to pass it up, especially since he and Lexie were trying very hard to be friends. They hadn't been able to make it work as a couple, for obvious reasons, but he still trusted her. "My grandfather is impossible to work for. He's arrogant, he's stubborn, he's always right. He runs his attendings ragged. They're all at his beck and call because he's the great Harper Avery," he said sarcastically. "My grandfather has turned the surgeons at Mass Gen into robots and that would destroy April." He raised a hand and gestured wildly at nothing. "That environment would suck the life out of April and she's so full of life. She has such a big heart. If you work for my grandfather, your life has to be surgery and nothing else, and that's not April. Mass Gen may be perfect for somebody like Yang but it will ruin her."

"Wow," Lexie breathed. "Have you told her any of this?"

April had always held a special place in Jackson's life. He was very protective of her. While they were dating, she had never been worried about Jackson and April's relationship but she had always slightly envied how easy it was for him to confide in her and how he jumped to her defence at every opportunity. But there was something different about the way that he was talking about her now. He was very worked up over this offer from Mass Gen and he hadn't sounded this upset any of the times that he had confronted her about Mark.

He shook his head. "No. She's so happy right now; I don't want to burst her bubble."

"Well, you should probably tell her if its bothering you this much," Lexie reasoned.

"Yeah," he sighed. He looked down at his watch and stood up. "I have to get to dinner. See ya later, Lex."

"Bye Jackson." She frowned as she realized that April may be happy about her offer from Mass Gen but Jackson was absolutely forlorn about it.

* * *

Jackson sipped his glass of rum and Coke and sighed in satisfaction. A drink was exactly what he needed to get through this dinner with his grandfather. They were at Seattle's most expensive restaurant, obviously, and he was listening to his grandfather tell tales of some of his most recent, complicated surgeries. The topic of conversation was stimulating to him and he was thankful that his family had seemed to finally accept that he could be a successful plastic surgeon without succumbing to the field's temptations. However, he was distracted and unable to focus on his grandfather's stories. Truthfully, all he wanted to talk about was his grandfather's meeting with April.

"How's the steak, Jackson?"

"Its great," he answered.

The steak was delicious. They discussed the food a little bit more before the conversation turned back to medicine.

"So, tell me about your job offers?"

His grandfather gave him his opinions on USC, Penn, and Tulane. Jackson refrained from mentioning that he had just turned down an offer from Emery. Jackson was also quick to defend Seattle Grace Mercy West.

"Mark Sloan is the best. I've learned a lot from him."

"So now its time to move out from under his shadow," his grandfather argued.

Jackson couldn't deny that he had a point. The idea of being great without Sloan was definitely appealing but they worked incredibly well together. They were a great team and Jackson had begun to regard the older man as a friend and brotherly figure.

Jackson ate in silence before he finally asked the question that was on his mind. "How was your meeting with April?"

His grandfather eyed him curiously but decided to answer regardless. "Dr. Kepner is a lovely young woman. She's perfect for our program but I knew that before I flew all the way out here."

Jackson took another swig of his drink. "Are you sure?"

"Am I sure about what?" He asked in a slightly offended tone.

"That April will fit at Mass Gen?"

Harper Avery finished his drink before responding to his grandson. "I lost three trauma surgeons this year, one retired, one went overseas, and the other moved to New York. We're revamping the program and we're looking for young, bright, creative fellows. Dr. Kepner graduated first in her class from the University of Chicago, she's the Chief Resident at a top ranking hospital, and she comes highly recommended from people that I trust. They say that she's hardworking, organized, a great problem solver with an excellent bedside manner. I think that she'll excel at my hospital," he stated confidently. "But your mother tells me that you two are very close, do you disagree?"

Jackson shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "No, she's great…she's amazing really…"

"Then what's the problem?" Jackson stayed silent and Harper Avery chuckled. "I'm the problem, right?"

"No, no, that's not it," Jackson stammered. "Its not you, it's the way you run your hospital," he told him honestly.

Harper Avery leaned back in his chair and pursed his lips. "I see."

Jackson exhaled noisily in annoyance and gripped his fork tightly in irritation. His grandfather could be very childish and he was quickly remembering why their relationship had been so strained in the past. "Its just that…April…she's a genuinely kind person…she cares a lot and I don't want Mass Gen to harden her. She's good at her job because she cares so much. She's not the type of surgeon that you usually hire."

"I know; that's why I want to hire her." It was easy to see that his grandson still wasn't pleased with his answers but he doubted that anything that he said would satisfy him. There was more bothering Jackson than the character of his hospital. "Well, she seemed very interested in our offer and why wouldn't she? Mass Gen is the best medical facility in the country."

Jackson rolled his eyes. "What exactly did you offer her?"

"Ask her," his grandfather challenged.

Now Jackson was the one acting childish and he knew it. He was brooding but they always managed to get into a fight about something when they talked. He focused on his drink but noticed that his grandfather was smirking at him.

Finally the older man spoke. "She certainly is a pretty little thing."

Jackson closed his eyes and felt his jaw muscle twitch. His grandfather had always enjoyed charming pretty, young surgeons but he had no interest in April, he had made that comment just to see his reaction. He stopped a waiter as he passed by. "I'd like another drink."

* * *

April returned from her shift in the ER and slipped into Jackson's bed as quietly as she could. Her presence woke him and he rolled over so that he could spoon her from behind. He wrapped his arm tightly around her waist and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'm glad you came," he said groggily. "How was your shift?"

She smiled as she ran her hand along his forearm. She hadn't even thought about going to her own bed to sleep alone, even if it was only for a couple of hours. She loved sleeping beside him. She was getting used to it. "It was great! How was your night?"

He groaned, "Terrible. I went out to dinner with my grandfather."

"That doesn't sound so bad," she said soothingly. "He was very nice to me."

"That's because he's trying to collect you," he said bluntly. "He has to be nice and charming. But me, I'm his grandson, so he can argue with me, berate me, and really piss me off."

"Are you okay?" She asked in concern.

That was a good question. He had a little too much to drink at dinner and the conversation had eventually turned to the nobility of plastics and what it meant to be an Avery. By the end of it, he had been really angry and he expected a phone call from his mother very soon. But to make things worse, he couldn't get his grandfather's stupid comment about April out of his head. Even though he knew that it meant nothing.

"_She certainly is a pretty little thing."_

His dinner had been terrible on a variety of levels but the only part that he could focus on was the part related to April. That spoke volumes.

He slipped a hand into her shorts and ran his fingers along the waistband of her underwear. He was beginning to feel a tad territorial. "I would have rather spent my evening with you. I just missed you," he whispered.

She reached behind her and ran a hand over the back of his head. She turned her face towards his and smiled at his sleepy, blue-green eyes. "God Jackson, I missed you too." She kissed him desperately and bit down on his bottom lip when he slipped a finger inside of her.

* * *

**A/N: Someone knows about them! Yay! Leave me your thoughts!**


	7. Talk To Me

**A/N: The Friday update! Have a good weekend :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Talk To Me**

Jackson walked into the kitchen the next morning to find April awake and full of energy. He had a minor headache but he was in a considerably better mood than he had been in last night and seeing April certainly made him smile.

"What are you doing?" He asked drowsily. "You don't have to go in until noon. You practically just got home! You should be in bed."

"I felt like getting up and making breakfast," she said cheerfully.

Jackson yawned as he looked her over. She had clearly been up long enough to get in the shower because her hair was wet. She was wearing a t-shirt that they had been given as Mercy West interns and a pair of shorts. He didn't even know that she owned shorts that tiny. He had only ever seen her in gym shorts and the baggy ones that she slept in. He wasn't complaining though, her butt looked fantastic. As he stepped closer to where she was standing by the stove, he smelled the wonderful aroma of home cooked food.

"Mmm eggs and bacon." He rested his head on her shoulder and watched her cook. She was the best cook and baker that he knew and it was very attractive. "You may be the perfect woman."

She laughed, "I know, I cook, I clean—"

He cut her off, "You're smart and sexy." He pressed his body against hers and caressed the front of her thighs. "You should come back to bed with me," he whispered huskily.

She giggled as he tried to coax her into something physical. "Jackson," she chastised, "I'm cooking." Despite her better judgement, she tilted her head to the side to give his lips better access to her neck. "Go get in the shower." He ignored her and she couldn't contain a moan when one of his hands moved up her waist to knead her breast. She shuddered as he began to whisper very dirty things in her ear. If he didn't stop soon then they were going to have sex in the kitchen. She squirmed out of his arms and put a couple of feet between them. She pointed her spatula at him and he laughed. "Stop it! Go get in the shower right now, before Alex gets up, or I'm not giving you any breakfast!"

He chuckled at her seriousness. "Okay, okay, I'm going." She visibly relaxed, lowering her spatula, and he took the opportunity to quickly advance on her. He kissed her eagerly and gave her backside a firm squeeze. "Stop sneaking out of my bed in the morning."

"Okay," she replied in a daze. He left her speechless. The boy could kiss.

He grinned smugly at her before doing as he was told and leaving the kitchen for the bathroom.

* * *

When Jackson returned to the kitchen after showering and getting dressed, Alex was at the table shovelling his breakfast into his mouth.

"Kepner, this is why I live with you," he said around a mouthful of food.

April smiled to herself as she prepared a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast for Jackson. She placed it in front of him when he took a seat at the table. "Do you want some coffee?" She asked softly.

"Yes, please," he answered as he tried not to stare at her for too long.

She grabbed two cups of coffee, milk and two sugars for her and just milk for Jackson, and settled at the table to eat her own breakfast.

"So," Jackson began with a devious smile. "I just saw a leggy blonde slip out the front door."

April sighed and turned to Alex. "What did I tell you about unsavoury women in our apartment?"

Alex rolled his eyes as he took a bite of his toast. "Relax. She didn't use any of your stuff. Besides, you should be telling him off!" He angrily pointed at the man sitting across the table from him.

"What did I do?" Jackson asked defensively.

"I've barely been getting any sleep lately because of whoever you've been bringing home. You just get them out at the crack of dawn so that April doesn't read you the riot act!" Jackson smirked as he sipped his coffee so Alex turned to the red-head. "His women haven't been keeping you up?" He asked incredulously.

"Um no," she answered awkwardly. She took a sip of her own coffee and used her messy, red curls to hide her face from his view. She assumed that she was bright red right about now.

"Woman," Jackson chimed in.

"What?" Alex asked.

"Not women," he grinned. "_Woman_."

"The same one from the night you kicked me and April out?" Jackson nodded. "I already told you to tell her to keep it down."

"Hey! The number of women that you've had over who—"

April cleared her throat and Jackson abruptly stopped talking. "I'm going to go watch the news and let you two have this conversation in private," she murmured. She picked up her plate and mug and headed to the living room.

Jackson laughed until he caught his roommate's eyes on April's ass as she left. "Dude!" He stated in disbelief.

"What?" Alex shrugged. "You were looking too!" Jackson was glaring but it didn't bother him. "She knows that I check her out, she doesn't care, and she knows it doesn't mean anything. We're cool, neither one of us is about to make that mistake again."

"I doubt she doesn't care," was all that Jackson managed to say.

"She tells me off every now and then. I've gotten smacked on the head a few times," he admitted. "Watch this. Hey April!"

"Yeah?" She called out from the living room.

"You know that I just checked out your ass, right?"

"Yeah, you're a pig!"

Jackson chuckled a little and Alex looked at him somewhat triumphantly. "See? No big deal. She knows what she got into when she decided to rent an apartment with two guys." He finished his breakfast and brought his empty dishes to the sink. "Thanks for breakfast Kepner."

"You're welcome!"

It was time for Alex to take his morning shower so Jackson decided to join April in the living room as he finished his coffee. He sat down next to her on the couch and she placed her feet in his lap. He watched her while her attention was focused on the television and she nibbled on a piece of bacon. He really just wanted to make out with her on this couch, right now…long enough for Karev to find them.

He wasn't bothered by the fact that Karev regularly checked her out because his roommate had been telling the truth, it didn't mean anything; it was just Karev being Karev. But he didn't want every guy that they encountered to think that it was okay to look. Actually, the more that he thought about…he didn't want Karev looking either.

"I want to tell him," he stated as he ran a hand up her calf. "I want to tell Karev that we're dating."

She turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "After what he just said about…_keeping it down_…that was mortifying."

"Its just Karev," he said dismissively. "That's how he is, but we should tell him."

She chewed on her bottom lip. "He was exaggerating though, right?" Jackson offered no response. "Right?" She repeated loudly. She looked at him impatiently. "Jackson?"

"Um…well…" He looked down at her legs before she grabbed his face and forced him to look her in the eye. She had laid her breakfast on the coffee table and now her face was inches away from his. He laid aside his own mug of coffee and grabbed her waist to pull her even closer. "You're vocal, I find it very sexy." He placed a quick kiss on her lips before smiling smugly. "Of course, I can take some of the blame."

She fought a smile. "Your ego is huge."

He grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his waist. "Among other things," he spoke against her lips.

She laughed and kissed him. She couldn't exactly argue with him, he was anatomically blessed.

He peppered kisses along her jaw and palmed her waist. He was fully aware that the prospect of sex, or even some heavy petting, was distracting him from a serious conversation that he wanted to have but she was so warm and she tasted so good.

"Jackson," she panted, "we're in the living room and you have to be at the hospital soon."

"I can be really quick," he laughed and then quickly added, "in the good way."

She laughed and kissed him sweetly before pulling away from him and placing her hands on his chest. "Is it really important to you?" She asked caringly.

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Having sex right now?"

"No!" She laughed. "Is it really important to you to tell people that we're dating?"

He covered her hands with his and answered honestly, "Yeah, it is."

"Okay then," she smiled. If making their relationship public was important to him then it was important to her too. Since they had started seeing each other, he hadn't pressured her about anything. He had been nothing but patient, kind, and loving, so she was willing to do this for him. No matter how nervous she was about it spreading throughout the hospital. People would know that Jackson had taken her "maiden voyage" and she was expecting some teasing. "We can tell people that we're dating."

He smiled happily, "Thank you. I'll tell Karev on our way to work."

* * *

Jackson could barely contain himself and therefore he began spilling his guts as soon as he pulled his car out of the driveway. "So, the woman that I've been seeing," he began.

"Yeah?" Karev asked attentively.

"It's April."

Karev laughed boisterously from the passenger seat. "Very funny Avery." Silence filled the car and he stared at his companion in disbelief. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"I am," Jackson answered simply as he kept his eyes on the road.

"For how long?"

"Since San Francisco."

"Are you serious? You guys hooked up at the Boards?" He asked in shock. Jackson nodded. "Interesting," he commented.

"She also punched a guy in the face at the Boards," Jackson laughed.

Karev laughed along with him and then said proudly, "Way to go Kepner." He mulled over this new information for a moment. Kepner and Avery were a good fit. They complimented each other well and handled each other better than anyone else could. "That's cool. Thanks for telling me."

"No problem," Jackson replied with a smile.

"Just keep it down," he requested with a grimace. "Now that I know its Kepner, I'll be thinking about—"

Jackson cut him off quickly, "Don't think about anything! And try to keep the looking to a minimum too."

Karev shrugged and muttered his trademark. "Whatever."

The two men fell silent again until Karev cackled.

"What is it?" Jackson asked curiously.

"You cashed Kepner's v-card."

"Grow up Karev!"

Despite the comment, Jackson smiled to himself. His conversation with Karev had actually gone better than he had anticipated.

* * *

"Good morning Jackson," Harper Avery chimed as he sidled up to his grandson who was chartering at the third floor nurses' station.

Jackson turned to his grandfather with a fake smile plastered on his face. "You're still here." It was a statement not a question since it was hard to miss that he was dressed in the navy blue scrubs of an attending.

"I am. Dr. Hunt has kindly offered to let me scrub in on a surgery this afternoon. Dr. Kepner is assisting; I would like to see her work."

He strutted off before Jackson had a chance to respond and that made him even angrier. "Well that's just great," he said to himself through gritted teeth. He closed his chart with more force than necessary and started to walk away from the nurses' station. His phone began to ring in the pocket of his lab coat and he pulled it out to read the caller ID. He sighed as he saw that it was his mother, he had been expecting this phone call.

He had been having such a good day until he learned that his grandfather was still hanging around Seattle and now his mother was calling to reprimand him.

He slipped into an empty supply closet and answered his phone. "Can you make Grandpa go home now, please?"

"_Jackson Avery, stop acting like a child. I raised you better than that."_

"Good morning, Mom. How are you?"

"_Worried about you,"_ she answered frankly.

"No need to be worried about me. I'm fine."

"_That's not what I hear."_

Jackson sighed as he began to pace. "Grandpa and I argued. He knows how to push my buttons; it was nothing out of the ordinary. He won't leave me alone about plastics."

"_He doesn't understand why you don't have your heart set on a fellowship program."_

"I have four great offers! I'm keeping my options open! I want to make sure that I really think about this decision," he defended passionately.

"_Well that's smart, baby,"_ she approved.

"Thank you," he grumbled petulantly.

"_But you're also upset because he offered April an amazing opportunity. Honestly honey, it's none of your business."_

"I know that a fellowship at Mass Gen will do her more harm than good."

"_You don't _know_ that and anyway, April is a grown woman. She's capable of making the decision that's best for her."_

He pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed in annoyance. "He only wants to hire her to mess with me!"

"_Sweetie, this has nothing to do with you, I do know that. An old friend of your grandfather's from the University of Chicago gave him April's name when he heard that Mass Gen was having a hard time finding trauma fellows. He wasn't looking for just anyone from Seattle Grace."_ She paused before asking, _"What's really bothering you?"_

He sunk down into a sitting position on the floor and ran a hand over his closely cut hair. His silence was a dead giveaway and before he could form words, he heard his mother's voice again.

"_I would say that the idea of your best friend moving to Boston must be hard but its more than that, isn't it?"_

"Mom…" He wasn't sure if he was ready to have this conversation with his mother. He hadn't even had this conversation with April.

"_Jackson, what's going on between you and April?"_

"Mom, I'm getting paged, I gotta go," he lied. He hung up the phone and took a minute to collect himself before he left the safety of the supply closet.

* * *

April was scrubbing out after surgery and she was doing so next to Harper Avery. The whole situation seemed unreal.

"Nice work Dr. Kepner," he complimented.

"Thank you, sir."

She had been quite nervous when Chief Hunt had told her that Harper Avery would be scrubbing in on their surgery. However, she had been calm and collected in the OR. She had surprised herself. Maybe sex was making her a better, more relaxed surgeon. It was an interesting hypothesis.

She had been having a wonderful day overall. She had called her parents this morning and told them all about her various fellowship offers. Her Mom was favouring Case Western Reserve but April knew that her family would support her no matter which hospital she chose. She told them about the time that she had off between the end of her residency and the beginning of her fellowship and they expected her to come home for at least a few days. Alice was even willing to fly home from Chicago to see her.

Thoughts of home had added an extra spring to her step, so far she hadn't been teased about her loss of virginity once, and she had just completed a successful surgery with _Harper Avery_.

He turned to her as she dried her hands. "I want to take you out to dinner tonight. Tell you a little more about our program."

"Okay, sounds great," she smiled.

"Bring Jackson along; he's been sour with me all day."

"Um…okay." April said to herself since Harper Avery had already left the scrub room. "He's definitely a brisk man," she muttered.

* * *

Jackson sat in his seat and sipped his drink just like he had the night before. He was unhappy to be at another expensive Seattle restaurant. He knew that he would have happily turned down the dinner invitation from his grandfather, that's probably why the old man had April ask him. He wouldn't be here for anybody except April. She looked gorgeous tonight in a grey business suit and a crimson blouse. She was smiling happily and hanging on his grandfather's every word. The older Avery was being perfectly pleasant and charming as he told April every positive thing about Mass Gen and the city of Boston. Jackson added to the conversation infrequently. He didn't want to be impolite by saying the things that were really on his mind.

"You loved growing up in Boston, didn't you Jackson?" His grandfather asked pointedly.

He simply nodded. He did love growing up in Boston. He still loved the city. He loved the history. He loved the sights. He loved the restaurants. He had loved studying at Harvard. He loved the Celtics and the Red Soxs. The only downside to Boston was that his family lived there.

"I think that April would like New York better," he stated. "Or LA." He was referring to her offers from Mount Sinai and the University of California campus in Irvine and everyone at the table knew it.

"Well, I've never been to Boston." April spoke with a smile but her voice had lost some of its perkiness.

"And Cleveland is closer to her family," he added before taking another mouthful of his drink.

April looked at him out of the corner of her eye and whispered his name in a plea.

He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He laid his drink down on the table and ran a hand over his face. It was time to be honest and get things off of his chest. He couldn't sit through this dinner any longer without looking like a complete asshole in front of the most important person in his life.

He turned to April and completely ignored the presence of his grandfather. "I'm sorry; I'm acting like an ass. I should go and let you finish you dinner. You're amazing and you deserve to have hospitals fighting over you but I don't think that Mass Gen is the right choice." He placed one hand on the back of her neck and slipped it into her hair. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I'll see you at home," he murmured.

"Uh…okay…" She was too caught off guard to say anything else.

Jackson tossed his napkin onto the table and stood up. He looked down at his grandfather coldly. The great Harper Avery had to know that he had feelings for April, he was too perceptive not to. Plus, the speed of gossip was one of the most impressive aspects of Seattle Grace Mercy West and they were an official couple as of this morning. But the way that he was chasing after April like some prize showed just how much he cared about his grandson. He always put work first, and that was not a mistake that Jackson would be making in his own life.

"Bye Grandpa."

* * *

When April returned from dinner, she bypassed her own bedroom and headed straight to Jackson's. They really needed to talk about what had happened at dinner.

His bedroom light was off but he was lying awake in his bed.

"Hey," he greeted her softly as he sat up in bed and turned on his bedside lamp.

"Hi," she responded as she removed her jacket and tossed it in the chair in the corner of his room. She sat down next to him, atop of the covers, and presented him with the small takeout box. "I brought you back some dessert."

"Thank you."

"Oh crap, I'll go and get you a fork."

She left the room before he had a chance to protest. She returned quickly with a fork from the kitchen and handed it to him. His eyes widened as she slowly started to take off her clothes. She crawled into his bed and lay down next to him. She stole the fork from his hand and began to eat his piece of chocolate fudge brownie cake but he was too busy staring at her body clad only in a black, lace bra and matching panties. He had never seen her wear lace underwear of any kind and he couldn't tear his eyes away. The way that it contrasted against her pale skin made his palms itch.

"I expected you to be mad at me," he confessed. Her being half-naked in his bed with dessert did not spell angry to him.

She shook her head. "No, I'm not mad at you. Your bad mood at dinner wasn't because of me, it was because of him. I'm just sorry that you and your grandfather have such an up and down relationship."

"Awe," he replied in realization as he leaned back against the headboard. "So the dessert and the hot, new underwear are to cheer me up."

"The dessert is. The new underwear was supposed to be celebratory but now seems kind of inappropriate."

He laughed as he took his first bite of the cake. "This is delicious."

"Jackson," she sighed. She shifted closer to him and ran her hand up his chest. "Talk to me," she begged.

"Being an Avery sucks most of the time," he offered.

She looked at him sadly. "He's flying out tomorrow morning, if that's any consolation."

He didn't respond. He looked so dejected; she had never seen him look like that before. He was so confident and sure of himself. But his relationship with his family was complicated and she had seen glimmers of that in the past. She threw her leg over his, cuddled into his side, and placed a kiss on his bare chest.

"Tell me what you're thinking about."

And eventually he did.

He talked to her for hours about his upbringing and being an Avery. He explained his relationship with his grandfather as best as he could. Being a surgeon was a family tradition, it was in his blood, but his grandfather was really the one who had inspired him. He talked about his mother and how she warned him about buckling under the pressure of the family name. He talked about his perfect, older sister, Elizabeth, and how they didn't always get along. Apparently, she was a bit of a snob. She was a cardiothoracic surgeon and, in their family's eyes, she had always been much more focused and disciplined than Jackson. He talked about his father, whom he rarely mentioned. His brilliant father, Carson Avery. Carson Avery had been one of the best neonatal surgeons and genetic specialists in the country before he had "burnt out", the term that his grandfather and mother used. His parents had divorced when he was five and his mother had elected to keep her married name. His father moved to Sweden when he was seven, he had needed an entire ocean to separate him from being an Avery. He had little contact with his father, a card at Christmas and one on his birthday and the scattered phone call. But he hadn't seen him in almost five years.

Sadly, his family wasn't like hers, they hadn't pushed or encouraged him. They hadn't spotted his brilliance early on. He was the pretty one. Her parents gushed over her M.D. and told everyone that they met that their little girl was a doctor. Jackson's family, however, expected greatness. They didn't like that he had turned down a residency at Mass Gen, and they really weren't fond of his speciality in plastics. The area wasn't noble enough, too much easy money.

He also told her all about Mass Gen and why he felt that it wasn't right for her, and he cautioned her against moving all the way to Boston just because Harper Avery was offering her everything she ever dreamed of. Apparently his grandfather was good at making enticing promises to lure you into a trap.

It was the first night since San Francisco that they didn't have sex and it was perfect.

* * *

**A/N: 1) They're a public couple now, yay! 2) I gave Jackson a little more backstory. Catherine always calls him "baby" or "baby boy" so I figured that an older, female sibling is possible and she did mention to Richard that his father had "burnt out".**

**If you took the time to read then please leave a review! :)**


	8. Deliriously Happy

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter! Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 8 – Deliriously Happy**

Jackson walked into the kitchen with an outrageous smile on his face and Alex looked at him in disgust.

"Don't tell me that you're going to be all deliriously happy and annoying now?" He asked as he chewed his breakfast cereal.

Jackson grinned as he poured his morning coffee and leaned against the kitchen counter. "Jealously doesn't look good on you Karev."

"Dude," he laughed, "you're dating Kepner. Jealous is the last thing that I am."

"I have two words for you Karev: morning sex."

Alex grumbled and stared into his bowl of cereal. He was jealous that Jackson was getting laid on a regular basis.

Jackson smirked as he sipped his coffee and reflected on his morning thus far.

April was an early riser, it was normal for her to be awake before him. But she was such a morning person that she usually did something productive like shower, cook, or do laundry. This morning, however, he had been slowly drawn out of his sleep by the feeling of soft lips on his chest and warm hands on his abdomen. She had kissed all over his neck and along his jaw until he finally opened his eyes and smiled at her. She had slept in the new, black lace underwear and he had never seen her so frisky in the morning. He had enjoyed every second. He was a guy, he loved morning sex.

He had a feeling that her physical affection had something to do with the fact that he had poured his heart out to her last night. He had never been so open and candid with someone. As friends, he had always talked about a lot of things with her that he didn't with others but last night they had reached a whole new level of intimacy.

And he probably would be deliriously happy and annoying for the foreseeable future because April made him deliriously happy.

The woman in question entered the kitchen and he immediately swept her into his arms. "Good morning," he said after a long kiss.

"Jesus Avery," Alex mumbled under his breath.

* * *

All of the fifth year residents congregated in the residents' locker room before lunch for a meeting with Chief Hunt.

Hunt arrived on time and got right to the point. "Today is Saturday. Next Friday at noon is the deadline for accepting and declining fellowship offers. Its decision making time." He clapped his hands together and smiled weakly. "Have a good day."

Hunt left quickly to let the information sit with the residents. They were all aware that they had decisions to make, fellowships to choose, but a deadline was like a slap in the face. Some were excited to move on to bigger and better things. Some were content to stay in the safety net of Seattle Grace Mercy West. Some felt uneasy about the prospect of making such a life altering decision professionally when they weren't secure in their personal life. Some were still weighing their options, and others were genuinely undecided.

All of these views were present at the cafeteria table where Meredith, Cristina, Alex, April, Jackson, and Lexie ate their lunch.

"I think I'm staying," Meredith declared. "I just have to convince Derek to stay," she trailed off unsurely.

"I can't wait until Hopkins," Alex said excitedly.

"You have to tell Robbins first," Cristina pointed out. "She's going to kill you," she chuckled.

Alex shrugged but it was obviously apparent that he was actually afraid of the happy, blonde Head of Pediatrics.

"You're leaning towards Stanford right?" Meredith questioned Cristina.

"I dunno," she answered noncommittally. "Columbia is great too. Teddy is offering me everything except her job. I might stay. Everything's on the table."

"Come on, its gotta be Stanford," Meredith urged.

Cristina turned towards Jackson to redirect the conversation. "What are you thinking?"

"I haven't talked to Sloan yet," he answered. "I want his opinion."

"What about you, April?" Lexie asked curiously.

"Well, she'd be an idiot to turn down Mass Gen," Cristina stated.

Jackson shifted uneasily and everybody at the table noticed. "Working for a legend can be exhausting," Meredith offered supportively. He shot her a small smile which she returned.

"I'm really not sure," April replied honestly. There was something that she loved about each of her offers, but Mass Gen was hanging over her like a dark cloud. She picked at her food but noticed that Cristina was staring at her from across the table and it was beginning to make her uncomfortable. "What?"

"I thought that there would be a perceptible difference."

"A perceptible difference in what?" She asked in confusion.

"In you, now that you're de-virginized," Cristina explained. "I mean before you had these like superpowers—"

Meredith chuckled while April sounded scandalized. "Cristina!"

Alex spoke up quickly, "There is a difference. You don't live with them."

Cristina's eyes lit up in excitement. "Do tell!"

April's face and neck flushed and Jackson gently took her hand. "Come on; let's finish our lunch in your office."

"Avery's horny as hell," Alex told the table. "They're like rabbits."

April rushed to pick up her drink and boxed sandwich and Jackson followed her as she bolted out of the cafeteria.

"Yeah, have fun _finishing your lunch_!" Cristina called after them.

* * *

April thought that there would be zero truth to Cristina's innuendo and Alex's crude comment but she had drastically miscalculated. After finishing their lunch, she and Jackson ended up on her couch.

"We're not having sex," she giggled as he kissed her neck and slipped his hands under her scrub top. "We're just…"

"Making out like teenagers," he finished as he pushed her back into a lying position.

"Yeah," she agreed breathlessly.

Both of their scrub tops were quickly discarded and April ran her hands over his muscled chest. Her tongue explored his mouth as he skilfully swivelled his hips against hers.

She moaned and gripped his shoulders. "Jackson, don't do that."

He grinned mischievously and repeated the motion. "That?" She bit down on her bottom lip and nodded. "Ohh that."

"Jackson," she whined.

He chuckled into her ear. "April, relax, I'm gonna take care of you." He thrust against her again as he sucked her earlobe into his mouth.

Now they were dry humping like teenagers.

With a firm hand on the back of his head, she guided his mouth downwards to her chest. He planted kisses on her collarbone before moving to the edge of her bra. He pushed the cup of her bra down and covered her exposed nipple with his mouth.

April tossed her head back against the arm of the couch and suppressed a moan. She had accepted the fact that she actually was kind of loud. Jackson's tongue felt incredible and that, in combination with the friction of their lower bodies, had her teetering on the verge of an orgasm. "Jackson…Jackson…I'm really close…"

He raised his head and kissed her hungrily as his fingers furiously worked to untie the strings of her scrub pants. He had to touch her. He slipped his hand into her underwear and she copied his movements. He moaned in pleasant surprise when her small hand wrapped around his hard length.

A shrill ringing startled them and they both stopped what they were doing.

Jackson rested his head on her shoulder and groaned in frustration. "You gotta be kidding me!"

"Is that your phone?" She asked breathlessly.

"Yeah." He practically whimpered from the loss of contact when she took her hand off of him. He reluctantly moved away from the sofa and grabbed his lab coat, which he had placed on a nearby chair. He angrily pulled his phone out of the pocket and laughed humourlessly at the name displayed. He should have known. Only one person in his life had this kind of timing. "It's my mother."

"Oh…" April blushed and instantly felt awkward. She readjusted her bra and began to redress.

Jackson returned to the couch and kissed her reassuringly before he answered the call. He had contemplated ignoring his mother but April was definitely no longer in the mood.

"Hi Mom."

"_Hi baby boy,"_ she replied happily.

"Two calls in two days. I feel special," he joked.

She laughed before she went right for the throat. _"So, you and April are dating?"_

"Wow, Grandpa works fast." He looked at April who appeared distinctly uncomfortable as she fiddled with the collar of her lab coat. She motioned towards the door, telling him that she was going to leave but he beckoned her forward. He smiled and placed a soft kiss on her forehead and then one on her lips.

"_Jackson? Are you there?"_ His mother's voice called from his phone as April left her office.

He put the phone back up to his ear. "Yeah Mom, I'm here," he sighed. "If you're calling to tell me that I shouldn't be getting involved with someone now because I have fellowship decisions to make then I don't want to talk about it. And if you're calling to tell me that you're shocked and sceptical that I'm dating April and that you don't see us working as a couple then I don't want to talk about that either. And don't you dare think about calling her!"

His mother loved April but she had only known her as his friend. She was a great girl, a great surgeon, and she had received a great education but he feared that her…pedigree wouldn't be good enough for his family. His mother was very hard to please and she typically gave his girlfriends a really hard time. He was her baby boy, and in her eyes, nobody was good enough for him. Any woman that he dated had to be determined good enough to possibly one day become an Avery and it was a very high standard.

"_Honey,"_ she said in a gentle voice. _"Slow down. I called to tell you that I'm happy for you. I always thought that the two of you would be a good match but I didn't want to _meddle_."_

He stopped the absentminded pacing he had been doing. "That doesn't sound like you. Are you serious?"

"_Yes, I'm serious,"_ she laughed. _"The way you've always talked about her…you've never talked about any other girl like that. You talk about her the way I told you Sloan talks about Lexie. You're in love with her. Have you told her?"_

He could imagine his mother's bright smile. "Mom, we're not talking about this."

"_You haven't told her,"_ she stated.

"No, I haven't," he confessed.

"_Are you happy, baby?"_

"Yes," he replied confidently. "This is the happiest I've been in a long time."

"_Aww…"_ She was definitely bubbling over with excitement.

"Mom! Stop! Stop!"

"_Are you treating her well? Are you being the gentleman I raised you to be because she is a virgin, or maybe that's no longer true,"_ she trailed off.

He closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. His mother really didn't have any boundaries. "We are _not_ talking about this!"

"_Jackson, you are an adult!"_

"We're not talking about my sex life," he repeated in a harsh whisper.

"_Fine,"_ she conceded.

"Okay," he said as he sat down on April's couch. "Let's have a normal conversation."

* * *

Alex left his bedroom and headed to the living room where he found April curled up in the corner of the sofa with her legs drawn up underneath her. He was surprised to see her without Avery close by and he hadn't noticed his car in the driveway either. "Where's Avery?"

"He had to stay a little late to do some post-ops. He should be home soon," April replied.

"Do you want a beer?" He asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Yes please! Oh, and your laundry is in the dryer. What are you going to do when you go to Hopkins and I'm not there," she jibbed.

He chuckled as he grabbed two beers out of the refrigerator and carried them back to the living room. "I'll find someone that's as big of a pushover as you and get them to do my laundry," he answered as he sat down next to her.

She snatched a beer bottle out of his hand and glared at him. "You're going to miss me!"

He was going to miss Kepner, he was going to miss everyone, but he would never admit that to her. "I'm gonna miss your cooking. I'm gonna miss making fun of you."

"Gosh Alex, you're so sentimental," she said sarcastically.

He took a swig from his beer and turned to look at her. "I'll miss looking at your rack, that's something."

She smacked him across the back of the head and got to her feet. "I'm going to order a pizza."

Alex rubbed the back of his head but laughed as he did it. He leaned forward and looked at what April had spread out across the coffee table. There were information booklets on various hospitals' surgical trauma programs, pamphlets about the hospitals themselves, and papers describing the cities they were in.

"What are you doing?" He called out.

April heard Alex's question while she was on the phone with the pizza place. She finished placing her order and placed the phone back on the hook in the kitchen. "I just ordered a pizza, I told you," she answered in confusion as she reclaimed her spot on the sofa.

"No, I mean what are you doing with all this stuff?" He clarified as he gestured to all of the papers on the coffee table.

"Trying to pick where I'm going to do my fellowship!" She stated the obvious. "Oh, and give me ten bucks for the pizza."

Alex stared at her as she picked up one of the booklets and began to read as she drank her beer. He didn't understand why she was doing this. He remembered the expression on her face after learning that Mass Gen wanted her. He remembered how they had celebrated their amazing offers together. He and Kepner were alike in a lot of ways, as much as he hated to admit it. They were both from the middle of fucking nowhere and had worked their butts off to get themselves to this point in their lives. Neither of them had expected to get offers from two of the best programs in the country. They weren't used to being this wanted and they both felt a constant need to prove themselves. For him, that meant going to Hopkins so that he could prove that he was a great surgeon without Robbins. The choice had been hard but obvious, and it was for her too. It was obvious where she wanted to go…where she _needed_ to go.

"Kepner," he said softly, "you want to go to Mass Gen." She ignored him and he got angry. "April!" He yelled.

She lowered the booklet and met his gaze. "Its not that simple," she sighed.

"Because of Avery?" She gave a small nod so he continued. "I get it, even if you weren't together; you guys have always been weirdly close, but this is your career and this is Mass Gen."

She longingly looked at the pamphlet from Mass Gen that Harper Avery had given her. "Yeah, it's Mass Gen," she agreed quietly.

"What's Avery's deal anyway?" He asked curiously.

"He has his reasons." And she fully understood his reasons. The working environment that Jackson depicted and Harper Avery's reputation as a demanding, narcissistic Chief of Surgery did trouble her. However, it was one of the best hospitals in the country and they were fighting for her. It was a hard offer to turn down but she didn't know how she would be able to accept it without hurting Jackson.

"Well, if you turn down Mass Gen make sure it's for _your_ reasons. And in the meantime, tell these other programs what Mass Gen is offering you, get them to up the ante," he advised. It was what Webber had told him to do and it had certainly worked.

"Thanks Alex," she smiled. She knew that he could be a good guy when he wanted to be.

"God," he groaned, "don't get mushy on me."

She shook her head at his reaction as she took a drink from her beer.

They both turned their heads when they heard the front door open and seconds later Jackson appeared in the doorway with his bag over his shoulder. "Hey!"

"Hey man," Alex greeted. "How did that surgery go with Sloan this afternoon?"

"Get me a beer and I'll tell you about it," Jackson bargained with a grin.

Alex accepted the deal and walked into the kitchen.

Jackson dropped his bag on the floor beside the couch and sat down next to his girlfriend.

"I ordered pizza," she told him excitedly.

"Great, I'm starving." He threw his arm around her shoulders and buried his nose in her hair. She smelled delicious. "What are you looking at?" He asked as he looked down at what was in her hands.

"Fellowship stuff."

He placed his hand under her chin and kissed her softly. "We'll figure it out. Me and you."

* * *

**A/N: The Mass Gen conversation is not over, I assure you. Leave me your thoughts please! :)**


	9. Happy Birthday

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I'm not a doctor, or a nurse, or anything in the medical field so forgive any errors. Enjoy the update :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 9 – Happy Birthday**

On the morning of the 23rd, Jackson woke up earlier than usual and miraculously managed to slip out of bed without waking April. He pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before heading to the kitchen.

He was surprised to find Alex awake at the kitchen table. "What are you doing up?"

"Haven't been to sleep yet, I'm just getting home. What are you doing up so early?" He countered.

"I'm going to make April breakfast. It's her birthday," he grinned.

"Dude," Alex laughed. "You are so whipped."

"I'm doing something nice for my girlfriend on her birthday," Jackson argued.

"Kepner has you by the balls," he snickered.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Shut up Karev. Go get some friggin' sleep."

Alex retreated while chuckling but Jackson ignored him and started to grab supplies from the cupboards. He didn't spend a lot of time in the kitchen but he did know how to cook and there were a few things that he could make really well. This morning, he was making April's favourite breakfast food: banana pancakes.

When he finished cooking, he cleaned up before grabbing the breakfast tray that they thankfully owned. He loaded the tray with utensils, a plate containing two banana pancakes, bacon, and fresh fruit, and her coffee.

April awoke at the sound of Jackson's door opening. She rolled over and looked at him standing beside the bed with a tray in his hands. "What is this?" She asked as she sat up.

"Breakfast in bed," he smiled as he placed the tray in her lap. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Happy birthday."

"Jackson, you didn't have to do this."

"I know, but I wanted to." He kissed her head again before he told her that he'd be back in a second. He walked back to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and returned to his bedroom. Before sitting down on the bed next to her, he opened his closet door and pulled something off of the top shelf. "How is your breakfast?" He asked with a smile.

"Delicious. You should cook more often." She eyed him suspiciously as he kept something hidden behind his back. "If you got me a present I'm going to kill you."

He laughed, "It's your thirtieth birthday! I had to get you a present!"

She laid down her fork and knife. "Jackson, you really didn't have to do any of this."

"I know," he said seriously. "So, can you eat your breakfast and open your present and at least pretend to be happy?" He asked with a small laugh.

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Its okay, you're old and crabby now," he joked.

She laughed and shook her head. He had always teased her about the fact that she was five months older than him. She leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. "Thank you," she said before she returned to her pancakes.

Jackson sipped his coffee with a contented smiled.

She finished her breakfast and laid the tray on his bedside table. She smiled excitedly and held out her hands. "Okay, give me my present!" He placed the long, rectangular box in her hands and she looked at it tentatively. She was going to be appreciative but she didn't know if she'd be able to handle it if he got her jewellery. She pulled the top off of the box and stared at its contents. He had gotten her a round trip to Columbus. The dates on the plane tickets said that she would be home for a week. "Jackson," she whispered, "you…"

"Didn't have to do this, I know."

"…are the most unbelievable man," she finished.

"Oh," he grinned happily. "Well, I know that you haven't been home since Thanksgiving and—"

She cut him off by grabbing his face and pulling him in for a kiss. He reached across her and laid his mug on the bedside table as she began to tug his t-shirt upwards. He wrenched it over his head and she pulled him down on top of her.

"I'm glad you like your gift," he muttered as she kissed him.

She dropped kisses down his neck and along his shoulder as she answered him. "I love it. Thank you. And breakfast was delicious."

"You are more than welcome." He tangled a hand in her hair and returned her enthusiasm in a kiss. "You are so beautiful."

She opened her eyes and stared into his. He really was the most unbelievable guy. He was kind, generous, and honest. He treated her with more respect and love than she could have ever hoped for. She ran her nose along his and smiled. So many thoughts were running through her head and one of them slipped out.

"I'm in love with you."

They both stilled. April's arms, which had been wrapped around his shoulders, fell limply to her sides and Jackson slowly raised his head so that he could see her entire face. He pushed himself upwards so that the weight of his body wasn't on her. Her eyes were so wide that it would have been comical in any other situation and her mouth was slack. She recovered quicker than he expected and began to ramble.

"I didn't mean that…well no, I did mean it…I _do_ mean it…but I didn't want to say it like that…I didn't want to just blurt it out in the heat of the moment. I wanted to wait for the right time…ya know…so that we were—"

He silenced her by covering her mouth with his own. He kissed her slowly, lovingly, and then pulled back with a smile. "Calm down. I'm in love with you too April. I've been thinking about saying it for a while," he admitted.

"Me too," she confessed with a laugh.

He continued to look down at her with a dreamy smile as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. He felt slightly relieved to have that out in the open. He could say it all the time now. He kissed her again and they quickly shed their clothes.

* * *

April lay atop of Jackson and continued to kiss him long after they had finished making love. She seemed to be unable to stop kissing him and unable to stop smiling.

"If you never let me leave this bed, I'll be okay with that," Jackson quipped as he stroked her back.

She laughed, "In a few hours we have to go and save lives."

"Right, forgot about that," he replied jokingly.

"But," she kissed him again, "it's my birthday, so we probably have time to do it again before I have to get in the shower."

He grinned as he rolled her beneath him. "We can do it in the shower."

She giggled and leaned forward for yet another kiss but they were interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone.

"That's mine. I should get it," she said regretfully. She blindly reached for his bedside table and found his phone and both of their pagers before finally laying her hand on her own. She looked at the caller ID and quickly, and quite forcefully, pushed Jackson off of her. He looked at her in bewilderment as she sat up and clutched the bed sheet to her chest. "It's my parents," she explained frantically.

"Ohh…" She had been embarrassed when they were fooling around in her office and his Mom had called, so he could only imagine how uncomfortable she was feeling right now. She was about to talk to her parents while sitting in a bed, naked, with her boyfriend who had just given her two orgasms. Her very Christian parents who didn't believe in pre-marital sex…now Jackson was beginning to feel uncomfortable. He lay on his back, closed his eyes, and willed his erection to disappear as he listened to April's conversation.

"Hello," she answered perkily.

"_Good morning, sweetie! Happy birthday!"_

"Thanks Mom."

"_Happy birthday April!"_ A second voice added.

"Hi Daddy."

Jackson groaned and rolled over to bury his face in his pillow. He suddenly felt like he was sixteen again. He had always feared the overprotective father.

"_How has your morning been so far? I can't believe one of my girls is thirty!"_

"Mom," April laughed, "Libby is thirty-three. And my morning has been great so far, Jackson made me breakfast." As she spoke, she reached out and soothingly rubbed Jackson's back. He seemed a little distraught.

"_Well isn't he sweet!"_

"Yes, he is very sweet," she smiled. "And you'll never guess what he got me as a present."

"_What?" _

Jackson couldn't help but laugh a little to himself; it seemed as if April had the same slightly high-pitched voice as her mother.

"He got me a plane ticket home," she explained excitedly. "I fly out the nineteenth and fly back to Seattle the twenty-sixth."

"_Oh! I'm so excited! I'll have to call and tell Alice as soon as I get off the phone with you!"_

"_He's not coming with you, is he?"_ Her father grumbled.

Jackson's eyes opened in interest and he looked at April as he waited for her response.

"Daddy!" She was irritated by her father's attitude. He had always been this way about boys around his daughters but she was the last single Kepner girl, and she had never brought a guy home. "We haven't talked about it but I would like for him to come with me." She looked down at Jackson and smiled shyly. Her family had only visited her in Seattle once and during that visit they had met Charles and Reed but not Jackson, he had been stuck in the ER. But she had told her parents and her sisters enough about him over the years that they should already have a good sense of how much he means to her and how terrific he is, as a person and a doctor.

Jackson sat up with a smile and kissed her shoulder. "I would love to come to Ohio," he whispered.

She smiled back at him as they both heard her mother gush. _"I can't wait to meet him! He sounds very nice, doesn't he, Joe?"_

"_Yeah,"_ her father admitted begrudgingly. _"But didn't you only just start dating him?"_ He added quickly.

"_She's known him for five years Joe!"_

"Um, I think you guys can have this conversation without me," April chuckled. "I should go."

"_Okay, honey. Happy birthday!"_ Her mother repeated.

"Thank you. Bye Mom. Bye Dad." She ended the call and immediately began laughing.

"What's so funny?" Jackson asked curiously.

"My parents," she giggled. "They're crazy. You don't have to meet them if you don't want to. My family can be a little…overwhelming."

"I do," he reassured her. He kissed her shoulder again. "I want to meet your family. They seem nice…well; your Mom seems nice…" Her father sounded absolutely terrifying.

She laughed again and turned her head to kiss him. She pulled back and ran a hand along the side of his face. He actually wanted to meet her family. Her family was very special to her and they were all very close. The image of Jackson on the farm made her smile. Her breathing began to increase as she looked into his eyes. "You really are unbelievable." She had barely gotten the words out of her mouth before she pounced on him.

The suddenness of her movements and her eager mouth on his surprised him but he was not about to question it. "Note to self," he murmured. "Continue to be unbelievable."

* * *

The ER had been slow all day but April wasn't exactly complaining. She loved trauma but they all needed a slow day every once in a while.

"Dr. Kepner," Nurse Angela called. "We have an eighteen-year-old female coming in with head trauma."

"I'll take it," she told her.

April went outside to meet the ambulance. The paramedic hopped out and handed her the chart. "Katherine O'Grady, eighteen, trauma to the head, and a laceration on her forehead. Awake and alert. It happened at school so they had to call an ambulance; her mother is on her way."

The paramedics wheeled the patient into the pit and set her up in a bed.

"Hi Katherine, I'm Dr. Kepner," she said as she pulled on her gloves.

"It's Katie," the patient corrected.

"Okay, Katie," she smiled. "Let's have a look." She shined the pen light in both of her eyes and everything was normal. No signs of a concussion or bleeding in the brain. "Are you having any pain? Nausea?"

"My head hurts," the young girl answered. "And yeah, kinda nauseous."

"Okay, I'll get you something for that."

April had the nurse administer the proper doses of medication before she pulled up a stool and removed the gauze from Katie's forehead. The cut wasn't too deep and the bleeding had already stopped. She would need a few stitches though.

"Is it bad?" The girl asked fearfully.

"You shouldn't even have a scar," April answered cheerfully. "Can I get a suture kit, Angela?" The nurse brought her what she asked for and she set to work. "How did this happen?" She asked conversationally.

"P.E.," Katie groaned. "Only two more months and I'll be done with high school and P.E. Thank God!"

April smiled sympathetically. "Make sure to appreciate your last couple months of high school. After that you're an adult and everything gets much more complicated."

Katie looked up at her sceptically. "I don't mean to be rude or whatever, but you're really pretty so high school was probably actually enjoyable for you. Not so much when you're really clumsy and on the scholastic decathlon team. The most popular guy in school is in my P.E. class, every day is embarrassing."

"Well," April began as she started to suture. "I looked a lot different in high school and I was pretty geeky; does that make you feel better?"

"Yes, it does, continue."

April laughed. "I was way too skinny, really bony. I had long, frizzy hair and huge glasses. I was a mathlete and I won science fairs, and I was also rather clumsy. I tutored the most popular boy in school in Math, Chemistry, Biology, pretty much everything, and most days he couldn't even remember my name."

"Whoa," Katie laughed, "you were a way bigger nerd than me."

"I was," April chuckled. "I really was. It may be a cliché but it does get better. Anybody who does anything worthwhile in life hated high school for some reason. But I miss its simplicity, its familiarity. High school is predictable, the rest of it…not so much."

Katie seemed to think over April's words as she finished her final sutures.

"All done!" She removed her gloves and laid them on the tray. "I'll be back in a second." Before she got to her feet, she whispered, "Oh, and just for the record, you're really pretty."

Katie smiled brightly and April felt that familiar twinge of satisfaction that only a patient could elicit.

She leaned over the counter of the nurses' station to talk to Angela. "Can you tell me when a Mrs. O'Grady gets here?"

"Yes Dr. Kepner," she replied.

"Thank you."

"Hey birthday girl," Jackson smiled as he approached her. "How is it going?"

"I have a patient left to discharge and a few more to check up on but I can meet you guys at Joe's later."

"You sure? I can wait," he offered.

"No, that's okay," she smiled. "Just order me a drink and I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay." He leaned forward and grinned. "I really want to kiss you right now."

"Duly noted," she laughed as she squeezed his hand. "I'll see you later."

When she returned to Katie's bedside she was still laughing to herself. "Okay Katie, I'm just going to bandage you up and then when your Mom gets here you can leave."

Katie looked at her with wide eyes and said, "Please tell me that really hot guy you were just talking to is your boyfriend."

Her cheeks flushed and she smiled. "Actually, he is."

Katie smiled, "It gets better."

"It does get better," April repeated.

* * *

"Don't go overboard just because I'm buying your drinks," Jackson told Alex as the latter started on his third beer of the evening.

"Bad day," Alex explained. "I told Robbins that I'm going to Hopkins."

"How did she take it?" Jackson asked curiously.

"She tried to kick his ass," Lexie laughed. "There was a lot of yelling."

Cristina snickered while Alex sullenly nodded in agreement.

"Well she had a pretty bad day too," Meredith pointed out. "Her friend is dying."

"She's taking me off all my peds cases. She's even pulling me from the trip next week to Boise for the conjoined twins' surgery. I earned that case."

"Teddy's letting me go in her place," Cristina bragged.

Alex sneered and took a large gulp from his mug of beer. "Where is Kepner?" He asked as he looked at the door.

"Maybe big trauma came in," Cristina proposed. "Great birthday present."

Jackson shook his head. "She said that she just had to discharge a patient and do a few post-ops. She'll be here soon."

Jackson smiled brightly when April walked into Joe's minutes later. She slid into the booth next to him and he immediately wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I had to wait for a patient's mother to come and pick her up." She smiled at Jackson as she picked up the glass of scotch he had ordered for her.

The six doctors drank and chatted about their day. As the end of their residency neared, their days were getting shorter and their case loads were getting smaller. Their attendings were making plays to keep them around by allowing them to be lead surgeons on complicated procedures. Hunt was having his staff pull out all the stops and he was matching offers from other hospitals. The only one of them that had made a concrete decision so far was Alex Karev.

"I keep seeing potential fellows touring the hospital and it's weird," Lexie stated. "The idea of you guys all being gone next year is weird."

The table fell silent. It was weird. Seattle Grace Mercy West was much more than just the hospital where they did their residency and they all knew it.

"I'm going to buy the next round," Jackson offered when their glasses were empty.

April stood up to let him out of the booth and he walked up to the bar. He gave the bartender his order and smiled at Lexie when she came to stand beside him.

"Thought I'd help you," she said.

"Thanks."

"You and April are really cute together," Lexie said after a moment. "You seem really happy."

He turned to his ex-girlfriend with a bright smile. "I am. I am really happy."

"You deserve it Jackson," she replied quietly.

He looked at her seriously. "Are you happy, Lex?"

She bit her lip and turned her eyes down towards the bar. She could feel tears stinging the back of her eyes but she was determined not to cry in the middle of Joe's. She felt Jackson's hand on her shoulder and she laughed bitterly to herself. It reminded her of all the reasons why she had wanted to love Jackson but couldn't, and her conversation with Derek a few nights ago was still fresh in her mind.

Her emotional state was so clearly about Mark that it made him frown. "You just gotta tell him if it's making you this miserable," he told her. "He's your soul mate."

She chuckled, "I thought you didn't believe in soul mates."

He leaned on the bar and angled his body so that he could see the booth full of their friends. He smiled as April laughed at something Alex said. "I'm starting to think that for some people maybe there is only one person."

* * *

Jackson laughed as he closed his bedroom door behind him. "I can't believe I just put Alex Karev to bed." The guy had had one too many beers, on his dime, but he did have a rough day.

"It's a really good story," April giggled.

She had already changed for bed and was sitting on his bed in a tank top and shorts. He stripped down to his boxers and sat down behind her so that she was settled between his legs. He started to massage her shoulders and she moaned.

"That feels really good."

He placed his mouth on her ear. "I have a really good set of hands. Sloan says so," he added light-heartedly.

A laugh caught in her throat as he pushed her hair to one side to gain access to her neck. "Tonight was fun," she managed to choke out.

"Yeah it was. I'm glad you enjoyed your birthday." He continued to kiss her neck and knead the muscles in her back. "Hey," he said as a thought struck him. "I overheard you talking to that patient in the pit today, about high school."

He had loved listening to her talk to the young girl. He loved how kind and caring she was with her patients. It had also provided a little more insight into April before they met. He could easily picture her being a mathlete and winning science fairs. She was most definitely the smartest and hardest working individual in her school and he thought that it was adorable. He had been a jock. He had played football, basketball, tennis, and ran track. He had been Homecoming and Prom King. Back then, his family's disinterest in his academics had resulted in him being disinterested as well. He had coasted through high school. He had graduated at the top of his class without even trying. It wasn't until he had gotten into Harvard that he decided that he was going to have to push himself to be the best.

"Katie," she smiled. "She just needed a little cheering up."

"Was what you told her about yourself true?" He asked curiously.

"Oh yeah," she laughed, "embarrassing but completely true. I was a total geek. When I go back home nobody in town recognizes me until I smile." All of the Kepner girls had the same smile, it was hard to miss.

"Really? You can't look that different." He had changed very little since high school and college.

She laughed at his disbelief. "Do you remember me when we were interns?" He hummed so she continued. "I've changed a lot since then."

"Just your hair," he argued.

She ignored him because she did not want to argue. She knew that he hadn't found her that physically attractive when they first met; his eyes had been drawn to other girls. "In high school I was probably thirty pounds lighter. My hair was long, unmanageable. I got laser eye surgery before I started med school, which was probably around the same time that I actually got boobs," she chuckled. "And my nose is different. I'm virtually unrecognizable in Moline now."

"Your nose is different?" He repeated in puzzlement.

She laughed; he was a plastic surgeon so of course he would pick up on that part of her little story. "My second year of my undergrad, I fell down a flight of stairs in my dorm, busted up my nose pretty bad. They had to reconstruct it."

"Huh…"

"Dr. Phillips did great work." She self-consciously placed a hand over her nose. "Please don't size up my nose!"

"I won't," he promised. He slid his hands around to her front and cupped both of her breasts. "These are real though, right?"

"Jackson!"

He laughed, "I'm kidding!" He kissed her neck again. "To be honest, I'm kinda glad that you were such a geek in high school, otherwise we may never have met. You could be married to that guy you tutored." He rested his chin on her shoulder and spoke softly, "I love you."

She turned around and pushed him down until his back hit the mattress. She crawled on top of him and kissed him sweetly on the lips. "I love you too."

* * *

**A/N: Fluffy little chapter before we get into some more serious stuff. Leave me your thoughts please! :)**


	10. You've Earned It

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing the last chapter! There seems to be excitement surrounding Jackson going to Ohio so I should warn you that the trip does not appear in this story. However, there is a sequel in the works. Enjoy the update :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 10 –** **You've Earned It**

On Wednesday, Mark Sloan took Jackson out to lunch. They went to the deli around the corner from the hospital to discuss his fellowship options. They had not had a chance to talk about it yet and the deadline was swiftly approaching. Mark had been distracted, unthinkable things were happening between him, Julia, and Lexie. It was all very confusing so he hadn't been able to concentrate on Avery.

"So, what are you thinking?" Mark asked after they had placed their order.

"First, I just wanna say that I am grateful that you took me under your wing and I am thankful for everything that you've taught me but—"

Mark interrupted him before he had a chance to say anything else. "I get it, Avery. As sad as I am to see the plastics posse breaking up, I understand that you need to spread your wings. You can't be my sidekick forever," he grinned.

Jackson nodded. He was glad that Sloan understood without any further explanation because he owed the older man a lot. He had shaped him as a surgeon. There were procedures that people trusted only him to do and he had tricks that no other plastic surgeon knew, and he had showed them to Jackson. Being Mark Sloan's protégée had opened up a lot of doors for him.

"I am not opposed to coming back to Seattle after my fellowship though," he told him honestly.

Mark smiled, "Good to know."

The waitress brought them their orders and they began to eat.

Mark took the first bite out of his sandwich before he asked, "So which is it? USC, Penn, or Tulane?"

Jackson exhaled a breath and smiled. He and April had talked about it a fair bit but he hadn't revealed his official choice to anyone yet. "Penn."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's a great program," he explained, "and I think that I'll like living in Philly. They have great sports teams, great food. I love cheese steak," he laughed.

"It is a great program and a great city," Mark agreed. "What's Kepner doing?" He asked curiously.

"Mount Sinai," Jackson answered.

"Great hospital, she'll get to do a lot of teaching there."

"Yeah," Jackson smiled. "That's what she likes about it, and she's excited to see New York. Can you believe she's never been there?"

Mark told Jackson some light-hearted stories from when he lived in New York as they finished their meal. However, Mark was a tad concerned. The University of Pennsylvania program was no lightweight but with Tulane and USC in the running; he didn't think Penn had stood a chance. In his opinion, USC was the best program out of the three but he knew that Jackson was afraid to get sucked into the high life of a plastic surgeon in Los Angeles. Tulane was making him the best offer and their program would suit him the best. Andrew Henkle, the Head of Plastics at Tulane, was practically in love with Avery, and he had no doubt that Avery would flourish at Tulane.

It didn't slip past him that Philadelphia was only a two hour drive from New York.

* * *

"Kepner!"

April finished writing in Dr. Torres' surgery on the OR board before she spun around to face a rather irritated looking Miranda Bailey.

"Yes, Dr. Bailey?"

"We need to talk!"

April gulped fearfully. "Okay." Dr. Bailey was the most intimidating attending that she had ever met but it was impossible not to respect her. However, she had no idea what they needed to discuss, she spent nearly all her free time in the pit and she was officially on Torres' service this week.

"Now I know that I didn't raise you like I did with Grey, Karev, and Yang but I still consider you and Avery to be my own."

April smiled softly, "Aww, thank you Dr. Bailey—"

"Shh Kepner! I'm not finished!"

April quickly closed her mouth and listened intently.

"Which is why, as much as it bothers me because I don't want to know any of your business, I can't stand by and watch you turn down such a great opportunity."

"Umm, Dr. Bailey," she began in confusion, "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Mass Gen!" The diminutive doctor yelled in frustration.

April's eyes widened in realization and she stammered. "Oh…" She had told Chief Hunt this morning that she was ninety-nine percent sure that she was picking Mount Sinai for her fellowship and he must have told some of the attendings. "Dr. Bailey—"

"Kepner, Mass Gen is a world-class facility. They hire world-class surgeons, and Hunt told me what they're offering you…its incredible."

"Dr. Bailey, Jackson and I—"

Bailey interrupted her again with a shake of her head. "I know all about Avery's issues with Mass Gen and he's entitled to them. But Kepner, you've come so far since I first met you and you've earned Mass Gen," she said sincerely.

April couldn't help but smile. Bailey was famous for her moments of unbearable kindness and wisdom, but she had only been present for a few over the years. The closest that she had come was when Bailey had gotten really drunk and told her all about Ben and what kind of boy should take her "maiden voyage". However, when she sobered up she had promptly informed April that their conversation had never happened. It was nice to know that Bailey actually did care. One of her favourite attendings cared about her career.

"And Avery's a very nice boy, he cares about you, he should understand that," she added.

"Thank you Dr. Bailey."

Bailey nodded. "Okay." She took a deep breath and changed gears back into the version of herself that loved to pick on her residents. "Wherever you go, don't embarrass me!"

April chuckled, "I won't Dr. Bailey."

* * *

April slowly opened the door to one of the on-call rooms on the second floor and was roughly pulled inside by two strong hands. She regained her footing and pushed back the hair that had fallen in her face.

"You paged, Dr. Sloan?" She asked awkwardly. To say that she was uncomfortable being in an on-call room with Mark Sloan was an understatement. She was one of a handful of female doctors in the hospital that he hadn't slept with. And she vividly remembered her last private conversation with him and how she had ran away.

Sloan gestured towards the bed in the room. "Sit down Kepner. We need to talk about our boy."

"Umm…our boy?" She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked up at Sloan in confusion.

He sat down next to her as he replied, "Our boy…Avery."

April laughed at Sloan's paternalistic tendencies towards Jackson but nodded. "Okay, what about him?"

"I took him out for lunch today to talk about his future and he told me that he's choosing Penn."

She was a little surprised but not completely taken aback. He had been leaning towards Penn for days now but last night he said that he was going to wait another day before telling Sloan. "Did he?"

"Yes," Sloan nodded. "And I think he's making the wrong choice. Tulane is the best program for him."

April agreed with Sloan. She also thought that Tulane was the best program for Jackson; she remembered how happy he had been after his interview. Lately, however, he'd been adamant about Penn. "Did you tell him you think Tulane is the best choice? He really values your opinion."

"No, I didn't."

She tilted her head in confusion. "Why not? Why are you telling me?"

"Because he's choosing Penn for you, because it's so close to New York."

April's face fell. "Oh." She smoothed out imaginary wrinkles in her scrub pants and avoided eye contact for a moment in order to collect herself before she spoke again. "And you want me to what…tell him not to do that?"

Sloan sighed, she was misunderstanding him. "Look Kepner, I'm not saying that you should break up with him, the opposite in fact. I like the two of you together. Avery is the happiest I've ever seen him. Just talk to him about Tulane."

She nodded. Of course she would talk to him about Tulane. She couldn't be the one that held Jackson back in his career. She wouldn't be able to forgive herself. After the merger, he had gone through a really rough time in their new environment until he found plastics. He needed to make the right choices now or all that hard work would have been for nothing.

"Yeah, I'll talk to him."

Sloan grinned and got to his feet. "Perfect Kepner." Before he left the room, he looked at her and added, "By the way, I'm surprised you're not going to Mass Gen."

When she was alone, she fell back onto the bed and groaned. "Isn't everyone," she said to herself.

* * *

Later that night, April waited in Jackson's bed while he was in the washroom. She lay on her back with an arm across her eyes. She took a deep breath as she tried to plan out what she was going to say to him. A part of her wanted to be selfish and keep her mouth shut. They were in a good place. They were really happy. But she knew that she couldn't, she had to say something, she had too big of a conscious not to.

He walked into the room with that goofy grin on his face and she almost started to cry.

"I talked to Sloan today," he announced with a smile as he climbed into bed.

"Oh yeah?" She asked nonchalantly.

"He took it well."

"That's good." He lay down on his back and she immediately rolled into his side. She rested her chin on his chest and peered up at him. "Will you do something for me?"

"Anything," he answered as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Go to Tulane," she whispered.

His brow furrowed in confusion. Surely he must have misheard her. "What?"

"Go to Tulane," she repeated louder.

"Why?"

"Tulane is such a great program for you and you were so excited about it but now you're choosing Penn. I just want to make sure that you're making the right decision for _you_," she explained. "That you're choosing Penn for your reasons."

He sat up and forced her to as well. "The right decision for me? I'll admit that Penn being so close to New York is a major factor but its not like it's a second rate program, it's a top program."

"But you want to go to Tulane," she argued, "you have since your interview."

Tulane was his first choice, that much was true, but choosing Penn was not going to ruin his career. It was an excellent program and _so close_ to New York.

"Tulane is in New Orleans," he pointed out.

"Yeah, I know," she stated sadly.

"If I live in New Orleans and you live in New York then we'll never see each other. So, what? You want to have a long-distance relationship for _two years_?" He was growing more frustrated and angry and it was apparent in his voice.

She defended herself quickly, "It's not a completely ridiculous idea! We could make it work. Absence makes the heart grow fonder," she said with a forced laugh.

"I don't believe in long-distance relationships," he told her.

"Well I don't believe in pre-marital sex but here we are!" She yelled.

He flinched at her words. "Don't do that," he spat. "You know how guilty I felt when you told me about that and then you said it was okay! Don't throw that back at me now when you said it was okay!"

They had rarely fought when they were just friends, insignificant arguments here and there but never anything that caused a rift between them. Their first real fight had occurred in a men's restroom in a San Francisco hotel. They had yelled at each other until she had said something to ground him, and this time it happened in reverse.

April hung her head in shame. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. She shouldn't use her virginity as a weapon. "I shouldn't have said that…I'm sorry."

He cradled her face in his hands and rubbed their noses together. She liked it when he did that.

After a long silence he asked, "Why do you want me to go all the way to New Orleans?"

"I want what's best for you," she whispered. "Relationships are about sacrifices aren't they? You've earned Tulane, you need to go." She placed her lips against his but he pulled away. "What?" She asked in confusion.

He took a deep breath. "April, is this about Mass Gen?"

"What?"

"Is this the part where I'm supposed to say that you've earned Mass Gen and you should go?" He questioned as his voice increased in volume.

"Jackson, I'm not trying to manipulate you!" She was upset that he thought that she would even try and she hated it when he yelled. "Although everyone thinks I'm an idiot for turning them down because _I have earned it_!" She added out of frustration.

He hopped off of the bed and began to pace. "Yeah, like who?"

"Cristina! Alex! Sloan! Bailey! Everyone in the whole freakin' hospital!" She was now on her feet as well. "I understand why you don't want me to go, I do, but I'd like to think that you'd support me if I did decide to go." She watched him pinch the bridge of his nose and struggle to find words and her heart sank. "You wouldn't, would you?" She asked as tears stung the back of her eyes. "You wouldn't support me if I chose Mass Gen?"

He could see how upset she was getting and it was killing him. "April, you know why I don't—" He abruptly stopped talking when she wiped tears from her eyes. "April."

He took a step towards her but she took a firm step backwards. "You love me but you can't support me in a decision that's good for my career? Then what are we even doing here Jackson? If we can't support each other?"

She started to walk away but he grabbed her by the arm. He felt a tightening in his chest that he wasn't used to. He was scared and panicking, and as a result, he spoke without thinking. "If you love me even half as much as I love you then we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Her eyes widened. "Don't presume to know how much I love you! I loved you when you were busy falling for a girl who had no hope of ever loving you back!" She yanked her arm out of his grasp and stormed out of his bedroom.

He quickly followed her out into the hallway. "April, come on…what I said…I didn't mean…don't just walk away…"

She stopped and slowly turned around to face him. She was still crying and he couldn't resist the urge to envelop her in his arms. He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too," she murmured against his chest. "I'm sorry too."

They stood in the middle of the hallway, between their rooms, with their arms wrapped around each other for a long time. Jackson wasn't sure what else to say, he just wanted to hold her.

She was the first one to speak and it was to say what neither of them wanted to hear. But everything was slowly becoming too much for her. Too much too soon.

"I don't think this is going to work, as much as we want it to."

He closed his eyes and squeezed her even tighter. This was what he had been afraid of…that their looming fellowships would get in the way of their new relationship. He knew that even if he lived in Philadelphia and she lived in New York it would still be difficult.

He reluctantly let her go and she stepped out of his reach. "April, I…" He was trying to tell her that he loved her more than he had ever loved anyone but his throat seemed to close on him.

She smiled sadly. "I know. Me too."

She walked into her bedroom and he just stared as she closed the door behind her.

* * *

**A/N: This is a Grey's fic, there has to be some drama. Please review! :)**


	11. Me and You

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Enjoy the update :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 11 – Me and You**

April cried into her pillow. She felt pathetic and weak but she didn't care. She had to cry about this. She _needed_ to cry about this. She didn't even know that it was possible to feel this way about someone. It was devastating enough that she had just broken up with the man she was in love with but she may have just lost her best friend as well. She ached to talk to her best friend right now and it made her cry even harder. He had always been there for her.

For some reason, the only thing that she could hear in her head was his voice saying, "Me and you." He had said it in San Francisco. He had said it recently when they were talking about their fellowships. It was a phrase he used frequently. It was the phrase that had cemented their bond after the shooting.

* * *

"_Are you okay?"_

_The voice behind her startled her and her heart hammered in her chest. She turned around and smiled weakly at her friend. "Jackson, you scared me."_

"_I'm sorry," he apologized as he awkwardly slipped his hands into his pockets. He looked around the residents' locker room and felt slightly out of sorts to be in a suit. His eyes found April again, standing in front of Reed's locker in her conservative black dress. _

_They had just left Reed's funeral and he had followed her to make sure that she got home okay, but she had taken a detour to Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. He knew that the funeral had been really hard on her and he was surprised to find her here of all places._

"_What are you doing?" He asked softly._

"_I'm getting Reed's things for her parents. They can't…they can't come in here…so I said I would…"_

"_Here, let me help." He moved to stand beside her and began to take things out of Reed's locker and place them in the bag that April had brought._

_He watched her hands shake before she began to openly sob. He swiftly pulled her into his arms and began to stroke her hair. He had been waiting for her to cry like this. She had been a source of support for Reed's parents since they had come to town and she had not had a chance to grieve since the day of the shooting. She had been the one to find Reed in that supply closet. She felt responsible for Shepherd being shot. Yang had told him the story of how she had talked the shooter out of killing her. He had used brains and quick thinking; April had poured her heart out. She was a lot stronger than people thought she was but she needed to cry now and he was willing to let her do so in his arms._

"_It's okay. It's okay," he repeated in soft, soothing tones. "We're going to be okay."_

_She fisted her hands in the back of his suit jacket and cried even harder into his chest. "I can't believe they're gone."_

"_Me either."_

_Charles and Reed were gone. They were still here. It was hard to feel happy about being alive when their best friends were dead. Survivor's guilt, they called it. _

_They had buried them and it all still seemed like some crazy dream. They were all each other had now and he knew that their bond from Mercy West would be unbreakable now._

"_We're going to get through this," he whispered. "Me and you." _

* * *

Jackson tossed and turned in his bed. He knew that sleep was impossible, her smell surrounded him yet he was alone. They were done. It didn't seem real. He had finally felt like everything in his life was perfectly in place and then their careers had to go and ruin it. One of the reasons that he had broken up with Lexie was for his career but this was entirely different. He knew that the girl in the room next door loved him and broke up with him so that he had no choice but to go to Tulane.

He still didn't like the idea of her working at Mass Gen and she was right, he should at least be able to be a little supportive.

They had both said things that they didn't mean and he wished that he could take it all back. It wasn't the first time that he had wished for that in regards to her.

* * *

"_Come in!"_

_Jackson turned the doorknob and stepped into April's bedroom. She was reading on her bed in a set of flannel pyjamas and she seemed very surprised to see him._

"_Hey Jackson."_

_He shifted his feet nervously and stared at the floor._

"_Um Jackson?" She called. "Why are you here?"_

"_I want to apologize," he replied as he sat down on the edge of her bed._

"_For what?" She asked in confusion._

"_For picking on you like the others," he clarified. He truly felt like a terrible person, a terrible friend. He was no better than Karev. "There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. Absolutely no shame."_

"_Uh, okay. Thank you." She closed the book in front of her and met his gaze. "And I'm sorry for telling everyone about your nightmares. That's personal."_

_He shook his head. "That's not nearly as bad as what I did to you." He had been more surprised by the fact that she heard him having nightmares than anything else and yes, he had been a little embarrassed but what he had done to her was so much worse. "It's smart to wait," he added. "To be sure that you're not rushing anything—"_

_She put her hand up to signal for him to stop talking. Her face was flushed and she looked at everything in the room except for him. "We really don't have to talk about this. In fact," she laughed awkwardly, "I'd prefer if we didn't."_

"_Okay," he nodded. "I understand." He slowly got to his feet. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for acting like a jerk."_

_She finally smiled at him. "Thank you Jackson."_

* * *

She remembered the first time that she realized how much he cared about her and how much she truly cared about him. He was always the first one to defend her in any situation but the night of Cristina and Owen's housewarming party had changed everything. It was the night that she had started to fall for him.

* * *

_Jackson sat at the island in Meredith and Derek's kitchen and drank from his beer as she found an ice pack in the refrigerator. Lexie had already iced his hand at the party but it was still swelling._

"_You could have really hurt your hand," she chastised as she placed the ice pack on his bruised knuckles. "Or gotten fired."_

_He winced but covered it by taking another sip from his bottle of beer. "It was worth it. That guy is an ass." _

_He had been feeling useless lately, like less of a doctor. Today, he had lost a patient and yelled at Bailey. He had already had one too many shots of alcohol when April arrived and hearing what had happened to her had just sent him over the edge. He had gotten a lot of satisfaction from repeatedly punching Alex Karev in the face._

"_If I had known that you were going to have such a violent reaction I wouldn't have told you," she told him honestly._

"_Why?" He asked in annoyance. "You don't still think he's a good guy do you?" She opened her mouth to argue but he didn't give her a chance. So he was good in peds, that didn't make him a nice guy. "Come on April. He doesn't deserve you. You are way too good for him."_

_She avoided his gaze and repositioned the ice pack on his hand. "Luckily nothing's broken," she murmured._

"_April, look at me," he demanded._

_She sighed and tried to appear irritated when she finally made eye contact with him. "Please don't say I told you so."_

_He ignored her. "You are way too good for him," he restated firmly. "You are smart, and kind, and beautiful." He drank the last drop of his beer before he stood up and wrapped one arm around her shoulders to pull her body into his. "And I'll gladly beat the crap out of any guy that doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Okay?"_

"_Okay," she chuckled._

_He kissed her on the top of the head before he let her go. He placed the ice pack back in the refrigerator. "Forget about Karev," he told her before he turned around._

"_Jackson, wait!" She called out to him before he had a chance to leave the kitchen._

_He quickly spun back around. "Yeah?"_

"_Thank you," she said softly._

"_Anytime," he grinned._

_When she was left alone in the kitchen, she smiled to herself. She was so lucky to have Jackson in her life. He was the only guy that she had ever trusted unconditionally. Nobody had ever punched someone over her, it was strangely gratifying. It was nice to know that someone cared about her that much. It was nice to know that Jackson cared about her that much. _

* * *

He remembered the first time that he had thought about her as more than just a friend. It had totally freaked him out.

He had started to think about her…inappropriately…and it just so happened to coincide with the time that they were studying for their Boards so he had a good distraction. But he knew that was why he'd had such a hard time resisting her advances in San Francisco, those thoughts and feelings had already been present on his end. He just hadn't known that she felt the same way about him. She had never given him any indication.

* * *

"_Dude, I wouldn't go in there," Karev warned as Jackson headed for the kitchen._

"_Why? What's going on?" Jackson asked confused._

"_She's PMS-ing big time. I'm going to Joe's, you should come."_

"_No, that's okay. You go. I'm going to try to figure out what's wrong."_

_Karev looked at him like he was crazy and promptly grabbed his jacket and keys._

_Jackson took a deep breath before he walked into the kitchen and found April cleaning the top of the stove. It was always a bad sign when she took on a serious cleaning project this late at night._

"_Hey April."_

"_Hi Jackson."_

_She replied to him cheerily enough but she was cleaning with much more force than necessary. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and he could see that her cheeks were flushed from exertion._

"_What did the stove do to you?" He joked. She turned her head to glare at him and he stopped laughing immediately. "Um okay." He scratched his chin awkwardly as he took a step towards her. "Did you have a bad day?" He asked quietly._

"_Nope. I didn't have a bad day," she answered sharply._

"_Then what's going on?"_

_She dropped the scrub pad that she was using and turned to him. She angrily blew her bangs out of her face before she said something that completely shocked him._

"_Mark Sloan asked me to have sex with you today."_

"_He what?" Jackson wasn't sure which emotion to settle on. He was confused, stunned, and angry. Definitely angry. He was going to kill Sloan. Sloan meddled in his life almost as much as his mother._

"_Well, he didn't actually ask," she continued heatedly. "He more or less suggested…no, he encouraged…that we have sex so that we're less stressed out about our Boards."_

_She returned to viciously scrubbing the stove while he stood in silence. Sloan had tried to set him up twice today but he would have never thought that the man would be bold enough to ask his best friend to be his fuck buddy. He didn't want to date. He didn't want a girlfriend. And it wasn't because he was still in love with Lexie; he just wasn't ready to put himself out there again. But a little voice in the back of his head was telling him that he wouldn't have to do that with April. She already knew him, and knew him well. He trusted April._

"_Huh…"_

_April stopped scrubbing again and quickly rounded on him. "Huh? All you have to say is huh? He told me to take one for the team!"_

_Jackson quickly snapped out of it and answered her calmly. "I have been a little stressed out lately," he admitted. "And Sloan is Sloan; he thinks that getting laid solves all your problems. I'm sorry he involved you."_

_She exhaled heavily, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't even be mad at you. I'm just worked up."_

_He tried his hardest not to mentally turn her phrase into a sexual innuendo but it was impossible with where his mind was at the moment. He closed his eyes and cleared his throat before he asked, "Do you want a beer, maybe?"_

"_Yeah," she nodded. "Maybe that's a good idea." She tossed her scrub brush in the nearby bucket and removed her cleaning gloves._

_Jackson walked towards the refrigerator but turned around and took a moment to watch her as she leaned on the stove, with her back to him, and took a deep breath. His eyes slowly moved over her body and he wasn't proud of it. He knew that she was small but he had never noticed how slender her waist was or how strong her calves looked, or how…_

"_Shit, those pants are really tight," he muttered to himself._

_She looked at him over her shoulder. "Did you say something?"_

_He shook his head and cleared his throat. "Uh no." He opened the refrigerator door and grabbed two bottles of beer. "She's your friend and she's a virgin," he told himself under his breath. If that dose of reality didn't kill his inappropriate thoughts then nothing would._

_The next day…_

"_Morning Avery," Sloan greeted cheerfully. "How are we feeling today?"_

"_Not good. We need to talk." Jackson pulled Sloan aside and got right to the point. "If you weren't an attending I would beat the crap out of you."_

"_Whoa. What did I do?"_

_Jackson pointed his index finger at him and spoke in a harsh, angry whisper. "You told April to have sex with me!"_

"_Oh…that…" Sloan at least had the decency to look a little ashamed. "Well, I just figured," he tried to explain, "that I used to sleep with my best friend all the time, most stable relationship I've ever had."_

_Jackson rolled his eyes. "Well April and I are strictly friends," he declared firmly. "I don't look at her like that." Until very recently, he thought to himself._

"_You should," Sloan chuckled. "It's surprisingly good. Nice lips, very kissable. Nice skin. Nice, long hair. Very nice—"_

"_Okay stop! Just stop!"_

_Sloan laughed devilishly, "You're looking at her like that now, aren't ya?"_

"_I am not," Jackson lied fiercely before he stormed away. _

_Three days later…_

_Jackson entered his apartment and was surprised to be greeted by a very awake April._

"_Hey! Oh you look nice," she smiled at him in his tuxedo. "How was the benefit?"_

"_I didn't go," he murmured as he walked into the living room and fell back onto the couch._

"_Ohh…okay." She sat down next to him and began to chatter excitedly. "I did a surgery with Dr. Sloan today, you'll love it! We…"_

_He tried to pay attention to what she was saying but it was useless. It had been a bad day. He was upset with his mother for snooping into his life yet again. He had lashed out at April for thinking that she had something to do with it. He had been annoyed by Dr. Mara Keaton for the majority of the day. And then he had gone and slept with Mara, which was supposed to improve his mood but it had the exact opposite effect. Somewhere in the middle of his tryst with Mara, olive skin had turned pale and dark hair had changed to red. He felt like a complete jerk and a really bad friend. He had no idea why he was having these thoughts about April now. It had never been a problem before. _

_Now, he was sitting on the couch with her and he was watching her lips move but he was unable to process a word she was saying. He smiled and nodded but he was paying attention to the way her eyes lit up and how her hair framed her face. His gaze strayed to her chest and he just couldn't stop staring. She was wearing a simple, v-neck sweater and she had unbelievably perfect breasts. He just wanted to… _

_And now he felt like a perv._

"_Pretty cool, huh?" She finished with a bright smile._

_He nodded his head in agreement and smiled back at her. "Yeah, pretty cool."_

* * *

Jackson was starting to think that maybe they had rushed things. They had rushed things in San Francisco. This was her first serious relationship and it had gone too fast. Maybe they had said I love you too soon, or had sex too often, or didn't talk enough. No, they hadn't rushed things and nothing else had been wrong with them either. He just needed to discover another reason why they were breaking up besides their careers.

* * *

They both had a hard time dealing with the end of their relationship when they couldn't stop thinking about how it had begun.

* * *

"_And if something feels really_ really_ good…it can't be bad, right?"_

"_I…uh…" He wanted to say yes so badly. He had been fantasizing about her for weeks, and the way that she was kissing him now…but she was his best friend. His virginal best friend._

"_Jackson. Hey…" His eyes snapped back to hers and they were bright and excited. "It's okay…" She bit down on her bottom lip. "Really…it's okay…"_

_She barely had the words out of her mouth before they were kissing again and he was wrapping his arms around her waist to carry her into the room. They stumbled inside and he managed to close the door behind him. They didn't even bother to turn on the light. Luckily, the curtains were open and the lights of San Francisco illuminated the room._

_At first everything happened so fast that he barely had time to think about anything besides the way her lips felt against his. His sweater and t-shirt, and her shirt and tank top came off in a flurry of movement. Then she unbuckled his belt. She stepped out of his reach and he thought for sure that she was going to tell him that she had changed her mind. Instead, she kicked off her shoes and walked towards the bed. She pulled down the covers and turned to him with a smile._

_She was still buzzing with adrenaline and didn't feel nervous at all, not like she had expected to. He seemed more nervous than she did. "What is it?" She asked._

_He didn't respond. He stepped out of his sneakers, pulled off his socks, and finished taking his pants off before he stalked towards her. He placed a hand on the small of her back and slowly slid it upward until it tangled in her hair. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he took a moment to really look at her. Her eyes were darker than he had ever seen them, she was flushed, her breathing was uneven, and she was staring back at him with a confidence he didn't even know she had. She was anxious, in a good way, and she wanted him just as much as he wanted her._

_He cradled her face and his lips sought hers out hungrily. She fell back onto the bed and she moaned at the pleasant feeling of his body atop of hers. _

_He pulled away from her mouth to kiss along her jaw and down her neck. One spot in particular seemed to cause a rather pleasant reaction so he lingered there as he felt her short fingernails dig into his shoulders. He was more committed than usual to foreplay because it was her first time. He wanted to make sure that he helped her figure out exactly what she liked. That spot on her neck was a winner. He moved one hand to caress her breast and she gasped at the sensation and locked her legs around his waist. He grinned at her reaction and lifted her into his arms so that he could set her down in the middle of the bed._

_April felt hot all over. She had never felt like this before, not even before her time with Alex had turned disastrous. She had never felt so wanton, so out of control. She blamed the adrenaline from fighting that guy and the glass of wine she had with dinner, and the fact that Jackson was so gorgeous that it was hard to be in the same room with him sometimes. His eyes and his smile. His skin. His arms. His chest. His mouth and his hands were doing wonderful things to her body, and she desperately wanted another barrier between them to be removed._

_While his tongue slowly explored her mouth, she reached between them and unbuttoned her jeans. His right hand caught hers and helped her tug down the zipper. He slid down her body, planting kisses along the way, and pulled her jeans off of her legs._

_Her panties were white cotton and they matched her bra. Simple. Practical. Very April. And they reminded him of how innocent she was and he felt a tad uneasy. However, it was in that moment that she pulled him back up for a passionate kiss and rolled them over so that he was lying underneath her. Whatever he was thinking disappeared when she seductively moved her lower body against his erection._

_He groaned into her mouth, "April." She smiled against his lips and did it again. She knew exactly what she was doing to him._

_One of his hands latched onto her backside while the other deftly unclasped her bra. She pulled the straps down and tossed the garment aside without breaking their kiss. He felt her breasts against his chest, skin on skin, and he shuddered. He had been thinking about his best friend's chest way too frequently as of late. He flipped her onto her back and dropped his mouth down to her collarbone. He laid a hand on her thigh and slowly inched it higher._

_He looked up at her and whispered tentatively. "Have you…has anyone ever…?"_

_She shook her head and he was unsurprised by her answer. She smiled at him and he took that as permission to discard her last remaining article of clothing._

_She tilted her head back on the pillow and marvelled at his touch as she tried to regulate her breathing. His fingers were confident yet gentle as he probed her center. She squirmed beneath him when his thumb increased pressure on her bundle of nerves. His lips were preoccupied with her breast, and even though that felt beyond amazing, she really needed to kiss him. She placed both of her hands on the sides of his face and roughly guided his mouth back to hers._

_She sucked on his bottom lip and whimpered. "Jackson…please…" She had no idea what she was begging for but she knew that he held the key._

_Jackson brushed her hair out of her face with his free hand and lightly touched his lips to hers. "Relax. Don't fight it." She was incredibly sensitive and responsive and it wouldn't be much longer before…_

_She cried out his name as her body tightened and her back arched. Waves of pleasure swept over her and it was abundantly clear that she had never felt anything like that before either. Not even close._

_Jackson just watched her as she came down from the high of her first orgasm. He slowly eased his fingers out of her and massaged her hip. She was beautiful, and she had absolutely no idea. He had never felt so satisfied and content after giving a woman pleasure, and he knew that if she told him that she didn't want to go through with it and have sex with him, he'd be okay. He would be disappointed, but he would be okay. He just wanted her to be happy._

_He was brought out of his thoughts when she kissed him again. Her hands moved from his shoulders, down over his chest, and settled on the waistband of his boxer briefs. She pushed them down over his hips without any hesitation. He didn't even have time to ask if she was sure._

"_I wanna be on top," she told him boldly._

_He grinned at her. She continued to surprise him. He kissed her again before he hopped off of the bed. He kicked off his boxers and found his jeans on the floor. He retrieved the condom that he kept in his wallet, just in case, and quickly rejoined her underneath the sheets of the bed._

_April couldn't help but stare at him as he moved around the room. His penis was just as perfect as the rest of him. When he was lying beside her again, she took a few minutes to kiss him a little more and run her hand along his length before she climbed on top of him. She took a deep, calming breath as she gradually encircled him._

_Jackson watched her face carefully as she closed her eyes and grimaced at the discomfort she felt when he was fully inside her. He carefully sat up and cupped the back of her skull as his lips found the spot on her neck that he had discovered earlier. He hated that she was in any form of pain. "Take a deep breath," he told her caringly. "And just wait a second, its going to feel really good soon. I promise." It already felt incredible for him. He fit perfectly inside of her._

_She took another deep breath, as he suggested, before she kissed him quite assertively. Her lips were urgent and enthusiastic and he fully returned her desire. She experimentally swivelled her hips and he smiled into the kiss. He fell back onto the mattress and placed his hands firmly on her hips to help guide her movements._

_He gazed up at her and his breath caught in his throat. One of her hands was on his stomach but the other was tangled in her messy, auburn hair. Her mouth was slightly apart and her eyes were wide, full of lust and awe. She was gorgeous, stunning, and sexy as hell, and he wondered why they hadn't done this sooner. _

_God, he was such an idiot. _

_Jackson had no idea if this would be a one time thing or not, but the image of her moving above him would be burned in his mind for a very long time._

_April could only explain the moments that followed as life altering. In the aftershocks of their orgasms, she had a startling moment of clarity. She finally felt free from everything that ever held her back as a doctor, and a woman. It was liberating. _

_He pulled the bed sheet up to cover them and she kissed him one last time to express how much she cared about him and how thankful she was to have him in her life. They shared a smile and she rolled onto the other side of the bed._

_Jackson panted and waited for her to react first. He was sort of speechless and his only thought was that he wanted to do it again. Then he smiled when he heard her breathless laughter._

"_Okay," he began shakily. "That was really great…" _

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this special edition flashback chapter! Leave me your thoughts! :)**


	12. Time and Space

**A/N: Thanks to this story's faithful readers and reviewers. Enjoy the update :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 12 –** **Time and Space**

The next morning, Mark found Jackson in the conference room on the eighth floor. He took a seat at the table next to him and looked at him curiously.

"What are you doing in here?"

Jackson motioned to the stack of charts beside him. "Just wanted a quiet place to chart," he answered simply.

Mark absentmindedly thrummed his fingers on the tabletop. "So, I was wondering if you're going to tell Hunt your fellowship decision today or tomorrow morning."

"Probably tomorrow morning," he replied as his eyes never left the chart he was working on.

"Why? Are you reconsidering Penn?" Mark questioned hopefully.

"April wants me to go to Tulane."

His voice held none of the excitement that Mark had anticipated. "What's wrong with that?"

Jackson punctuated the sentence he was finishing with an aggressive period. He finally raised his head and met Sloan's eyes. He was pissed, that much was obvious.

"She broke up with me," he revealed.

"She what?" Mark was shocked, to say the least, and he felt responsible. "Why would she do that?"

"She's pushing me away," he said quietly. "She thinks that Tulane is what's best for me and she knows that I won't go to Tulane if we're still together. And she's upset that I won't be able to support her if she goes to Mass Gen."

Mark leaned back in his chair and ran a hand over his face. "Shit! I'm so sorry Avery. I asked her to talk to you about Tulane," he confessed.

Jackson glared at his mentor. "You what?" His voice was low and menacing, very dangerous.

"Tulane is the best program for you but I don't want you to ruin your relationship with Kepner over it."

"I can't believe you did that! I could—"

Mark held his hands up defensively. "I'm sorry! I didn't think she was going to do this! I specifically told her _not_ to break up with you! We are going to fix this," he told the younger man calmly. "What are you going to do?" He asked after he took a deep breath. "You do want her back, right?"

"Of course I do!" He exclaimed in frustration. "It's just…"

Jackson reflected on his morning and frowned. He had walked into the kitchen to find April cooking breakfast. She had smiled at him, said good morning, and poured him a cup of coffee. She had acted as if they hadn't fought, as if they hadn't broken up…as if they hadn't been together at all. He should have predicted it. Whenever something bad happened, she either broke down entirely or overcompensated by acting happier than usual. She believed that if she acted happy than maybe she could actually be happy. He had always found it endearing and optimistic, but this morning her behaviour had made him angry, and frustrated, and it broke his heart.

"She's acting as if nothing happened. Like we went back in time and are just friends."

"So, what are you going to do?" Mark asked forcefully.

"I dunno…I…I dunno…I just _don't know_…" He hadn't even thought about how he could change her mind about them, he had been too busy dealing with his emotional response.

"Well, are you going to go to Tulane? Is she still picking Mount Sinai or is she going to go with Mass Gen?"

"Stop asking me so many questions!" Jackson shouted in frustration.

"Sorry," Mark apologized quietly. "Its just, take it from me, you don't want to wake up one day and think that you have everything you've ever wanted and realize that you're still in love with the girl you left behind when you decided to chase your dreams."

Jackson looked at Mark sadly and forgot about his own problems for a moment. "What's going on with you and Lexie? Are you still with Julia?"

"Its complicated," he answered honestly. He told Avery exactly what he had told Derek in the elevator this morning. "Julia wants everything that I want but I'm in love with Lexie, who doesn't want anything that I want."

"That sucks," Jackson murmured. "I'm sorry."

Mark smiled at him weakly before he rerouted the conversation. "So, let's get back to you and Kepner. You might have to get over this whole Mass Gen thing," he said bluntly.

Jackson sighed. "I'm not being childish about this. She thinks that Tulane is the best choice for me, I don't think that Mass Gen is the best choice for her."

"Okay then." They were at least getting somewhere. "Then where do you think is best for her?"

"Honestly?" Mark nodded. "UVA." And he had told her days ago that his vote was for UVA but she liked Mount Sinai.

"Okay. Why?" He probed.

"They're matching everything that Mass Gen is offering her. It's a smaller hospital in a smaller city so I think she'll feel more comfortable there. They want to use her checklist system, and they're researching less invasive ways to treat gunshot wounds and they want her to assist."

"That's amazing." Mark was a little surprised that he hadn't heard about this before but there was a lot of hype surrounding Mass Gen, Mount Sinai, and Case Western Reserve so it's possible that UVA had just slipped through the cracks. He took a moment before he jumped to his next question. "Would you consider a long-distance relationship?"

"She brought it up and I told her that I don't believe in long-distance relationships," he admitted with a grimace.

"You idiot!" Mark yelled.

"Hey!" Jackson shouted back defensively.

Mark lowered his voice. "Well, you are! If you love her…really love her…then you can make a long-distance relationship work. It will be hard; I'm not saying it won't."

Jackson smiled a little to himself. "I know that we weren't even going out for two weeks but she's my best friend and I've known her for five years. Just seeing her makes my day better. I've told her things that I've never even thought about telling other people. I want to take her places and buy her presents for no reason," he laughed. "I want to actually let her get to know my family. I think about the future with her and I don't think that there's anyone else for me."

Mark smiled proudly as he observed his pupil's faraway expression. He knew that Kepner and Avery were good together and he needed to help them get through this, it was pretty much his fault that they had broken up. "Tell her that. Tell her everything you just told me. And," he grinned, "tell her that long-distance relationship sex is the best. Lots of phone sex too."

"You are a teenager," Jackson laughed.

"I'm right," Mark smirked. "Now, go talk to her."

Jackson did as he was told and left his charts in the conference room with Sloan. He took the elevator down to the third floor. He ran into Karev and asked him quickly, "Have you seen April?"

"She's in her office. What's going on with you two?" He had heard them arguing last night and he was slightly worried, they never argued about anything.

Jackson ignored his question. "Thanks Karev," he called out before running down the hallway.

He knocked on her closed office door and barged inside before she had a chance to respond. He quickly closed the door behind him. She sat at her desk and appeared shocked and flustered by his appearance. She swallowed nervously as he locked the door.

"Hey Jackson, what's going on?"

"We need to talk," he declared firmly.

"About?"

He sighed in frustration. "Stop pretending that nothing happened."

She got up out of her chair and walked around to the front of her desk. "I'm sorry," she said almost inaudibly. "I know it's not healthy but it's so much easier." Pretending was the only way that she wouldn't cry…all the time.

He smiled wryly. "It would be easier if we just hadn't broken up." He stalked towards her and caught her off guard with a passionate kiss. He tangled a hand in her hair and gently sucked on her bottom lip before pulling away, but only a fraction of an inch. He opened his eyes and smiled as he rubbed his nose against hers. "You are more important to me than any fellowship offer," he breathed. "And I don't want to lose you. If you want me to go to Tulane then I will and if you need to go to Mass Gen then I will support you. I just want you and we can make long-distance work." He kissed her again. "I love you."

She fisted her hands in his scrub top at his sides. "I love you too," she murmured, "but…"

He wiped away the tears that fell from her eyes and looked down at her in concern. "But what? What's wrong?"

The Tulane and Mass Gen debate wasn't the only reason that she had told Jackson that she didn't think things were going to work out between them. She was scared, conflicted…she just felt overwhelmed. She needed time to herself to think.

"Its not just Tulane and Mass Gen. You're ready to give up everything for me and I don't know if I'm ready for that," she said regretfully. "You are the only person that I've ever felt this way about but I don't know if I can give you what you need. I'm not even sure if I know what I need right now." She maintained eye contact with him and carefully watched him process her admission. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" She asked softly.

It wasn't just about their careers. This was what he had hoped for but he hadn't expected it to hurt so much. "Um…I think so," he answered tentatively. "So, what do you want to do now?"

She placed her hands on his chest and tried to smile as brightly as she could. "Just a little time and space. I really need to figure out my fellowship and everything else," she laughed without humour.

"Okay," he nodded. He knew that it was not her intention but he felt crushingly rejected. "Okay," he repeated. He placed a quick kiss on the top of her head before he stepped backwards.

"Jackson, don't—"

"No, its okay, I get it," he said hurriedly before he left her office.

She had a feeling that he really didn't get it at all and that she had just hurt him even more than before.

* * *

By noon, word had spread throughout Seattle Grace Mercy West that April Kepner and Jackson Avery were over.

"We should do something," Meredith suggested as she walked the hallways with Cristina.

"What do you want to do?" Her friend countered.

"Well, what did we do after bad breakups?"

"Drink tequila," Cristina stated without thought.

"Then I guess we're going to take April to Joe's and drink a lot of tequila." Meredith smiled, "This could be fun. She was hilarious when she got tanked at my house."

"I dunno," Cristina said sceptically. "In the face of a breakup, Kepner seems more of the ice cream and romantic comedy type." She paused and thought about her situation with Owen. "But I could certainly use some tequila."

They spotted the red-head at the nurses' station and sidled up to her, Meredith on one side and Cristina on the other.

"Hey April," they greeted in unison.

She looked at each of them strangely. "Hi guys."

"You're going to come out with us tonight."

The tone of Cristina's voice suggested that there was no room for argument but April tried anyway. "I can't, I have to make a decision about my fellowship tonight."

"You can make it with us," Meredith said stubbornly.

"And tequila," Cristina added.

April appreciated Cristina and Meredith's gesture of friendship. She was fully aware that she didn't always fit in. All she had was Jackson…

"Okay," she smiled, "sounds good."

* * *

"Surprisingly, I liked you a lot better when you were deliriously happy and annoying," Alex told Jackson honestly.

The two men were sitting in a booth at Joe's as Jackson intently watched April, Meredith, and Cristina on the other side of the bar. The three women were drinking beer and doing tequila shots.

"Yeah," Jackson sighed. "I liked it a lot better too." He took a long drink from his beer before he set the bottle down and began to fiddle with the label.

"So what exactly did she say?" Alex asked curiously.

Jackson had explained their fight last night but he had yet to tell him about the conversation they had today.

Jackson answered him miserably. "That she needs time and space." Alex whistled and his head shot up. "What? What does that whistle mean?"

"Just that in my experience, a woman saying that she needs time and space is not a good thing."

Jackson groaned and slumped down in his seat. "That's just great. I rushed her. I knew that I rushed her," he mumbled to himself.

Alex looked over at the three women and laughed as April screwed up her face after finishing a shot of tequila. "She doesn't look like she's dealing with this any better than you," he commented. Jackson stared at April forlornly so he decided to change the subject. "Have you talked to Hunt yet about your fellowship?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Tomorrow morning. I'm gonna go with my gut."

"So you're just gonna go in there and decide when he asks you?" Alex asked in disbelief.

Jackson nodded after taking another drink. "Yep."

"That's ballsy."

"And stupid," Jackson chuckled. But Penn and Tulane each had their pros and cons and he knew that ultimately, he would make the right decision when he stood in front of Hunt.

* * *

"Have you guys chosen your fellowships yet?" April slurred. She had lost count of the number of tequila shots they had done.

"Derek wants to go to Boston. I want to stay in Seattle. So, no."

"I don't know either," Cristina sighed in frustration as she ran a hand through her hair.

April began to pick at the basket of peanuts on the table. "The most important decision of our careers sucks."

Cristina nodded and Meredith hummed in agreement.

"What about you?" Cristina asked after a pause. "Mass Gen or Mount Sinai?"

"Don't know," April replied distractedly.

Meredith followed April's eye line and realized that she was staring at Jackson. She turned to Cristina with a purposeful look. "I think its time for more tequila."

Cristina headed to the bar for another round while Meredith carefully questioned April. "So, what happened between you two?"

"He's ready to get really serious and I don't know if I am," she confessed. "I want to figure things out now so that I don't hurt him even more later on. Soooo…I broke up with him. I told him that I needed some time and that I want him to go to Tulane."

Most of the men of Seattle Grace seemed to have that problem. Apparently, the women were the ones afraid of commitment, but Meredith would have never pegged April as one of them. She and Cristina were the dark and twisty ones, April Kepner just screamed happy, bright, and ready to settle down. But the red-head was very insecure so maybe that had something to do with it.

"There's nothing wrong with needing some time," Meredith assured her.

April spoke and her voice broke. "I just feel like I'm breaking his heart."

Cristina returned to their table and placed another shot in front of her. "No crying tonight Kepner. Just tequila."

* * *

At some point in the evening, a tall blonde joined Alex and Jackson in their booth. Jackson paid very little attention to her, she was Karev's type, and continued to drink beer. He had lost count of the number he had already consumed but he could have cared less. April had left a little while ago with Meredith and Cristina but he still couldn't stop thinking about her.

She wanted time and space.

She didn't know what she needed.

She wasn't sure if she could give him what he needed.

All of it was terrifying to him because he was ready to be everything that she needed. He _wanted _to be everything that she needed and there was no doubt in his mind that she was what he needed.

He was sad, and confused, and very drunk. He had always believed that April would never hurt him but unfortunately, he had been wrong.

"Hey man," Alex said uncertainly, "do you want another beer?"

"Absolutely," he replied.

Alex got up to go to the bar, leaving Jackson alone with the blonde. He didn't even know her name.

"Who was the red-head?" She inquired.

"Excuse me?"

"Who was the red-head?" She repeated. "The one you were staring at all night."

"Oh. She's my…" Ex-girlfriend. Best friend. Roommate. Love of his life. "…April…"

The blonde chuckled, "And is _your _April your girlfriend?"

He shook his head. "No, she broke up with me."

"Silly girl," the blonde purred seductively.

Alex returned to their booth but did not sit down. He placed a beer in front of Jackson as he spoke quickly, "Robbins is paging me. I haven't been on a peds case all week. I gotta go."

"Yeah, go, don't worry about me." He turned to the blonde sitting across from him and she smirked at him. "I'll be fine."

* * *

**A/N: Don't hate me. Leave love! :)**


	13. What Did You Do?

**A/N: Thanks for all the responses to the last chapter. Enjoy the update :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 13 – What Did You Do?**

Jackson awoke with a splitting headache. He slowly sat up in bed and covered his face with his hands. He wasn't sure why he had thought that switching from beer to hard liquor in the middle of the night was a good idea. He hadn't had a hangover like this since his intern year.

But his decision to drink too much wasn't the worst thing that he had done last night.

His whole body ached. He got out of bed and hobbled to the bathroom. He really needed a shower; he could smell booze off of himself. And after that he needed coffee and something substantial to eat.

He found April brushing her teeth and he stumbled over the threshold. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Its okay," she replied quickly. "I'm almost done." She finished, placed her toothbrush back in its holder, and turned around to face him. She frowned, "You don't look very good."

"I don't feel very good."

She walked towards him and placed a hand on his forehead. She knew that he was hungover but he did feel a little warm. "I'll make you something for breakfast."

He clasped her wrist in order to keep her hand on his face. He was feeling so guilty that he could barely look her in the eye but at the same time, he just wanted to stay in her proximity for a little while longer.

She eventually pulled away from him and smiled softly.

He watched her leave the bathroom and he cursed when she was out of sight. "Fuck. Fuck." He placed both of his hands on top of his head and groaned. "I am such an idiot."

* * *

As soon as Jackson arrived at the hospital and changed into his scrubs, he practically ran to Sloan's office. He stepped through the open door and spoke breathlessly, "I really need to talk to you." Sloan was the only person that he could have this conversation with and he needed to tell somebody.

Mark had never seen Avery look so frazzled. "Sure, close the door, come in."

Jackson closed the office door and sat down in the chair in front of Sloan's desk.

"What is it Avery?"

"I am such an idiot," he groaned.

"Well, I always knew you weren't the brightest," Sloan teased. "But what did you do this time?"

The best place to start was at the beginning and he hadn't spoken to Sloan since their conversation in the conference room yesterday morning. He had been busy with post-ops, then he had scrubbed in on a surgery with Robbins, and then he went to Joe's with Karev.

"April asked me for time and space yesterday," he began.

"Okay," the attending nodded. "She just needs time to think about things, it could be worse. Just wait it out." He watched the younger man shift in his chair and avoid eye contact with fierce determination. "What did you do?" He felt like he was about to reprimand an adolescent.

"I went out with Karev last night. I got really drunk and I just missed her so much and I—"

"Avery, did you sleep with someone else?" He asked straightforwardly. Mark Sloan was no stranger to trying to heal heartbreak with sex. He unfortunately still remembered the string of women he had slept with after Lexie had broken up with him the first time. Avery had probably felt lonely and rejected, and just absolutely miserable. He could relate.

"No," he shook his head. "I didn't have sex with her."

"But you did something." The look of guilt and shame on his face said it all.

"Yeah," he groaned, "we did…stuff…"

He told Sloan about how he and the blonde, Heidi, had talked for a long time before she finally asked him to go home with her. He had said no but offered to walk her to her to her house which was only a few blocks away. His memory was a little fuzzy after that but they had ended up on her couch. He had gotten her off with his fingers and she had given him a blowjob. It had felt dirty and wrong and he would give his surgical career to be able to take it back.

"Wow. You _are_ an idiot."

"Thanks, this is exactly why I wanted to talk to you," Jackson said sarcastically.

"Sorry," Mark apologized. "But you did call yourself an idiot first," he pointed out quickly. He thought for a moment before he offered, "Well, you didn't technically cheat on her. She broke up with you."

"Then why do I feel like I did cheat on her?"

"Because you love her and regardless of the technicality, you still feel like you betrayed her," Mark told him honestly. "You're a good guy Avery, that's why you feel so bad."

"I don't know how this happened," Jackson stated in disbelief. "I'm not that guy. I'm not the guy that cheats." He sighed before he stated, "I have to tell her." April viewed all sexual acts as sacred and he knew that telling her that he did _anything_ with another woman would destroy her but he couldn't keep something like this from her. He loved her; he owed it to her to be honest. "I don't know if she'll forgive me for this," he said sadly.

Mark wasn't sure if she would either but he wouldn't say it out loud.

Jackson sighed as he looked at his wristwatch. "I have to go meet with Hunt."

"About your fellowship?"

"Yeah," Jackson nodded as he got to his feet. "I'll tell you when I figure it out."

He left Sloan's office with his hands in the pockets of his lab coat and shuffled to the main conference room.

Owen Hunt smiled and he nodded in greeting. "Good morning Chief."

Jackson looked at the whiteboard behind Hunt and saw names of residents scribbled all over it. His name was still there with a question mark beside it, as were the names Grey, Yang, and Kepner. The three women had not told Hunt their decisions yet. Only one of those decisions truly mattered to him.

"What's it gonna be Avery?" Hunt asked.

Jackson looked him in the eye and responded, "I've chosen Tulane, sir."

"Good for you Avery. Good luck."

"Thank you, sir."

* * *

April prepared dinner with a smile on her face. She felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She had finally made a decision about her fellowship and it felt good. She felt happy and positive, and completely confident in her choice. She was excited even.

Cristina and Meredith had played a significant role in lifting her spirits. She knew that she had a rather black and white way of looking at the world and her night with them had opened her eyes to a lot of things, and she appreciated all of the advice, as drunken as most of it was. Meredith had told her that she thought that she and Jackson were like her and Derek in a lot of ways. It had taken them a long time to find each other, and an even longer time to realize that they wanted each other. Meredith assured her that the last thing that she wanted to do now was lose him. Cristina's words had been much brasher but helpful none the less.

"_I know I said you'd be stupid not to go to Mass Gen, and Mount Sinai is great, but UVA seems to think that you're God's gift to trauma. You can't pass that up." _

So, April had finally managed to make a decision about her fellowship. She was going to UVA. She was moving to Virginia. She had politely declined the rest of her offers this morning. Harper Avery had seemed very surprised when she called him but he wished her the best of luck and said that he was sure that he would see her in the future.

She had made a decision about her relationship with Jackson as well. Last night had been a wake up call; she had missed him like crazy and she had spent the majority of yesterday in tears. She had been trying to figure out what she wanted in life since nothing seemed to line up with the plan she had crafted as a young girl, but all she had been able to think about was him. She still wasn't sure about some things but she knew that she wanted to figure it out with him by her side. She loved him and she wanted to be with him. At this point, she didn't want to over think things any more than that. She was her own worst enemy and she needed to allow the rest of the pieces to fall into place. The rest of it would come in time.

She heard the front door open so she turned the stove off before she left the kitchen to meet Jackson in the living room.

"Hi! I made dinner!"

"It smells delicious," he replied unenthusiastically.

She frowned as she watched him lay his bag in a chair. He didn't seem like himself. In face, he had seemed off all day. Maybe he still wasn't feeling well. "I was hoping that we could talk before dinner though," she proposed.

He nodded. "Yeah, we do need to talk."

She grabbed his hand and led him to the sofa where he sat down next to her. "So," she began with a smile. "I think that I got a little freaked out…about us…and I'm really sorry."

"There's no need to apologize," he argued.

"No, there is. We were both miserable yesterday and it was my fault. I don't want time and space." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in. "I just want to be with you," she whispered, "and I want you to help me figure out what I need. I love you."

She started to kiss him and he couldn't help but reciprocate. This was exactly what he wanted and he knew that what he had to say would ruin everything. He reluctantly pulled his mouth away from hers and firmly grasped her waist to keep her at a safe distance.

He gulped before he spoke. "April, I need to tell you something."

"Okay, what is it?" She asked with a smile.

"I…" She looked so happy again. He tucked her hair behind her ear and gently touched her face. "First, I just want you to know that I love you so much and that I never thought that I would be so lucky to—"

"Jackson," she giggled. "You're rambling, just tell me. Is it about your fellowship?" She asked excitedly.

"No…um, no…it's not about my fellowship—"

"Did you pick Tulane?" She interrupted.

"Yeah, I picked Tulane."

She squealed in joy and threw her arms around his neck again. "That's great! I'm so happy for you!" He pulled her off of him and got to his feet. "Jackson, what's going on with you?" She asked in concern.

"I made a really terrible mistake last night," he finally confessed.

"What did you do?" She asked fearfully.

He sat back down on the couch and looked at her with sad eyes. "I was so drunk, and I know that's not an excuse but I really was, and I just missed you so much—"

She was afraid of what he was about to tell her but she needed to hear it. "Jackson, what happened?"

"I met a woman last night and we talked…and then we…"

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open a little in shock. She would have never thought that he would…

"So, you…um…slept with her?"

"No, no, I didn't!" He clarified quickly.

She tilted her head and looked at him in confusion. "Then what did you do?" He closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. "You have to tell me," she said louder than either of them had expected. Her eyes widened even further at her own outburst and she promptly lowered her voice. "Did you just kiss her? Tell me."

"We kissed and we…"

He was a coward, he couldn't say it.

"You didn't have sex with her but you did…other things…right? You were still physical with her."

"Yeah," he admitted remorsefully. "And I'm _so _sorry; it's the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. It didn't mean anything to me."

"Well that's nice to know," she bit out sarcastically.

"April." He reached for her hands but she quickly pulled away.

"No, don't touch me," she said quietly. She stood up in a daze and walked to the porch. "Uh…dinner is in the oven, you can help yourself." She grabbed her car keys and left their apartment as he repeatedly called after her.

* * *

April drove around Seattle for an hour before she pulled up in front of Meredith's house. She knew as soon as she got in her car that she would either end up here or the hospital. She had nowhere else to go.

She looked at her reflection in the rear-view mirror and wiped the tears from her eyes. She was going to need a minute before she actually got out of the car. She took slow, even breaths.

She actually could not believe what Jackson had told her. She felt like she was having a really bad dream because the guy that she knew would not have done…that. He had been with more than his fair share of women in the past but she had not even for a second worried about a wandering eye. The Jackson that she knew did nothing but protect her from these kinds of things. He was kind, caring, and loyal. Sure, _she_ had broken up with him. _She_ had asked for time and space. But that still didn't take away how much it hurt when he had confessed that he had been with someone else. She felt like she was struggling for air, like there was a crushing weight on her chest.

She had never let someone in before him. She had given him her virginity for God's sake! She had never let someone love her and now she knew why, because the pain was unbearable when it all fell apart. Relationships were happy in her world. Her parents have been happily married for thirty-six years. They had known each other practically their whole lives. She had three happily married sisters. Libby and Kimmy had married their high school sweethearts, and Alice and her college boyfriend were newlyweds. Even Seattle Grace had some remarkable relationships: Derek and Meredith, Callie and Arizona. She wasn't sure how to handle this.

She had always believed that people who were unfaithful didn't deserve a second chance but she did believe in forgiveness. She wanted to forgive him so badly, she just wasn't sure if she could.

She finally got out of her car and walked to the front door. She knocked once and Meredith pulled open the door seconds later. "Hi." April forced a smile. "Can I stay here tonight?"

* * *

**A/N: Fellowship decisions are made and well...he didn't sleep with her...**

**Leave me your thoughts! :)**


	14. Can't Eat, Can't Breathe, Can't Sleep

**A/N: Thanks for the continued support. I hope that you enjoy the update :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 14 – Can't Eat, Can't Breathe, Can't Sleep**

"You are interns! You are at the bottom of the surgical food chain! Hospitals have a hierarchy for a reason and your job is to please your residents and not kill anyone! I am the last person that you want to complain to!"

Meredith, Cristina, and Alex watched in awe from behind the nurses' station as April yelled at a group of interns who looked absolutely terrified of the red-head, and rightfully so. April Kepner never yelled…at anyone. She was always kind to the junior residents, she was pretty much the only one who treated them like actual people, and they loved her in skills labs. This was a side of the perky Chief Resident that none of them had seen before.

"Is it wrong that I'm enjoying new, angry, bitter Kepner?" Cristina asked her companions.

"I don't think so," Alex responded. "I usually don't see her like this unless it's directed at me, it's kinda hot."

"Alex," Meredith scolded, "inappropriate."

Cristina pointed at a scrawny, male intern and laughed, "He looks like he's going to pee his pants."

Alex chuckled and motioned to the girl standing beside the scrawny one. "She's a fainter, I bet ya."

"Now, if you have nothing better to do then go to the pit and stop bothering me!" April finished and the group of four interns instantly scurried away. She huffed as she joined them at the nurses' station. "I cannot wait to be finished with this job."

"At least you get to relieve your stress by yelling at dumb interns," Alex pointed out.

"That's true," April agreed.

"And I thoroughly enjoyed that," Cristina added.

A smile tugged at the corner of April's mouth, and it was the first smile that Meredith had seen in over a day.

The red-head had been an emotional wreck when she had shown up on her and Derek's doorstep two nights ago but Meredith couldn't blame her. The girl had just gotten her heart broken for the first time and by her best friend no less. She had the right to be emotional, and if April's way of dealing with things was to cry at night and yell at interns during the day than that was perfectly acceptable. Kepner needed to show people that she wasn't a pushover anyway. A little reprimanding was fine.

Meredith was being supportive by allowing April to stay at her house for as long as she wanted and Cristina had even come over last night. Cristina and April were in a similar situation, even if the red-head didn't know it, and female solidarity and all that. The two women told April that she would be leaving for Virginia soon and would never have to see Jackson again if she didn't want to but that just seemed to make her cry even harder. April wanted him in her life, it was easy to see. She had muttered a lot about God and forgiveness that neither Meredith nor Cristina really understood but they both thought that she was going to forgive him sooner or later. April was not capable of holding a dark and angry grudge, she was a genuinely good person, but her wound was still fresh and raw. Since leaving her apartment, she had only spoken to Jackson at work and that was just to appear polite. She was not interested in hearing his apologies or excuses at the moment but they could tell that her wall was slowly crumbling.

Mark Sloan strolled up to the four residents and smiled. "Kepner, I'm requesting you on my service today."

April looked up at him in confusion. She had filled all of her hours in plastics and she had only done a handful of rotations with Dr. Sloan. Besides, plastics was Jackson's thing. "Sir, I…uh, I—"

Sloan shook his head. "No arguing Kepner. Avery's busy and this year's interns are awful. I need a competent resident, you're free, and this could be your last chance to watch me work," he grinned. He began to walk away and he called over his shoulder. "Let's go Kepner."

April flashed Meredith, Cristina, and Alex an annoyed facial expression before she hurried after the arrogant attending.

* * *

Jackson sighed as he looked down on the fifth floor and watched Sloan and April head towards the elevators. She had her hair straightened today; he had always thought that it made her look younger. Her bang was braided and pinned back; he had always thought that was cute.

Not talking to her and barely seeing her was killing him. One day and two nights was how long they had been apart and it felt like time was slowing down. She spoke to him at work to be professional but he hadn't been able to have a private conversation with her since he told her about his indiscretion. She wasn't sleeping at their apartment either, which bothered him. He had driven her out of her home. She seemed angry and cold and he hated himself for doing that to her.

The apartment was weird without her, way too quiet. He and Karev spent their time together watching ESPN and drinking beer. They barely spoke to each other. Jackson was too sullen and Karev didn't want to interfere, he also wasn't happy that April wasn't around. The two men ordered takeout and barely used the kitchen, the kitchen was April's favourite place in the apartment and it just felt wrong to cook without her.

He wanted her to come back home and he wanted another chance to talk to her. To tell her how stupid and sorry he was, how much she means to him, and how he would do anything to make it up to her.

"Hey," a familiar voice called behind him. Lexie moved to stand next to him and lean over the railing as well. "How are you?" She asked softly.

He kept his eyes focused on the moving doctors and nurses below them and neglected her question. "How is she?"

"She's been crying a lot," Lexie told him honestly.

He squeezed his eyes shut and nodded.

"She doesn't hate you," Lexie said after a long silence. "She loves you, that's why this is so hard for her. If she hated you, it would be easy." She was speaking from personal experience and she was aware that Jackson knew that.

Right now Jackson felt like he deserved to be hated. He had promised himself that he wouldn't hurt her but in a moment of overwhelming self-pity and doubt, he had done just that. He had hurt her and he was her best friend yet he wasn't even able to comfort her.

"Do you know how long she's staying at your house?" He asked curiously.

"I'm not sure. Mer said that she can stay until she moves to Virginia if she wants."

Jackson turned to Lexie with a startled expression. "Virginia?"

"Yeah, she chose UVA. You didn't know?" Lexie asked with a sad smile.

He shook his head and replied quietly. "I didn't get a chance to ask." And he had just assumed that after everything she would have ended up picking Mass Gen.

After another pause, Lexie spoke again. "Jackson, is it like you can't eat, can't breathe, and can't sleep?"

Jackson turned to her and couldn't help but let out a small laugh. The irony of the moment was undeniable. For the first time, he and Lexie were on the same page.

* * *

During his lunch break, Jackson walked to the main conference room. He needed to see it all in writing in order for it to be real. He needed to see it in order to accept that at the beginning of July his friends would be scattered all over the country.

There it was, clearly written on Hunt's whiteboard for all hospital staff to see. The destination of every surgical resident.

_Karev – Johns Hopkins_

_Grey – the Brigham_

_Yang – Mayo_

_Avery – Tulane_

_Kepner – UVA_

April really had picked UVA. He couldn't help but smile. It really was the best choice for her and he was happy for her. She had wanted him to pick Tulane and he had wanted her to pick UVA…at least that had worked out. But New Orleans and Virginia weren't exactly close and they weren't even together anymore. They weren't even speaking.

Dr. Hunt stepped into the room behind him and spoke. "Pretty impressive crop of residents, isn't it?"

Jackson turned around and smiled. "Yes sir, it is."

"Going to some of the top programs in the country," Hunt stated proudly.

"Wouldn't you rather have us stay?" Jackson asked curiously.

"Well, of course, but this looks great for the hospital too, and it's possible that you'll all return after your fellowships." Owen was trying to be optimistic.

"Yeah," Jackson agreed quietly. He was really beginning to like the idea that he would return to Seattle Grace Mercy West after his fellowship. His life had never been easy in Seattle but he loved it and for every bad memory he had of this place, there were two good ones. The people of this hospital were like a second family to him. This was the first place that had looked at him as more than just an Avery. He had memories of two lost friends in this place. This is where he had fallen in love with April.

* * *

April had discovered Mark Sloan's true motive for putting her on his service early in the day and she was not happy about it. He had hijacked her to talk to her about Jackson. They had performed a four hour surgery together and he had dropped subtle hints the whole time. Fortunately, he waited until they were alone in the scrub room before he directly addressed the subject.

"He's really beating himself up," he stated.

April remained silent and intently focused on washing her hands.

"Listen," Sloan sighed as he grabbed a towel to dry off. "Avery's important to me. I feel like he's one of my own, like a little brother or adopted son," he chuckled. "I like to see him happy and you make him happy, and he's unhappy right now because he hurt you. He's a good guy and he really loves you. I've never seen him so out of sorts over a girl, not even Lex, and we had that awkward triangle going on for so long—"

April interrupted Sloan's ranting. "I know that he loves me and I love him, that's not the problem."

Sloan nodded in understanding. "I get it Kepner. I've been cheated on, and I know that it sucks and that it's the worst feeling in the world, but I've also been the cheater." He noticed the unsurprised expression on her face but he didn't comment on it. "And I know that what he did had absolutely nothing to do with how he feels about you. When guys feel rejected and lonely, we get drunk and do really stupid things. He was definitely thinking about you and he hates himself for doing it in the first place." He watched her carefully as she leaned on the sink and took a deep breath. Her whole body began to rack with sobs and before he knew it, her small frame collided with his and she started to cry against his chest. He took a step backwards to regain his footing and he tentatively wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He hadn't exactly expected this when he had started this conversation. She was more than a head shorter than him and his arms could probably wrap around her body multiple times. "Kepner, I never realized you were so little," he laughed.

She laughed at his awkward comment. "I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not," she mumbled.

"Take it however you like," he replied. He gently rubbed her back with his free hand, women found that soothing. "I know that you don't trust him anymore but give him a second chance. Make him earn your trust back. He'll pass with flying colours."

"You think people deserve second chances?"

Her voice was muffled by the fabric of his scrub top but he heard her clearly. "Yeah, I do, and Avery definitely deserves a second chance. He made a mistake; he doesn't make a lot of those."

"No, he doesn't," she agreed.

"Just talk to him Kepner," he encouraged.

She pulled away from him and wiped at her eyes as she looked down at her sneakers. "I'm sorry for…" She motioned between them and blushed. "I'm sorry."

He waved her off. "It's okay Kepner. I'm used to dealing with crying women."

"Thank you Dr. Sloan," she said sincerely. He really did care about Jackson, she found it incredibly sweet, and he had given her a lot to think about.

* * *

After a very long day, April changed out of her scrubs and was ready to head home. Well, she didn't know if she was ready to go_ home _but she was leaving the hospital for the night. She stepped into the elevator with her head down and didn't notice that she was not alone until she heard the sound of breathing behind her. She didn't need to turn around to know who stood behind her.

"Hi Jackson," she said softly.

He slumped in the corner of the elevator and stared at the back of her head. "Hey." She was wearing blue jeans and a green, button-up sweater. Very simple but he thought that she looked gorgeous.

He took a step forward and she shivered as she felt his breath on the back of her neck. They weren't even touching yet she could feel the heat from his body and his slightly woodsy smell was overpowering. She should have seen this coming. She had heard that the most tense, untimely, and monumental encounters happened in the elevators of this hospital. Now was time for hers apparently.

"I forgive you," she whispered.

"What?" He was shocked. He didn't deserve her forgiveness.

As time passed, she felt more and more responsible for what was happening to them so she had to forgive him. And she needed to forgive him because of her faith and so that they could both move on. "I forgive you," she repeated. "I know that I hurt you and we weren't even together, I broke up with you, and I'm being a good Christian, so I forgive you. I love you and I forgive you." He placed both of his hands on her stomach and she quickly covered them with her own. She leaned back into his embrace and sighed. "I've never trusted anyone more than I trust you…but I don't trust you anymore, Jackson."

"I know," he groaned, "and I'm sorry." He tightened his arms around her. She didn't trust him anymore and their relationship had always been so honest and sincere. She was the very first person that had figured out that he was Harper Avery's grandson and she had made it a point not to tell anyone. He was such an idiot.

"Stop apologizing," she told him sternly.

He closed his eyes and buried his nose in her hair. "I miss you."

A sob caught in her throat and she covered her mouth with a hand. "I miss you too. I really miss my best friend."

* * *

**A/N: Gotta love Mark Sloan :) Leave me your thoughts! **


	15. Funny How Things Change

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, especially the ones who have reviewed every chapter. This chapter was one of the more difficult ones to write so I hope that you enjoy it! :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 15 – Funny How Things Change**

"_I really miss my best friend."_

Her heartbroken words echoed in his head as the elevator came to a stop. She stepped out of his grasp as the doors slid open. She walked out ahead of him and he slowly followed. She spun around to face him and mustered a small smile.

"Do you want to go somewhere and talk?"

He nodded quickly. He wanted nothing more. "Yeah."

They walked to the small café down the street and sat across from each other in a booth in the back corner. The waitress brought them two coffees and Jackson watched April's hand shake as she added sugar to hers. He just wanted to say that he was sorry over and over and over again but she already told him to stop apologizing.

"I told you the truth because I love you," he began quietly, "and you're supposed to be honest with the people you love. I told you the truth because I want to be with you. And you have to believe that the last thing that I wanted to do was hurt you. I never ever _ever_ wanted to do that."

She raised her head and looked at him with big, sad eyes. "I know Jackson, and I never wanted to hurt you either."

She had never been in a serious relationship before; she had only ever dated a handful of guys. She had always been focused on her academics and she was willing to admit that she was socially awkward. Her romantic history included having crushes on guys who would never return her feelings; Derek Shepherd and Alex Karev were recent examples, and up until recently, she had assumed that Jackson would eventually fall into that category as well. She knew that she wasn't the most desirable woman so she was used to men who didn't notice her, or care about her. Having someone like Jackson care so deeply for her was new and scary, and that's why she had foolishly told him that things weren't going to work out between them. She had set this whole thing in motion.

"I've never been good with guys," she said after a moment. "I mean why would I be? Guys have never been interested in me because I'm fussy and neurotic, and my voice gets on people's nerves. I'm not the most physically attractive woman, or the smartest, or the—"

"April, stop," he chided. He hated when she said those kinds of things about herself. She was the most unbelievable woman that he had ever met.

"What I'm trying to say," she sighed, "is that I don't know how to do this. There's no book that I can study to help me with this, which is probably why I've screwed everything up with us."

Jackson stood up and slid into her side of the booth. He couldn't watch her blame herself anymore and not being able to touch her was driving him crazy. He slipped an arm around her waist and she rested her head on his shoulder. "This is not your fault," he said earnestly. "Its mine."

"Well let's just agree to disagree," she sniffed.

They were at a difficult crossroads. They had forgiven each other but were unwilling to forgive themselves. They were back to square one: what do they do now?

A smile graced his face as a memory came to mind. "Do you remember when we met?"

She laughed lightly, "Our first shift at Mercy West. How could I forget? It was a nightmare. We were dead on our feet by the time it was over."

Their very first conversation still stood out in his mind because it had been about medicine. She had been the only female intern not to hit on him and it had instantly drawn him to her. She had only wanted to get to know him. He had found her refreshing to be around, she was really smart and very shy, and their friendship had developed effortlessly. "You asked me what speciality I was interested in," he reminisced.

"You said cardio."

"And you said neuro," he finished. "Funny how things change, isn't it?"

"Yeah," she agreed breathlessly.

Their first conversation had taken place five years ago. They were very different now. Like she had told him in San Francisco, she wasn't the same person that she was when she started her residency at Mercy West. Seattle Grace had changed her. The shooting had changed her. He had changed her. She remembered their first shift and wondered what Reed and Charles would think of them now. She couldn't help but voice her thought out loud.

Jackson was surprised by the turn the conversation had taken but it made sense somehow. "Charles would love that I'm in plastics," he chuckled. "Reed would be really proud of you for becoming Chief Resident and specializing in trauma and—"

She stopped him, "What do you think they'd think of us…together?"

"They'd love it," he answered without needing to think about it. "Reed would probably have threatened to castrate me by now but they'd love it."

April smiled to herself. Reed would be unhealthily excited that she wasn't a virgin anymore. She would have had to suffer through hours of uncomfortable girl talk. Charles would probably say that he had seen it coming all along, even when he hadn't. She took a deep breath in order to keep her tears at bay. It was still hard for her to think about them without getting emotional.

"Do you want to leave?" Jackson asked softly as he stroked her hair. She nodded and he tossed a few bills on the table to cover their cold, untouched coffees.

They left the café and started to walk back towards the hospital parking lot where both of their cars were. On the way there Jackson gathered up the courage to grab the hand that was dangling next to his. He tried to hide his smile when she didn't pull away from him.

He walked her to her car and she continued to hold his hand as she leaned back against the driver's door to look up at him. The little time that they had spent together tonight reminded her of just how much she missed him. She missed just being around him, he always made her feel calmer.

"Sloan thinks that I should give you a second chance," she revealed.

His eyebrows rose in surprise. "Sloan talked to you about me?"

She nodded, "Yeah. He really cares about you, it's really sweet."

"He's a meddler, but in this case, I don't mind," he laughed. His raised his free hand to cradle her face and his thumb stroked her cheek. "But if you give me a second chance, I will spend every day telling you how lucky I am to have you and how much you mean to me. And if you're still unsure about what you need, I will give you all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere so you're going to have to put up with me," he finished with a teasing smile.

She stared into his eyes, his striking blue-green eyes, and smiled softly. She let go of his hand only to wrap both of her arms around his neck. "You have no idea how much I want to just go back to the way things were before we got into that stupid fight."

"We don't have to go back. We can start over," he proposed hopefully. The more that he thought about it, the more that he realized that starting over may be exactly what they needed to get past everything that had happened in the last several days.

She tested the phrase out on her tongue. "Start over."

"You're not the only one who misses their best friend." He lowered his head until his forehead touched hers. "We can start over, go slow." He probably should have suggested that from the beginning. "And I will never do anything so stupid ever again—"

She cut him off by placing a finger over his lips. "We can go slow," she breathed.

She kissed him tenderly. It was quick and innocent, and exactly what he needed. He was so thankful that he didn't know how to appropriately express himself.

"Are you coming home tonight?" He asked after a beat. "Karev misses you."

She tossed her head back in laughter. "You want me to come home because Alex misses me?"

"He's hard to deal with when he's not probably fed," he joked.

She continued to laugh as she fished her car keys out of her purse. "Yeah, I'm coming home."

"Great," he replied excitedly. "I'll follow you!"

Jackson practically sprinted to his car and April couldn't help but smile. That's why she had forgiven him and given him a second chance. It was obvious that he loved her; she could see it in his smile and in his eyes. Despite everything, he still made her feel loved and protected. He made her feel safe and cherished. He made her feel wanted. He still gave her butterflies.

* * *

Jackson actually beat April home and ran around the living room picking things up. He and Karev hadn't exactly bothered with cleanliness in April's absence either. He had just finished when he heard the front door open and close.

"Fancy meeting you here," April joked.

He smiled back at her and watched her walk down the hallway to drop her purse in her room. "Hey," he called out. "Do you want a beer? Or a glass of wine? Or coffee?" It was still early in the night and he wanted to talk.

"A glass of wine would be nice!"

He went into the kitchen to get her a glass of wine and when he returned to the living room, she was sitting on the couch. He handed her the wine and opened the beer he had gotten for himself. "So how was your surgery with Sloan?" He started conversationally.

She smiled, "Actually it was really good. I can see why you like working with him everyday. He's talented and he can be really nice."

She told him all about her surgery and he was happy that their conversation moved so easily, just liked it used to. Just two friends sitting on a couch talking about medicine.

"So, you picked UVA?"

Her eyes widened as she sipped her wine. "Oh my God, I didn't tell you! I'm sorry!"

"Its okay, we weren't exactly on speaking terms."

She bypassed the potential tension and said, "Yeah, I really think it's the best fit."

"I'm happy for you," he said sincerely.

"Thank you," she smiled.

He smiled uncontrollably as he angled his body towards hers and stretched his arm across the back of the couch. Virginia and Louisiana weren't _that _far away.

The front door banging open startled them both. "Am I imagining things or is Kepner's car out there?"

April laughed to herself before replying to Alex. "You're not imagining things!"

Alex walked into the living room and in an uncharacteristic move; he kissed her on the top of the head. "I'm ashamed to admit that I did miss you. I wasn't sure if I was going to starve or kill him first."

"It's been two days Alex!" She chuckled.

"Two days too long," he answered before he clapped Jackson on the shoulder and headed for the kitchen.

April turned to Jackson and laughed in disbelief. "You were right, he really did miss me."

Jackson placed a hand on her knee. "So you can imagine how much I missed you."

* * *

April smiled as she watched Jackson enter the bathroom through the mirror. He moved to stand next to her at the sink and watched her as she brushed her teeth. Her cheeks flushed due to his intense staring, and the fact that he was shirtless wasn't helping.

"What?" She asked as she pushed her hair out of her face.

"I was just wondering about our sleeping arrangements since we're starting over and taking it slow. No expectations. No pressure." He really was committed to taking it slow; at a snail's pace if she wanted. In fact, he had made it clear that he wanted their first time, this time around, to be special. But he missed holding her while she slept.

She finished brushing her teeth and grinned at him. Tonight had proven to her that Jackson was willing to make an effort, to go above and beyond for her, and he was truly sorry. He had made a mistake. People make mistakes.

"I really miss cuddling," she told him.

"As do I."

She took his hand and led him to his bedroom. He closed the door behind him before she pulled him to the bed. He slipped under the covers first and she quickly joined him. She curled into his side and laid her head on his chest.

"Goodnight. I love you."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I love you too."

* * *

**A/N: Leave me your thoughts! :)**


	16. You're Jealous

**A/N: A big thank you as always and enjoy the update :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 16 – You're Jealous**

The next morning, April tried to slip out of bed but the second that she moved Jackson's arm tightened around her waist. He buried his nose in her hair and grumbled. "Where are you going?"

"I'm sorry. I gotta go," she giggled.

He kept a firm grip on her and tossed a leg over hers. He had just gotten her back last night so he was not okay with her leaving his bed so early in the morning. "Why do you have to go?"

She managed to extract herself from his grasp and sit on the edge of the bed. She leaned down and kissed his sleepy eyelids. "I have to go in early today."

He rolled over onto his back and stretched. "Why? What's going on?"

"Chief Hunt wants me to talk to the fourth years about being Chief Resident. I have to observe the frontrunners during rounds. Apparently I get input," she chuckled.

"Cool," he grinned.

"So I'll be gone by the time you get up and shower and stuff."

"Okay." He grabbed her hand and brought it to his mouth to place a kiss on her palm. "I'll see you at work. Love you."

She smiled and pecked him on the check. "I love you too. Go back to sleep."

She quietly left his room and he closed his eyes again. He lay his head down on the pillow that she had slept on and smiled. His bed hadn't lost her scent in the time that they had been apart but it was fresher now because she had spent the night. He inhaled and let out a contented sigh. She used a moisturizer that smelled like vanilla and something that he couldn't pinpoint and the shampoo that she used was peach scented. He fell back to sleep quickly and only awoke when his alarm clock went off.

After he showered and dressed, he joined Karev in the kitchen.

"Where's Kepner?" He questioned immediately. "Did you do something stupid again?"

"No," Jackson answered in irritation. He grabbed a box of cereal from the cupboard and joined Karev at the kitchen table. "She had to go into the hospital early."

Karev seemed satisfied by his response. "So you two are back together then?"

"Yeah," Jackson smiled. "She's giving me another chance. We're starting over."

"Don't fuck up this time." He didn't mean to sound callous or unkind, he was just being realistic.

"I won't," Jackson assured him. "Believe me."

* * *

The first thing that Jackson did after he changed into his scrubs was stop by the coffee cart in the hospital that made the freshest coffee. He found Sloan at the main nurses' station and placed a paper cup in front of him. "Cappuccino for you."

The older man turned to him and grinned. "You don't have to woo me with coffee Avery, I actually already like you."

Jackson rolled his eyes at Sloan's joking. "I just want to say thank you."

"For?" Sloan prompted.

"For whatever you said to her. I am eternally grateful."

Sloan smiled widely. "You and Kepner are back on track?"

Jackson nodded as he smiled back at his attending. "Which is why I'm going to bring you cappuccinos every day until I leave this place."

Sloan laughed, "Good to know. So, what happened? Tell me."

Jackson was aware that he and Sloan were acting like two teenage girls but he really didn't care. He now owed Sloan professionally and personally. A part of him hoped that Sloan would follow his lead, man up, and tell Lexie that he loved her. Jackson told him the whole story about how she forgave him and that they had decided to start over, take things slow.

"We talked for hours, just like we used to."

"I'm happy for you Avery," Sloan smiled. He took the first sip of his coffee and hummed in approval. "This is why I like you; you're good at remembering the details, like how I like my coffee."

"Let me lead today?"

"Maybe," he answered noncommittally. He turned his head as he drank his cappuccino and grinned when he saw the woman they had been talking about heading towards them. He whistled. "You clean up good Kepner."

She came to a stop beside them at the nurses' station and blush tinged her cheeks. "Thank you Dr. Sloan."

Jackson just stared as she handed a chart to one of the nurses behind the desk. She had dressed up to talk to the fourth years. She was wearing a black, knee-length skirt, a deep purple blouse, and black, practical heels. Her hair was curled; every strand perfectly in place, and her makeup was a little heavier than usual. It reminded him of how she had looked the day of the Boards but somehow the lab coat made her wardrobe even sexier. Remembering that day made his throat dry but he finally managed to speak. "You look really nice."

"Thank you," she smiled.

He placed the other cup of coffee that he had purchased in front of her. "I brought you coffee."

Her smile widened. "Thank you. That's very sweet." Her pager went off and she checked it with a puzzled expression. "Its Chief Hunt, I gotta go." She smiled and lightly squeezed his arm as she passed.

Jackson watched her turn the corner and only snapped out of his daze when he heard Sloan's chuckle. "What?" He turned around and asked defensively.

"Nothing." Sloan chuckled again as he shook his head. "Its just that you got it bad and she looks hot, and you decided to take things _slow_." Jackson's mouth dropped open and he tried to form a response. Sloan laughed even harder but he was interrupted by his pager. "It's Hunt. Let's go."

Jackson and Sloan walked to the main conference room where they found Hunt with April.

Hunt breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the Head of Plastics. "We just admitted a VIP patient."

The two residents stood up straighter and their eyes widened in excitement.

"Car accident. A few deep lacerations but overall, fairly minor injuries—"

"But it's a VIP," Sloan finished. "I get it."

"Now, I am busy all day with administrative stuff, I have Chief Resident interviews and I have to get ready to hire fellows. So Kepner, this is your patient."

She accepted the patient's chart and smiled. "Thank you Chief."

Hunt nodded. "Do a full trauma workup. If you need any consults page the department heads but keep the personnel to a minimum. Sloan, you and Avery should be able to handle the lacs easily."

"Sure thing Chief," she replied perkily.

The three doctors left the conference room and walked towards the VIP wing.

"Who is it?" Sloan asked curiously.

"Is it Bono?" Jackson chimed in excitedly.

April laughed as she flipped open the patient's chart. "It's Ryder Perry." She gasped, "This is so cool."

Jackson screwed up his face in confusion. "Who is that?"

"He's that billionaire genius right," Sloan answered.

"Yeah! He's a professor at MIT but he invented that application for smart phones where you can…"

Kepner continued to talk animatedly but Sloan processed very few of her words. He moved his head closer to Avery's so that he could whisper in his ear. "Your girlfriend is a nerd."

The younger man grinned back at him. "It's cute."

Sloan rolled his eyes; Avery was so smitten.

They reached the patient's room and stepped inside. Some of the VIP rooms were set up so that they could do work in them that was usually done in the ER. The hospital's policy regarding VIP patients was top privacy and top care. Jackson looked at the patient in the bed and was slightly surprised. Based on what April had said, Jackson had expected someone a little more…geeky…and older. But Ryder Perry was young, definitely no older than twenty-five and he was good-looking. He had Shepherd hair.

"Hi Mr. Perry, I'm Dr. Kepner, I'll be checking you out to make sure we didn't miss anything in your initial exam. This is Dr. Sloan and Dr. Avery, they're plastic surgeons; they'll be taking care of your lacerations."

Ryder Perry leaned back on his pillow and chuckled. His eyes roved over April before he said, "_You_ can check me out for as long as you like."

Jackson raised an eyebrow and shared a glance with Sloan. This was not going to be a fun day.

* * *

All of Ryder Perry's scans and labs came back clean. He had sustained relatively minor injuries in his car accident. He had a mild concussion and a fractured left wrist. He had two large lacerations on his lower legs and a smaller one on his right forearm. Jackson and Sloan were practically racing as they worked on his legs; the job was so basic that interns should be doing it. Unfortunately, Jackson had to sit and suture in silence while the billionaire genius flirted with his girlfriend.

He had never been so annoyed by a patient and he was aware that Sloan kept glancing at him to gage his reactions. Ryder Perry was talking away to April about his stupid smart phone application and she was so knowledgeable that she kept up with him, but if he didn't stop trying to look down her blouse, Jackson was going to lose it.

"How long will he have to stay here?" Perry's assistant asked from the corner of the room. The assistant had been hovering around them all day and that was also rather annoying.

"We'll have to keep him overnight for observation," April answered.

"Why?" The assistant asked frantically.

"Because of the concussion and to make sure that there isn't any infection."

"B-but," the assistant stuttered, "he has an important meeting tomorrow morning! That's why we're in Seattle!"

"Calm down Leo," Perry said. "I'm sure that Microsoft will understand. If Dr. Kepner says that I have to stay overnight then I'm staying overnight." He paused before he asked, "As my doctor, do you have to stay to monitor me?"

Jackson gritted his teeth. If this guy wasn't a VIP he'd tell him right where to go.

"I'm not sure," April replied uneasily. "It could be another doctor."

"I'm almost finished here," Sloan spoke up to break the tension. "How are you doing Avery?"

"Fine, sir."

"Why don't you go get some lunch? I'll finish up here." Jackson shook his head but Sloan persisted. "Go ahead. I'll keep him in check," he added in a low voice.

"Okay fine," Jackson huffed. He laid his instruments down on a tray and removed his gloves. April gave him a small smile before he left the room. He took a deep breath before heading to the cafeteria.

He grabbed some food and joined Karev, Grey, Yang, and Lexie at a table. He practically slammed his tray down onto the table.

"Whoa, someone's having a bad day," Meredith stated the obvious.

"I heard that you and Kepner are on a VIP case," Karev said.

"Yeah, we are," he answered.

"Who is it?" Cristina asked eagerly.

"Ryder Perry," he sneered.

"Oh!" Lexie stated excitedly. "The genius? The guy who invented—"

Jackson cut her off. "Yeah, him." Apparently everyone knew who this guy was except for him.

Karev laughed, "You want to beat his face in. Why? The guy a jackass?" When Jackson angrily shoved his fries into his mouth and did not answer his question, he knew what was really bothering the guy. "Nerds just love Kepner. I wouldn't worry about it. When we had that nerd convention in the pit one guy practically stalked her. She looks like some character from something or whatever."

"You're jealous? That's your problem?" Cristina asked mockingly.

"Shut it," Jackson grumbled.

"Well you probably wouldn't be jealous if you hadn't fooled around with someone else," she stated harshly. A silence fell over the table and Meredith looked at her out of the corner of her eye. "I'm just telling the truth," she defended herself. "She took you back and now you're all freaked out by the possibility that she might wanna get back at you or see what else is out there. I wouldn't worry about it." She grabbed her tray and got up from the table. "Kepner's not a cheater, she has too big of a conscious."

Meredith watched Cristina leave with a frown. Learning that April had forgiven Jackson was making Cristina reconsider whether it was the right decision to leave Owen and go to Mayo. "Jackson, she didn't mean anything, she's just—"

He shook his head. "No, its okay. She's right."

Lexie cleared her throat awkwardly and smiled. "It's the dimples."

"What?" Meredith asked with a laugh.

"I've seen April use her dimples on patients. Guys are mesmerized by dimples," she explained further. Jackson smiled a little at the brunette for lightening the mood.

"Not just guys," Karev added. "Robbins uses them to get whatever she wants."

The residents finished their lunch with pleasant, trivial conversation but Jackson couldn't help but replay Yang's words. He had never been the most understanding guy when it came to other guys flirting with any of his girlfriends but it was different with April. It wasn't just because he had made a stupid mistake with another woman, or because they had just gotten back together and their relationship was fragile.

It was because he loved her more than he had ever loved anyone. It was because he was the only guy she had ever been with. He was the only guy who knew how she felt, sounded, and tasted. No other guy had ever gotten the chance…the privilege…to give her an orgasm. He was the only guy who had ever seen her naked. He was the only guy who knew that she liked to be on top. The only one who knew about the spot on her neck that drove her wild. The only one to ever hear her breathless laugh after she climaxed. And he wanted to keep it that way. He had been her first and he wanted to be her only, and their VIP patient was reminding him of that in the worst possible way.

* * *

Sloan began to work on the stitches that Avery had started while Kepner continued to suture the patient's forearm. "How's it going Kepner?" He asked.

She turned to him and smiled. "Good, thank you."

"Calming isn't it?"

She nodded in agreement. It was nice to just sit and suture. Trauma was all about quick, life or death decisions. For the rest of her career, the only times that she would get to just sit and suture would be slow days and nights in the pit. Sloan had noticed yesterday that she really did have a great set of hands and fine technique.

"Too late to sway you over to plastics?"

April laughed and joked, "Yeah, I think so."

"So what kind of doctor are you?" Perry asked curiously.

"I am a trauma surgeon," she answered proudly.

Perry grinned. "ER stuff, big accidents, gunshot wounds. That's hot."

April flushed and shifted uncomfortably. "It's challenging work. Every day is different."

"Plastics is challenging as well," Sloan chimed in.

"I agree Dr. Sloan."

"Plastic surgeons need to have great hands. Caring. Tender. Skilled. Attentive. Wouldn't you agree Dr. Kepner?"

She turned to him with a disbelieving grin on her face. She knew exactly what he was getting at. "I would, Dr. Sloan. Plastic surgeons do have very talented hands."

Sloan nodded in approval and finished his sutures. He had to look out for his boy. He wasn't just going to let some rich VIP patient flirt with his boy's girl.

* * *

It turned out that April did have to stay overnight to monitor Ryder Perry. Hunt had informed her that it was a patient request and that the hospital did everything they could to accommodate the wishes of a VIP. She had enjoyed talking to him but his advances made her very uncomfortable.

Just before she was about to go into his room to check his vitals, she felt her cell phone vibrate. She pulled it out of her pocket and saw that it was a text from Alex.

_Lover boy refused to come home and is spending the night in the hospital. He hates the billionaire._

She smiled to herself and sent him a quick reply before walking into Ryder Perry's room. She frowned as she saw that he was awake. "You know," she scolded, "unless I'm waking you up, you should be sleeping."

"Are you always this bossy?" He asked playfully.

She nodded as she shined her pen light in both of his eyes. "With stubborn patients, yes."

He laughed as he watched her grab his chart and place it on the table at the end of his bed. She pulled her pen out of the breast pocket of her lab coat and began to write.

"So," he began as he shifted so that he was sitting up in his bed. "When I get outta here can I take you out to dinner? Ya know, as a thank you," he added trying to sound innocent.

"Will you be inviting Dr. Sloan and Dr. Avery too? To say thank you." She kept her eyes focused on the chart and did not meet his gaze.

He grinned and answered honestly, "No. They did great work but you're much easier on the eyes."

She blushed involuntarily and raised her head to face him. "Thanks, I'm flattered, but I'm taken."

"I should have known," he replied unenthusiastically. "Lucky guy. Does he know that he's a lucky guy?"

She smiled broadly, "Yeah, he knows."

* * *

April creeped into the on-call room and smiled at Jackson's sleeping form. She walked across the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. He groggily rolled over onto his back and she rubbed his chest.

"What are you doing in here?" She chastised with a small laugh.

He ran a hand over his face and rapidly blinked. Instead of answering her question, he murmured, "You changed into your scrubs."

"Yeah, much more comfortable."

"You looked really _really_ good dressed all professionally."

She chuckled and leaned on his abdomen. "Thank you. Now, why are you sleeping in the on-call room when your shift is over and you can go home?" He peered up at her sheepishly and she smiled. "You were a little jealous today, its okay to admit it." She should have realized it right away; Jackson was a fairly jealous guy.

"I wasn't a _little _jealous. I was really freakin' jealous," he told her. "It was not a good day."

"Aww I'm sorry."

"It's just…" He groaned and sat up. "It made me realize that I'm the only guy that you've ever been with, and I want it to stay that way. I felt like a caveman all afternoon, and that jerk reminded me of how scared I am of losing you."

She placed her hand on his face. "Do you know why I didn't believe in pre-marital sex?" She asked softly.

He thought about it for a moment before he shook his head. He wasn't exactly religious and he had lost his virginity at sixteen. "No. I honestly have no idea."

"Because I wanted to be a virgin for the man I'm gonna marry. I've never really been interested in having sex with a bunch of guys." She shrugged. "It was always supposed to be just the one."

Jackson leaned forward and placed a hand on her waist as his forehead touched hers. Just the one. He wanted to be the one. "Why me? Why in San Francisco?" He asked in a whisper. It was something that they had never actually talked about, he had always been a little afraid of her answer.

"Punching that guy made me realize how much I had changed. Everything wasn't so clearly defined in terms of what was right and wrong," she said slowly. "I felt ready. I was curious," she added with a small laugh. "And you were someone that I trusted, and cared about, and that I was attracted to. You're kind, and I knew that you loved me, even if it was only as a friend. And I guess just because I wanted to."

She smiled as she placed a hand on the back of his head. She gently captured his lips and kissed him slowly. It was caring and sweet, and not at all frantic and filled with lust, that part would come back when they were ready. Right now, she was enjoying taking the physical aspect of their relationship slowly this time around. It was like a clean slate.

Jackson was enjoying the slow burn as well. He liked the anticipation, the exploration. The two kisses that she had given him since she had taken him back had been perfect.

"Do you want to catch a little sleep?" He asked once he had pulled his lips away from hers.

She nodded. "Yeah, I have to wake him up in two hours."

He lay back down and pulled her with him. She curled up on her side and he melded his body to hers. He tossed an arm across her waist and entwined his fingers with hers.

"April?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you know that apparently flashing your dimples can get you whatever you want?"

She laughed at his seemingly random train of thought. "Some people enjoy them."

"Lexie says you use them on patients," he teased.

"I do not," she scoffed, "well…sometimes…the difficult ones…"

"It was the first thing I noticed about you," he confessed.

She turned her head to face him. "My dimples? Really?"

He smiled, "Yeah, they're really cute. What was the first thing you noticed about me?"

She didn't even hesitate. "Your eyes." She kissed him quickly on the cheek before she closed her eyes.

Jackson smiled and rubbed soothing circles on her hip with his palm to put her to sleep. Her breathing evened out and she started to snore softly. He tried to go back to sleep but he found it hard not to imagine little people with her dimples and his eyes.

"_Because I wanted to be a virgin for the man I'm gonna marry."_

Sloan was right, he did have it bad. He was going to have a hard time taking it slow when all of a sudden all that he could think about was marriage and kids.

* * *

**A/N: I am so sad that Eric Dane is leaving Grey's. I really do love Mark Sloan. I hope that we get lots of April/Jackson scenes to make up for it. Lol.**

**There will not be an update on Friday because I am going on vacation for a few days so I'll see you again next Tuesday! Leave me your thoughts! :)**


	17. Second Base

**A/N: I'm back from my vacation! So here is the next chapter and my posting schedule will be back to normal. Enjoy the update! :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 17 – Second Base**

Jackson knocked on the door of Meredith's house, their former home, and excitedly waited for April to answer. The door opened and his girlfriend smiled at him. She let him step inside and he kissed her on the cheek to say hello.

"What's with all the bags?" She asked animatedly as she looked at the shopping bags he was carrying.

He grinned. "I got Chinese takeout. I went to that bakery you like to get dessert, and I brought some movies."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss him. "Thanks, sweetie."

He followed her into the living room and set the bags down on the coffee table. He spotted Zola in her playpen and smiled. "Hey Zola!" The toddler toothily smiled back at him and he chuckled.

April had gladly accepted babysitting duties. Meredith, Derek, and Lexie were all off to Boise Memorial with Cristina, Sloan, and Robbins for the surgery on the conjoined twins. At first, Jackson had been upset that Sloan had not considered bringing him along but then he realized that if he stayed in Seattle it would give him more time with April. He had immediately offered to help her with Zola but he was more or less here for the company. He wasn't the greatest with babies. Kids four and up loved him but he didn't have that much experience with young children. April, however, was a natural. She had flourished on peds rotations and Zola loved her.

He took off his jacket and tossed it in the nearby armchair. He leaned down to take a closer look at the stack of square pieces of thick paper sitting on the cushion. He picked them up and laughed in disbelief. "Are these your flash cards from our intern year?"

April lifted Zola into her arms before she answered him. "Yeah, they are. My brother-in-law, Ben, is a surgical intern at Northwestern so I'm mailing them to him to help him out."

Jackson flipped through the stack of cards with a nostalgic smile. He, Charles, and Reed had all benefited from these cards but after the intern exam April had been ranked first in their year. The girl could study like no one else.

"When does he write?" He asked curiously.

"Right before I go home to visit actually." Jackson stilled and looked up at her. She detected the uneasiness in his expression. It was subtle, a slight darkening of the eyes, a tightening in his jaw, but years of observation and practice allowed her to easily detect the small Avery cues. "I'm going to put her to bed," she smiled. "I'll be back in a little bit."

Jackson waved weakly to Zola as April carried her up the stairs. She was going home in a couple of weeks but he wasn't sure if he was still going with her. He waited a few minutes before he followed her upstairs. He paused in the open doorway of Zola's room and smiled as he listened to April softly sing the child to sleep. He felt something foreign settle deep in the pit of his stomach and he couldn't deny the warmth that spread throughout his chest. He liked seeing April with a baby; it awoke something dormant in him.

He was going crazy, he was sure of it. He had never thought that far into the future with any woman he had dated. He had never even been sure that he wanted kids, but since their conversation in the on-call room three nights ago, all that he could think about was starting a family with April. It wasn't exactly an appropriate topic of conversation seeing as they had just gotten back together, but the idea of it made him undeniably happy.

April placed Zola in the crib and grabbed the baby monitor before she turned around. She blushed as she saw him leaning on the doorframe with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "How long have you been standing there?" She asked shyly.

"Long enough," he grinned. "You're really good with her."

She walked towards him and pulled the bedroom door closed behind her. "She's adorable and she knows who I am."

Jackson grabbed her waist and pulled her into him. "I like the way you sing," he whispered huskily. "It's kinda sexy."

She flushed and smacked his chest. "I only sing to children." He chuckled as she grabbed his hand and led him down the stairs. "Let's eat and watch a movie."

They sat on the couch and ate Chinese takeout while they watched _Casablanca_. April liked the classics. They ate brownies for dessert, the chocolate brownies that he had gotten from her favourite bakery in the city.

When the movie was over, she cuddled into his side and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for the food and movie…" She peppered kisses along his jaw and down his neck. "And by the way, I still want you to come to Ohio with me, if you want."

He looked down at her with surprised eyes. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"Did you tell any of your family about what happened between us?" He questioned nervously.

She shook her head. Everything had happened so quickly that the only people that she had confided in were Meredith and Cristina. She had been talking to her sisters via text message during that time but she had not wanted to get into any of the details because then she would have had to explain everything about Mass Gen and Tulane, and how the seriousness of their relationship had freaked her out. It would have been a mess and her sisters would have been protective and furious. She was the "sensitive" one. She would have talked to them about it eventually but now she was grateful that she hadn't run to them immediately. Her whirlwind of emotions at the time would have given them the wrong impression of Jackson. He was smart, charming, and sweet. He loved her and she wanted them to see that for themselves.

She kissed his cheek again. "Don't even worry. They're going to love you because I love you."

He smiled as she kissed him on the lips. "I hope so."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and ran a hand along the back of his recently shaved head. She really liked the way the short hairs felt against her fingertips. She pulled him down to her level and coyly bit down on her bottom lip. "Wanna make out?"

He laughed, "Is that even a question?"

She grinned as she pushed him down onto his back and climbed on top of him. He had been spoiling her lately with coffee, brownies, and old movies. They talked and cuddled for hours on end. They played chess, which she always won. They played cards, which he usually won. But aside from an innocent kiss here and there, they had done very little physically since reuniting. It wasn't like they could slow down the emotional pace of their relationship. They already lived together. They had already said, 'I love you'. So, they were starting over physically. He really wanted to be certain that she was sure, it was sweet, but she missed being physically intimate with him.

Her lips moved over his slowly as her hands gripped his face. His hands settled on her waist and he eagerly kissed her back. He had forgotten how good it could feel to just kiss someone. One of his hands slid upwards to tangle in her hair as he swept his tongue along her bottom lip. He had never really wanted to just kiss a girl before but he could just kiss April all night and be content.

However, apparently she had other ideas. "How far do you want to go?" She whispered as she kissed the corner of his jaw.

"That's up to you. We can just kiss if you want."

She licked the outer shell of his ear and he shivered. "What if I want to do more than just kiss?"

It hadn't really crossed his mind that she would…want to…so soon. He wanted to give her time, he was back to trying to be a gentleman. But her…talking to him in that voice…and doing that thing with her tongue…

He chuckled gruffly, "April, this is getting—"

She shifted her hips against his and felt his length through the fabric of both of their jeans. "Hard?" She giggled.

"April," he groaned as he tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. Moving her hips like that was very dangerous.

"I'm sorry," she apologized through giggles. She buried her head in the crook of his neck and continued to laugh. "I'm sorry, that was mean."

"Are you done?" He asked petulantly.

She rested her chin on his chest and smiled. "Yes, I'm done." She caringly stroked the stubble along the side of his face. "I'm sorry."

"Okay, well we can stay on first base or we could move to second base…" He trailed off when he noticed her confused face. "You have no idea what that means, do you?"

"I was a twenty-nine year old virgin, remember?" She joked.

He looked at her fondly and cradled her face in his large hands. "The point is that we don't have to do anything serious."

"Explain it to me. I want to know what second base means."

Jackson couldn't help but smile at the fact that her voice had that same edge of excitement as when she read up on new surgical techniques. "Well first base is just kissing, usually with tongue." She nodded in understanding. "Second base is like kissing with heavy petting, the possibility of taking off your shirt is there but not necessarily expected."

She smirked at him mischievously before she said, "Take off your shirt."

"Okay." She was setting the pace, who was he to argue. He sat up and whipped his t-shirt over his head. He fell back onto the couch and April's mouth instantly covered his. She ran her hands all over his sculpted chest and he cupped her behind in response. She laughed as she pulled her mouth away from his and started to kiss down his neck.

Jackson took harsh, ragged breaths as she trailed kisses down his torso. He couldn't remember the last time that he had been this turned on and she had barely even touched him. He grabbed her waist and swiftly pinned her beneath him, bracing both of his hands on the arm of the sofa.

She squealed in surprise and laughed at the goofy grin on his face. Her laugh faded into a moan as he dipped his head and his mouth found _that_ spot on her neck. "Jackson…"

"Do you like that?" He asked huskily.

April felt her face flush and she shyly nodded. He knew what saying things like that, in that raspy voice did to her. She arched her back and hitched a leg over his hips.

Jackson smirked against her skin; he knew exactly what he was doing. "What else do you like?"

She laughed breathlessly as he opened the top button of her plaid shirt with one hand. "Just keep doing what you're doing," she said encouragingly.

He took a moment to gaze at her face. Heavy, darkened eyes, flushed cheeks, and swollen lips. He dropped down onto his left elbow and cupped her jaw in his hand. She smiled at him as he ran his thumb along her bottom lip.

"What is it?" She asked in a whisper. His eyes were dark and intense and he looked at her as if he was studying her.

"You know you're beautiful, right?"

"Jackson," she sighed with a bashful smile. His voice was so sincere that there was no doubt in her mind about whether or not he was just trying to lift her self-esteem. He believed what he said and beautiful wasn't a word that she had heard very often, before him. She slipped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him down for a kiss that was a little more desperate than those earlier in the night.

He kissed her back hungrily as he finished unbuttoning her shirt. He pushed the material aside and dropped his mouth to the swell of her breasts. His right hand slid up from her waist to knead her breast. He swept his thumb over her nipple and she whimpered as she increased the pressure of her hand on the back of his skull. "I love second base by the way," he murmured into her cleavage. Her breasts were so responsive, it drove him wild.

She threw her head back and let out an infectious laugh. He chuckled along with her and in the midst of their laughter, neither one of them heard the front door open and close.

"Can you two put some clothes on please?" A voice scolded from the doorway.

April shrieked in surprise and Jackson swore. "Jesus Karev!" He sat up on the edge of the couch and pulled his flustered girlfriend behind him as she furiously buttoned her shirt back up. "What are you doing here?" Jackson asked in irritation.

Alex held up the case of the beer in his hand. "I need people to bitch to. I brought beer." He turned and headed into the kitchen. "Nice bra Kepner!" He called out.

April pressed her reddened face against Jackson's back as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Sorry," she whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He laid his palms flat on his knees and took a deep breath. "I just…um…I need a minute."

She looked down at the large bulge in his jeans and apologized again. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," he chuckled. He stood up but quickly bent down to give her a soft kiss. "I'm going to see what he's doing." And maybe kick his ass as well.

"Okay," she replied as she stood as well. "I'm going to check on Zola."

She went towards the staircase while he grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head as he walked to the kitchen.

Alex had already opened a beer and was now looking in the cupboards for something to eat. He noticed Jackson's entrance and immediately began talking. "Ya know Robbins hates flying? But she's on that plane to Boise anyway, just to spite me."

"Karev?"

He stopped his search to face Jackson. "Yeah?"

Jackson huffed in disbelief. "We were kinda in the middle of something, in case you didn't notice."

"I noticed," Karev smirked evilly.

Jackson's fists clenched but he resisted the urge to punch him in the face. He and Karev were actually friends now. "My point is," he groaned, "that I wouldn't have interrupted you like that. You could have called or texted first. How did you get in anyway?"

"I still have a key," he shrugged. "And you're right, that was not cool. But I figured me coming over to hangout while you babysat was cool. You guys haven't really been doing much since you got back together. Your bedroom has been pretty quiet lately." He lowered his voice, "Is she holding out?"

Jackson shook his head. "No. I'm the one who decided that we shouldn't just jump back in bed but I still don't appreciate the interruption."

"Yeah, I get it," Alex nodded. "You were getting tit."

"Karev!" He exploded at the other man's crassness and exhaled heavily through his nose. "Just bring the beer in the living room and keep your mouth shut about—"

"Kepner's boobs?"

Jackson glared at him and heatedly grabbed the case of beer off of the counter. Alex followed him out of the kitchen laughing roguishly and carrying the bag of chips he had found.

* * *

**A/N: I think that you can tell by now that certain elements of this story are canon. Please leave a review! :)**


	18. Everything's Fine

**A/N: This is a short chapter but an important one. Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter 18 – Everything's Fine**

April, Jackson, and Alex all spent the night at Meredith's house. It was like déjà vu, they were comfortable, but so much had changed since the three of them had actually lived in the house. They awoke the next morning and went into work separately. April left early to pick up dry-cleaning for Meredith and Cristina, and to bring Zola into daycare.

Their day was slow, much slower than usual despite the fact that they were a little short staffed. Alex was still off of peds cases, Sloan had cleared all of his surgeries for the day so Jackson was left with the lone task of checking on his post-ops, and nothing worthwhile came into the pit.

Alex was scrubbing in with Torres while April and Jackson spent the afternoon charting in her office. Jackson was sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table while April worked at her desk.

She looked up from her chart and fondly looked around the room. She realized that she needed to start packing up soon. She needed to get it ready for the next Chief Resident; she really hoped that it would be Lexie.

She was going to miss having an office but she was really going to miss this office in particular. She was really going to miss this hospital and she knew that the residents' dinner tonight was just going to remind her of that. Dr. Webber had taken every group of fifth year residents out to dinner and tonight it was their turn. Meredith and Cristina would get back from Boise just in time to join her, Jackson, and Alex at the restaurant. Dr. Webber was positively over the moon about tonight, he had pre-ordered the duck, and she was looking forward to it but Jackson seemed rather reserved about the whole thing.

She finally decided to ask him about it. "Are you excited for dinner tonight?"

Jackson chuckled humourlessly while his eyes never left his chart. "Not exactly. Webber and I…have issues…"

"What do you mean?" She asked with a laugh.

"He…uh…he slept with my Mom," he told her awkwardly.

April gasped, "No way!" He nodded glumly and hummed. She covered her mouth, which had dropped open in shock, with her hand. Dr. Webber and Catherine Avery. April thought they'd make a cute couple but it obviously made Jackson uncomfortable. "When?" She inquired curiously.

"In San Francisco."

Okay, it was kind of weird that the same night that she and Jackson had gotten together, Dr. Webber and Jackson's mother had…well, she would rather not think about the logistics of it.

"How did you find out?" She probed.

He smiled wryly. "I went to my Mom's room the next morning to get my pencil." April smiled at the mention of his lucky pencil. "And Webber answered the door," he finished.

She got up from her chair behind her desk and walked towards her mini-refrigerator. "Wow," she said to herself, "wow." That must have shaken Jackson up for the Boards as well.

"Yeah," Jackson agreed. He was still not used to the idea that…_that_…had even happened but he was trying not to think about it too hard. He laid his chart down on the table in front of him and grinned as he watched April bend at the waist to look into the fridge. Her butt looked really good in scrubs.

"Have you—?"

She yelped as Jackson grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down into his lap. He laughed at her reaction as he placed a hand on the back of her neck and guided her lips to his. "I don't really want to talk about Webber and my Mom," he whispered.

"Mmm okay." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his as much as she could while sitting sideways in his lap. She massaged the back of his head with her fingertips and he moaned. "I like your hair like this."

"Good to know," he responded. The movements of her fingers sent shivers down his spine and all of his blood rushed south. "Because I love what you're doing right now."

She giggled and continued her ministrations. He slipped a hand under her scrub top and caressed her breast through her bra. She whimpered and pressed her mouth against his…hard.

She slowly ran a hand down his chest until she reached the waistband of his scrub pants. She gently tugged on the drawstrings and he inhaled sharply. She kissed him quickly on the lips before she pulled back to look at him. "Can I…?" She trailed off as she bit down on her bottom lip and gave his drawstrings another experimental yank.

"Yeah," he answered in breathless excitement. "Yeah." Like he was going to say no?

They had officially reignited the part of their relationship where they couldn't keep their hands to themselves. When they decided to have sex again, it was going to be mind-blowing. The slightest touch felt scorching.

April's office door opened and Jackson gritted his teeth as he reluctantly broke their kiss. He already knew who it was. Only one person that they knew had so little manners and felt secure enough around them not to knock on the door first. And only one person enjoyed seeing Jackson so frustrated.

"Karev, I am going to kill you," he said with no trace of humour in his voice.

Alex ignored him as he headed to April's desk and opened her snack drawer. "I have nothing to do and no one else to talk to. Keep it in your pants, Avery."

April tried to slide off of Jackson but his hands on her waist held her in place. "We should have locked the door. Just stay here," he whispered in her ear. He placed a kiss on the side of her exposed neck; he always liked it when she wore her hair up. He smiled as he felt her skin grow hot and he buried his nose in her hair at the nape of her neck.

"What's up?" Alex asked nonchalantly as he sat in the desk chair and put his feet up on the edge of April's desk.

"Well," Jackson began, "as you can see, we're busy. April was just about to—"

She quickly covered his mouth with her hand. "We were charting."

Alex laughed and threw a chocolate bar at Jackson's chest. "Go to an on-call room next time."

Jackson grumbled as he tore the wrapper open and bit into the bar.

April ran a hand along Jackson's scalp before she spoke in her perky, high-pitched voice. "So, how was your surgery with Torres?"

"Boring," Alex answered shortly.

She tried another topic of conversation. "Excited for dinner tonight?"

Despite his sour mood, Jackson smiled to himself. His girlfriend's cheeks and neck were blood red, and she was still sitting in his lap yet she was trying to hold a conversation with Alex anyway. She was embarrassed and it was endearing, and adorable. He massaged the back of her neck and ate his chocolate bar while listening to April talk to Alex about the end of residency dinner. She was cheerful and excited and the more that she talked, the wider he smiled. He could see Karev looking at him in revulsion but he honestly didn't care. He was aware that she had him wrapped around her finger. He was infatuated and enthralled, and every other adjective that he could think of. No woman had ever captured his heart quite like April had. He was so in love with her that it was dangerous.

* * *

They had survived residency and this was their time to celebrate. This was supposed to be a celebratory dinner but the four people sitting at the table were still waiting for Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang to show up. Their plane was scheduled to land over an hour ago yet they still weren't here and they hadn't called or texted.

"I wonder what's keeping them," Webber pondered.

"Maybe they got delayed," April posed.

Alex pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I'm gonna call Mer." He dialled her number but lowered the phone from his ear seconds later. "Got the machine," he mumbled.

Jackson sipped his water and awkwardly avoided eye contact with the former Chief. He was wondering how long they would wait before this dinner would mercifully end. If Grey and Yang didn't show up, he didn't want to sit around and force conversation about their futures in medicine.

After the waiter came by for the third time to ask if they were ready to order, Webber cleared his throat. "Maybe we should reschedule."

The three residents eagerly nodded. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea," April offered.

They stood up from the table and politely said their goodbyes. Jackson took April's hand and led her to his car with Alex trailing behind them. She paused before opening the passenger door and he looked at her curiously.

"What is it?"

"If they're not back in Seattle yet then maybe I should pick up Zola from daycare."

Jackson smiled at her thoughtfulness. "Okay, let's go pick her up."

They swung by the hospital and April darted inside to get Zola. With the addition of the toddler, they headed back to Meredith's house for another night.

"Robbins isn't answering her phone either," Alex told them once they were all gathered in the kitchen.

"I'm sure everything's fine," April assured him. It was clear that Alex was very worried and she could understand why. The only people that he had that weren't on that plane were standing in the kitchen with him.

Neither of the three was in the mood for a night cap or chit chat so they all went to bed earlier than usual. Like the night before, Alex stayed in his old room while April and Jackson slept on the pullout bed in the den.

Jackson lay on his back staring at the ceiling. This bed wasn't half as comfortable as his bed at their apartment. He turned his head to look at April who was curled up on her side facing away from him. She was quiet but he knew that she wasn't asleep. All of the sexual tension that had been building between them all day had suddenly evaporated and been replaced by a palpable sadness. She was worried and upset. He rolled onto his side and gently laid a hand on her back. "What's on your mind?" He whispered.

She merely sighed in response. She wasn't exactly sure what was wrong but she hadn't stopped praying since she got into bed. She was worried about her friends and colleagues that were supposed to already be back in Seattle. Also, celebrating the end of residency made her realize how little time she had with Jackson before he was in Louisiana and she was in Virginia.

He rubbed soothing circles into her spine. "April, what is it?"

She turned over to face him and immediately cuddled into his chest. "I have a bad feeling Jackson," she murmured.

He ran a hand up and down her arm to comfort her. "Like you said, I'm sure everything's fine."

She was silent for minutes but she wrapped an arm around his waist and trailed her fingers along his lower back. Eventually she said, "Yeah…yeah, you're right." There was always the power of positive thinking.

Her voice had risen in positivity and he smiled. He kissed her on the top of the head. "Just relax and go to sleep. I love you."

She tilted her head up to kiss him on the lips. "I love you too Jackson. Thank you."

He smiled softly as he hugged her against his body. "No problem."

* * *

When their pagers went off at 1:14 AM, they knew that they had been wrong and that everything was not fine.

* * *

**A/N: Please review! :)**


	19. Crazy

**A/N: Enjoy...**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual.**

* * *

**C****hapter 19 – Crazy**

Owen Hunt stood on the staircase in the main lobby and overlooked the staff that he had paged in the middle of the night. They looked fearful and anxious, and he had to be the one to confirm their suspicions. Very few good announcements came when the Chief of Surgery stood on these steps. He had already pulled Torres aside to tell her privately, her family was out there, but now he had to make it public.

"Thanks everyone for coming in," he began shakily. He awkwardly glanced down at his clipboard and took a deep breath. "The plane to Boise…with our surgeons on it…never arrived." He heard a series of gasps but he forged on. "Search and rescue has been dispatched. Unfortunately, right now we can't do anything but wait. We're short staffed so help out where you can and sleep when you can. Dr. Altman is no longer an attending at Seattle Grace Mercy West but she will have full privileges for the foreseeable future." He stepped down and glanced at the shocked faces around him. He felt just as useless as they did. "Dr. Kepner, I need to speak with you in my office," he called out.

"Ye-yes, si-r," she stammered.

He slowly walked to his barely used office with Kepner behind him. He opened the door and allowed her to enter first. "I need you to do something for me, Kepner," he said as soon as he closed the door.

April straightened her spine and tried to keep her emotions at bay. They didn't know anything yet, there was no need to let worry overwhelm her, and Dr. Hunt looked more tired and worn than she had ever seen him. She assumed that the only thing that he was able to focus on right now was Cristina. "Anything, Chief."

"Right now, we know nothing. We don't know where they are, how long they've been out there, if they're even…" His voice cracked and he shook his head in an effort to regain some control. "I can't handle this case because my wife…"

He stopped talking and April nodded in understanding. "What do you need Chief?"

"None of the trauma attendings really know these people and you are the only resident that I've trained for something like this. When the call from search and rescue comes in, I need you to take it. I need you to be in charge. Can you do this for me Kepner?"

She was an emotional woman and it was part of what made her good at her job but he needed her to keep a cool head right now. She hadn't handled Henry's death well. She had been a wreck before leaving for the Boards. So Owen honestly expected her to shake and stammer, to be on the verge of tears, he did not expect her to calmly look him in the eye and nod. She had grown and he was proud of her.

"Yes, sir, I can do this."

"Thank you Kepner," he breathed. "You'll get a page."

April left the Chief's office and started to walk across the skywalk. She appeared calm but she was not okay. Not at all. She couldn't help but remember the last time that the hospital had been in a dire situation like this. People had died. Her friends had died.

More of her friends could die now.

They could already be dead.

She stopped in her tracks and it was if she was transported back in time. She was standing in the same spot she had two years ago. Derek Shepherd was lying a foot in front of her with blood pouring from his chest and she could do absolutely nothing because Gary Clark's gun was trained on her.

She felt like it was happening all over again. She felt just as paralyzed.

Her own words echoed in her head.

"_I've barely lived! I'm not finished yet! No one's loved me yet!"_

She still wasn't finished yet. She had grown so much since that day and she finally had someone who loved her, but she still wasn't finished yet, and that's what she needed to remember to get through this. She wasn't finished yet and everyone on that plane wasn't finished yet either. They all had people who loved them, who would miss them. Little Zola and Sofia could lose parents.

She pulled herself out of the dreadful memory and walked away with a newfound strength.

* * *

Jackson wasn't sure what to think or feel. He was in shock. People that he genuinely cared about were on that plane. Sloan. Lexie. Meredith and Shepherd had given him a place to stay when he had nowhere else to go. He even cared about Yang. He didn't know Robbins that well but he felt for Torres and he could imagine the overwhelming guilt that Karev was experiencing right now. He was supposed to be in her place.

He was aware of how selfish it was but his first thought had been that he was glad that it hadn't been April. She was here with him, and she was safe. He had no idea what he would do if she had been on that plane. He didn't even want to think about it.

He was still standing at the base of the staircase, with everyone else, waiting for Hunt to return to give them some orders. He was also waiting for April to come back. He needed to hold her for a minute before he could do anything else.

Hunt walked towards the group of doctors with a purpose and started administering their new assignments.

"Avery."

"Yes, sir?"

"Reschedule all of Sloan's procedures for today and do his post-ops."

Jackson nodded. "Yes, sir." Hunt nodded back before moving on to a stunned Karev and Jackson took off to see April.

He looked all over the hospital for her, in all of the usual places, and was very confused when she was nowhere to be found. He scratched his head and thought about paging her when a thought crossed his mind. It was the one place he hadn't checked yet and where he should have known to look first. He knew exactly where she would want to be right now.

* * *

Jackson stood in the doorway of the hospital's chapel and was content with just having her in his sight. She was sitting in a pew with Bailey and Torres and he didn't want to interrupt. He wouldn't know what to say anyway. He couldn't remember the last time that he had been to a church, let alone prayed. He had been baptized but his parents had always been too busy with surgery to bring him to church. So he didn't really know much about religion. But he had always admired people who had strong faith. It was optimistic.

Dr. Bailey slowly stood up and walked towards him. Jackson could tell that the small woman was doing her best to hold herself together. She took a deep breath before she spoke. "You're a good boy, Avery."

His brows furrowed in confusion. "Thank you," he replied unsurely.

"Take good care of her," she said pointedly as she tilted her head back towards where April was sitting.

"I will, ma'am," he replied seriously.

Bailey nodded, seemingly satisfied, before she walked away.

After a few minutes, April stood and turned to leave the chapel as well. She smiled as soon as she saw him. "Hey," she greeted softly. She grabbed his hand and led him a little further down the empty hallway. She stopped and looked up at him with a smile still on her face but it had turned sad. "I'm sorry, I just had to—"

She gestured back towards the chapel and he interrupted her. "Don't apologize. I get it," he said as he squeezed her hand. "How's Torres?"

She sighed, "As good as can be expected I guess. I think the not knowing is the worst. I told her that I'd come back as soon as I spoke to search and rescue."

Jackson looked at her quizzically. "Why would you be talking to search and rescue?"

"Chief Hunt asked me to," she explained.

"Are you okay with that?" He asked in concern.

She nodded. "Yeah…yeah I think so. I have to be."

He tried to read the expression on her face but she was doing an unusually good job of hiding her feelings. Typically April was an open book. She wore her heart on her sleeve, it was one of the things he loved about her, but she wanted to be a tough trauma surgeon tonight. He understood. He pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He kissed the top of her head and spoke against her hair. "I'm here if you need anything, you know that."

She clutched his biceps and rested her ear against his chest. She could hear his heart beating. It was comforting. "Tell me you love me." She really needed to hear it tonight.

Jackson thought that her request was odd but he was not about to deny her. "I love you so much its crazy." She tilted her head upwards and he leaned down to kiss her smoothly on the mouth. He cupped her jaw and brushed her cheek with his thumb. "I love you April Kepner." He kissed her again before he pulled away with a teasing grin. "Now tell me how much you love me."

She laughed softly and moved her arms up to circle his neck. She repeated his words with a playful smile. "I love you so much its crazy."

"Get your own material Kepner," he joked.

Their lips met once again but their sweet moment was interrupted by her pager. She looked down at it and her face paled. "It's the nurses' station."

"Search and rescue," he stated forlornly. "Do you want me to come with you?"

She shook her head. "No, I'll come find you after." She kissed him goodbye before she walked away.

Jackson stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the wall. He really hoped that it wouldn't be bad news. He recalled what Yang had said before they had started to operate on Shepherd...before they had cut into the neuro surgeon's chest. Her last hopeful statement in a seemingly hopeless situation.

"It's a beautiful day to save lives," he muttered to himself.

* * *

April decided to take the phone call in the office behind the nurses' station. She could see the group of doctors and nurses congregated outside, watching her through the window. Dr. Bailey was there. So was Dr. Webber. She couldn't handle their troubled faces so she closed the doors and shut the blinds. She took a deep breath before she finally picked up the phone.

"This is Dr. April Kepner."

…

"Thank God."

…

A sob caught in her throat but she pushed it back down. "Are you sure?"

…

"Okay."

…

"What are their conditions?"

…

"Okay."

…

"When they arrive at Oregon Health and Science, tell their Chief of Surgery that we want updates as frequently as possible, and as soon as they're stable, we want them flown back to Seattle," she ordered confidently.

…

"Okay. Thank you."

She laid the phone back in its cradle with a shaking hand. She couldn't leave this office yet. She needed time to process what she had just been told before she was able to tell everyone else. She slowly lowered herself down into a nearby chair. She tried to relax but she couldn't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. She wiped at them furiously but it was no use.

"I'm a solider. I'm a solider. _I'm a solider_."

She must have repeated the phrase fifty times before she stopped crying. She got to her feet and walked towards the door. She placed her hand on the doorknob and muttered to herself, "Keep it together Kepner."

She finally exited the room and was surprised to see how many people had joined the waiting group while she was talking to search and rescue. Jackson. Dr. Altman. Dr. Torres. Alex. Chief Hunt. Everyone was here now.

"Just say it Kepner," Hunt said to break the crushing silence, "while everyone is here."

"The plane crashed in the forest in Northern Oregon. They found them. They're on their way to Oregon Health and Science in Portland."

There was a collective sigh of relief. They were being brought to a hospital so at least there were survivors.

Webber asked what all of them were thinking. "How is everyone?"

"Dr. Sloan and Dr. Robbins are in critical condition. Meredith and Cristina appear to have sustained fairly minor injuries in comparison. Dr. Shepherd's left hand doesn't look too good." She paused and everyone could tell by the look on her face that what she was about to say next was the worst of it. "Lexie…um…Lexie was already gone when they got there."

* * *

Everything seemed to move in slow motion after April's declaration.

Hunt walked up to her and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you, Kepner." She merely nodded. "I can take it from here." He headed to the conference room and Teddy followed him to make sure that he was okay.

Bailey took Torres back to the chapel and Webber pulled an angry Alex aside.

April slowly approached Jackson and took his hand. She already had a little time to process, he hadn't and he was clearly in a state of shock. She led him to a nearby on-call room and closed the door. He stood in the middle of the room, with unfocused eyes, while she sat down on the bed.

"Jackson," she called his name quietly. He finally met her gaze and she could see tears in his eyes. "Oh, baby, come here."

The only time that she had ever seen him like this was in the aftermath of the shooting. He usually expressed his grief through anger. Jackson hardly ever cried but he was practically sobbing now. He sat next to her on the bed and wrapped his arms around her waist. April quickly manoeuvred them so that she was lying on her back and he on his side. His arms were still wrapped tightly around her waist and his head was resting on her chest. She ran her hand over his scalp and down the base of his neck in a soothing, repetitive motion. She didn't know what else to do but lie with him. He had held her while she cried about Reed; it was time for her to return the favour.

She had known exactly what to say to him when he lost Charles because she had lost Reed. She wasn't sure what to say now. Lexie was her friend but they had had a lot of disagreements and misunderstandings, they hadn't always gotten along. He had known Lexie a lot better than she had. They were much closer. He had loved her. Lexie had once been a huge part of his life. It was always hard to lose someone that you had once imagined a future with.

Eventually, his crying stopped and his breathing evened out. She thought that he had fallen asleep but then he spoke.

"This is crazy. A plane crash. And Lexie…"

"I know," she cooed. "You loved Lexie once, its hard to—"

He interrupted her, "This isn't about Lexie. Of course I'm upset that she's…gone, she was my friend." In fact, he and Lexie had been on their way to having a closer friendship than ever before. "I thought that I loved her at the time but I never loved her the way that I love you. I never loved her the way that Mark does."

"Oh." Her eyes widened in realization. He was upset about Lexie but he was crying for Sloan. She knew that they had a special relationship. "I'm so sorry."

Jackson shifted and laid his head in the crook of her neck. "He must be absolutely devastated," he muttered.

"Yeah," she agreed in a whisper.

"Can you…can you pray for him?" He asked tentatively.

She smiled a little to herself. "Of course. Of course."

"Good." He slipped a hand underneath her scrub top and rested it on her stomach. He just needed to touch her skin. He was trying hard not to think about how he would feel if he was in Mark's place but it kept creeping into his mind. He knew that the older man would be there for him, no questions asked. "I need to stay."

"What?"

He raised his head to look at her. "If Mark makes it through this then I need to stay in Seattle. He's going to need help, not only with work but…" He trailed off and frowned.

She touched his face and smiled in understanding. "Okay. We'll stay."

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "We?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "I can't live across the country from you for two years. I was stupid to even think I could."

"Are you sure? UVA is so great and apparently long-distance relationship sex is the best," he stated to lighten the mood.

She laughed and said sarcastically, "As persuasive as that argument is. I love you. I love this hospital." When it came down to it the people of Seattle Grace Mercy West were the only ones who understood the things that she had been through. UVA, or Mount Sinai, or any other hospital didn't know what it was like to survive a merger and a shooting…a plane crash. And no other hospital had Jackson. She needed to be in Seattle; professionally and personally it was the best choice. "I'm sure," she stated firmly.

He smiled as he raised himself up on his hands so that he was hovering above her. "Okay, we're staying." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

At least one good thing had happened today.

She ran her hand along the back of his head and suggested softly, "Let's go to sleep for a little while."

"Okay," he whispered. He rested his head on her chest once again and closed his eyes.

April took a deep breath and remembered the passage of the Bible that her mother had recited after her first grandparent had passed away when she was seven.

_The souls of the virtuous are in the hands of God, no torment shall ever touch them. In the eyes of the unwise, they did appear to die, their going looked like a disaster, their leaving us, like annihilation; but they are in peace._

* * *

**A/N: I am very happy with how this chapter turned out so I hope that it met your expectations. I am sad to say that the next chapter will be the last. But never fret, the sequel is like 3/4 written.**

**Please review! :)**


	20. Some Good News

**Disclaimer: Grey's is not mine, sadly.**

* * *

**Chapter 20 – Some Good News**

April and Jackson left the on-call room and walked to the main conference room hand in hand. Jackson knocked on the door and Teddy motioned them inside while Owen spoke on the phone.

When Owen finished his phone call, he looked up at the two residents curiously. "Yeah?"

"Do you have news?" April asked.

Owen nodded. "They just arrived. Robbins and Sloan are being rushed into surgery, and they're stabilizing Shepherd. They're not sure what to do about his hand. Meredith and Cristina are being checked out in the ER."

"Good," she replied relieved. It was comforting to know that they were in the process of being treated. But everyone in the room would rather have them here instead of Portland. Surgeons were used to feeling in control and this was a difficult situation for them to deal with. Too much sitting around and waiting.

"Dr. Hunt," Jackson began. "Have you hired fellows for next year yet?"

The older doctor shook his head. "No, I, um, have my mind made up on some but I haven't gotten the chance."

"We would like to stay, if that's possible," Jackson said hopefully.

Teddy smiled. "Both of you?"

April nodded and returned the smile. "If you'll have us."

Owen was completely taken aback. With all of his talented residents leaving and a plane crash endangering the lives of his wife, friends, and three department heads, he had been ready to do damage control. "What happened to Tulane and UVA?"

Jackson placed a hand on April's shoulder and shrugged. "Things change," he explained simply.

Owen leaned back and exhaled. "Well, yeah, of course you can have jobs here next year."

"Thank you Chief," April smiled brightly.

Jackson thanked Hunt as well before he and April left to find some work to do.

Teddy gave Owen the brightest, happiest smile she could muster. "You have a plastics fellow and a trauma fellow. At least that's some good news."

Owen smiled weakly and nodded. "Yeah, I am happy to have them." And he truly was happy to have them fill fellowship positions, Kepner especially, because he had put a lot of personal time and effort into her training. But until Cristina came back to Seattle safe and sound, he was going to have difficultly thinking about what was best for his hospital.

* * *

At first light, the surviving doctors of Seattle Grace Mercy West were flown back one by one.

Cristina Yang was the first. She was her usual stoic self and would have liked nothing more than to return to surgery right away. But her arm was in a sling so after being checked out for a second time, she stayed with her husband in the conference room and waited for her best friend.

Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd came home next. Shepherd was admitted, they had to operate on his hand and Hunt was assembling the best team that he could to try to create a plan to save it. The last thing that they heard was that they were flying in an old friend and specialist from New York. Meredith had lost quite a bit of blood due to a laceration on her leg but she was strong and on her feet with the aid of crutches.

Arizona Robbins was placed in the ICU. She was stable, and her leg did not need to be amputated, but they weren't sure if she'd ever be able to walk the same. Torres took her leave immediately and only moved from her wife's bedside to check on her best friend and father of her child. She was going to be a very active participant in Arizona's treatment plan.

Mark Sloan was the last. He was also stable and looked like he would be able to make a full recovery but he hadn't woken up since arriving in Seattle. People seemed to think that it was more of his mind's way of healing than his body's.

Lexie Grey's body was also brought back to Seattle.

Another tragedy had taken its toll on the hospital and all of a sudden, April and Jackson weren't the only ones to tell Chief Hunt that they had decided to stay on. First it was Karev; he was committed to helping pick up the slack in peds while Robbins recovered. Then it was Yang. The fact that Cristina wanted to stay, even though Altman was leaving, spoke volumes about her feelings towards Owen. Finally, Grey made her decision. As to be expected, Harvard could not hold a job offer for Shepherd when his future as a surgeon was unclear and Meredith was not about to go to Boston when her recovering husband and their support system was on the other side of the country.

It turned out that they all needed Seattle. So the babies were staying in the nest for a little while longer.

* * *

April felt like she was buzzing around the hospital, she was so busy. Seattle Grace Mercy West had three attendings in hospital beds and one on leave, their Head of Cardio was starting a new job in a few days, two residents were recovering until they could be cleared for surgery, and one was…dead. It was still hard to believe. Luckily for April, being short staffed gave her a lot of work to do and not a lot of time to think about the fact that Lexie was never coming back.

However, she had to take time out of her day to run a special errand.

She carried Zola in her arms and stepped into Derek's room. Meredith was sitting in the chair beside his bed and Cristina was in the chair in the corner. The two women looked absolutely exhausted but they both refused to go home.

"I thought that you could use a visitor." April spoke softly so as not to wake Derek.

Meredith's face lit up and she would have jumped out of her chair if that had been possible. She had wanted to see her daughter the minute that she had arrived but Owen had to have her checked out first. She cradled the toddler in her arms and kissed her repeatedly on the cheek while telling her how much she loved her.

"Thank you April," she said gratefully. "And thank you so much for babysitting her."

"It wasn't a problem at all. She's a doll."

"How's Mark?" Cristina asked quietly.

"He's still asleep," April answered.

"And Arizona?"

"She's stable."

Cristina nodded. "Good." She paused before she added. "I'm happy to see you April."

April chuckled. Their friendship had improved over the past year but she never thought that she would hear those words from Cristina Yang. "I'm happy to see you too, Cristina."

* * *

Jackson sat in Mark's room and waited for him to wake up. Sloan didn't really have anyone else right now. His best friend was beside herself with worry for her wife and the man that he considered to be his brother was lying in a hospital bed down the hall. And the love of his life was dead. The man deserved someone at his bedside when he awoke.

Teddy Altman walked in the room to check on Sloan's vitals. She turned to Jackson with a frown. "He still hasn't woken up yet?"

Jackson shook his head. Sloan was muttering in his sleep though.

"He should soon," Altman told him.

Jackson nodded in thanks before the blonde left.

It was getting late and Jackson was beginning to nod off when he heard a croaky voice say his name.

"Avery."

Jackson's eyes snapped open and he leaned forward in his chair. "Dr. Sloan." The older man blinked rapidly to gain his bearings and wet his lips with his tongue. "You're at Seattle Grace," he told him softly.

"So I guess all of this wasn't a nightmare, huh?"

Jackson confirmed his worst fears. "No, sir."

Sloan closed his eyes and tears rolled down his cheeks. "I told her," he began in his weak voice. "I told her I loved her."

"Good." Jackson nodded solemnly. "Good. She deserved to know." He felt his throat constrict but he was determined to keep his emotions in check, the last thing that Sloan needed was him crying. He had completely fallen apart in front of April last night and he was not about to do that again.

"Avery?"

Jackson raised his head to meet his mentor's sorrowful gaze. It was easy to see that he was a broken man. "Yes, sir?"

"Don't do what I did. Don't keep everything in. Don't hold back. Don't wait…for anything. Don't let Kepner get away if you think she's the one."

Jackson smiled. "I'm staying in Seattle, so is April."

"I'm glad to hear that. You would have missed me too much, right?" He was attempting to joke but it wasn't accompanied by his trademark grin. He started to cough so Jackson got up to get him some water. "Thanks," he muttered.

After a few minutes, Jackson confessed a secret. "I want to marry her."

"Then do it," Sloan said firmly. "If you love her and she makes you happy, then don't wait. Its scary but some people are just…meant to be."

Sloan let out a hollow chuckle and Jackson's face fell. Meant to be…that's what Sloan had been muttering in his sleep.

Before Jackson had a chance to respond, he heard footsteps behind him. He quickly turned around and smiled at Dr. Torres. "Hey, I was just leaving."

Callie smiled back at him and he turned on his heel to leave.

"Avery," Sloan called out.

Jackson turned back around and quirked an eyebrow in question. "Yes, sir?"

"Don't wait," he repeated.

* * *

Jackson left Sloan's room and paused in the hallway for a moment before he raced to the residents' locker room. He found April sitting on the bench untying her sneakers.

"Sloan woke up," he stated.

She raised her head and smiled softly. "That's good. How is he? Is he okay? Well, he's obviously not okay but you know what I mean."

He stared at her as she rambled adorably. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she looked really tired. He could think of a hundred scenarios that were more romantic than them in the residents' locker room after midnight. They were physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and wearing dirty scrubs but it felt like the right moment. He had always imagined that when he did this there would be candlelight, and champagne, and music, but they were surgeons. Their lives were exhaustion, and late nights, and dirty scrubs, and if it wasn't for surgery, they never would have met. It felt right to him so he blurted it out.

"Marry me."

Her eyes widened and she responded with a startled laugh. "Excuse me?"

He walked towards her and looked down at where she sat on the bench, immobilized. "Marry. Me." He spoke confidently, with each word clearly pronounced and punctuated. "Its all I've been able to think about since we got back together…marriage and kids…and I don't really have a plan. I don't even have a ring. And I don't really do these big declarations of love but I cried last night in your arms, and I generally don't cry in front of people…ever…but that's the second time I've cried in front of you. And I know that the idea of waking up next to you, every morning, for the rest of my life, makes me happier than I've ever been. I know that you make me happier than anything or anyone." He smiled, "You've always been able to understand me better than anyone else. You make me want to be a better person. I know that it seems fast but I've been falling for you since the moment we met, it just took me five years to really piece it all together." His smile turned brighter as she genuinely laughed at his last comment. "And I don't really believe in soul mates and all that crap and I know that my timing sucks, but I'm told that some people are just meant to be. So marry me," he finished in a whisper.

April couldn't keep the smile off of her face as she struggled to find words. Her heart was absolutely racing in her chest. Her eyes never left his as she propped her elbow on her knee and rested her chin in the palm of her head. The whole situation was surreal. She had not seen this coming at all. Finally, she chuckled and slowly got to her feet. "You really want to get married? Me and you?"

He cradled his face in her hands and grinned at her before he uttered what had always been the most significant phrase of their friendship. "Yeah, me and you."

He bent his head to kiss her and she snaked her arms around his neck. She raised herself up onto her toes and pressed her body firmly against his as she deepened the kiss. One hand continued to cradle her face while the other wrapped around her waist.

He pulled back with a laugh. "You know," he began as he ran his thumb along her cheek, "this is usually the part where you say yes or no."

She giggled, "I thought it was implied."

"Nope, you have to say it."

"Yes," she smiled. "I love you. Yes."

"I love you too."

They kissed again and this time she was the one to pull back. "Don't think that because you just did the big declaration of love that you don't have to get me a ring."

He laughed, "I wouldn't dream of it." He actually couldn't wait to put an engagement ring on her finger. He gave her a quick, soft kiss. "Now, let's go home and get some sleep. We can come back early tomorrow."

"That sounds perfect." She kissed him again and then walked to her locker to grab a change of clothes.

Jackson smiled to himself as he moved towards his own locker. It all actually did sound kind of perfect.

* * *

**A/N: So there you have it, a fairly happy ending. I want to thank everyone who reviewed this story, especially the regulars who reviewed every single chapter. I really appreciate it.**

**I'm not sure when I'll start posting the sequel but stay tuned. I have other Japril projects in the works as well.**

**Leave me your final comments! :)**


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